To Be Fucked...

Is Me...Look at the facebook picture...Simple and flat...Farewell Til further notice blog world. hope you all miss me...If not I wont be mad either.

2 A.M.

I’ll label this on “2 A.m.” since it just so happens to be the time while I’m doing this, any whom I miss the everyday blog world. Then again I despise it since I was blogging everyday of one the most depressing as moments of my entire existence, but that is not why I am blogging at the moment. I just wanted to reflect on my day while in the office (On the toilet), which is one of the most refreshing mind freeing things I’ve should’ve been up on lol. Which was up and down by the way, I got to see my manz Chick Wigity (Chicky Wing) and Ty along with Britt. Great lil time with them especially with my manz Chicky, other than that being the highlight of my day I came across some more music I’m diggin’ and will have to listen to more often. Jim Jones & DJ Webstar’s “The Rooftop” is dope I finally got Teyana Taylor’s (HARLEM STAND UP!!!) “A Planet Called Harlem” mixtape which is what I’ve been expecting to get, and seeing my love Ajene attitude and all since she came in Irritated for whatever reasons I know not of. I believe it is because of me and minor other things, then again it could not be about me but I fairly do believe it is because of me mostly given something we talked about earlier. I am sitting here in my chair now as I type this as she sleeps, lord knows I love this woman more than a lot of things in this fucked up world and seeing the end of us would be another shock to my world and heart. Given me blogging about this will probably piss some of my readers off but I say again I spill my soul and then some on this fucking blog, not for the sake of you to read or see if your life is better and or worse but for my own well being as an outlet when I do not have my bro’s or my lady as you see. I mean deadass though I am still hurt over the things that have been said throughout a conversation earlier, I would rather get lost than have her feeling such a way. Seeing as the whole “Cramping” or “smothering” someone with my love and affection…hell it could be my presence but I would rather go get lost for the duration of her to have her space, hell if need be I’ll go to my godparents or my grandmothers…shit if drastic measures had to be taken I’d go spend the evening in a park or homeless shelter. Now {Pause} some will probably take those last statements out of proportion, but it is not to be taken lightly or too heavily. Do understand me and what I say, those are just my thoughts and or possible things I am willing to do and or go for just for the one I love and cherish. I just want everything to be perfect; even though nothing is ever perfect I aim to strive for it. Can you blame me for it? The fuck is wrong with that? I enjoy every lasting moment we share as if it could come crashing down at any given moment, I believe in my heart it will not but it has been a proven fact that what I feel in my heart is not what will happen in reality. I’m used to it but I will continue to strive and fight to keep it alive, even though I’m speaking as if things are on bad terms when it is not. Just a few bumps in the road to the promise land which is I feel like I’m already there every day, I refuse to be pushed out of heaven again…Yeah I said again since I was forced out the first time and I snuck back in through the back door, call me “Mr. The Special Uninvited Guest”. Oh Yeah! I’m also pissed at the fact I didn’t even receive another homecoming hug or kiss, but given she was and probably will still be irritated when she reads this probably will not land me one. Oh well I’ll get it eventually, I cannot stress enough how happy and content I am or how happy and content I think I make you. Given the last few days have not shown any progress in anyway but I have yet to give up hope though, well this will conclude my rant of the day or my 2 A.m. shit I had plans on doing. I could keep going but I’m sleepy from laying next to her without her even laying or touching me and vice versa, which is hard to believe in the midst of me being lost in the ipod once I hopped out the shower. She didn’t say nothing to me or attempted to tell me she love me but that’s it so laters people…

Let's Start The Show

It’s been a while America has it not? I know I’m sorry it has been such a while since my last blog, if it has been that long. I’ve been quite busy I’ve started work and it is going well by the way, other than that I’ve endured a few bumps in my road. What road does not have bumps in it? Right, I thought so…any whom me and the Mrs. have been doing well despite the little bumps we had when one another had “one of those days” nah mean? I’ve stumbled across more music from some of my Fav rappers so I’m like deadass Od’n on them as much as possible. My bro’s doing str8 despite one of our own (No names given) has fallen to legal troubles, just know it is not one of the bro’s FYI but hold ya head ma we’re trying to do as much as possible. With what little contribution I can add I’ll damn sure try, my Mrs. Has yet to return to her home and I am beginning to become a tad worried, I’ll handle that if it gets out of hand. Let’s just hope it does not have to come to that, Umm my grandmother still hounding me about her typical shit as always. Myself & my mother still are not really on good terms given she’s been kissing ole dude ass for the longest, I have not had contact with my god parents after finding out there were some more underlying things said or sneak jabs thrown at me and more so my crew. So I’ve like not bothered thinking of confronting it, even though I would like to but it would not do shit but make more shit than needed so I’ll leave it at that and let that go.
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Tuesday was a ok day besides the after effect, We did our typical routine of hooping after like 2 or 3 weeks of not going do to us search or having found jobs. So we were kind of out of the loop, even though it damn sure did not feel like it, hell even E came down with his girlfriend and enjoyed what little time we did get to kick it with one another. Even though that nigga like played me to the left but I’ll just let that go, outside of that I’ve spoken with Tuna P. She’s been good she’ll be home and even threw up a few update blogs while at it, I’m proud of her and told her she’d overcome the mini trials and tribulations she was going through. Cannot wait to see my nigga Tuna P when she get home Big Bro stay waiting for your return, Outside of that I have not seen my lil man Chicky wing in a while I deadass miss my lil dude. I haven’t seen him since the last time me and his pops had hit the gym before we took our hiatus from it, we’re over due to meet again lil daddy unc misses you and loves you much. I haven’t spoken to his mother/my supposed lil sister in a while, I had a high attitude with her but I’ve long gotten over it because of her last name and the track record that has long grown behind it nah mean?
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Now on to the main…well not main but one of the actual reason’s I’ve decided to arise from my blog hiatus, I stay talking to Ty as always. That should go without say and we seem to stay in some shit together, Lol that’s what’s brothers are for right? Any whom but he did text me asking me a befuddling question and I’m still attempting to fathom a non-confusing answer for him, and we see how that is going now that I am sitting here pondering as I blog. The more I rack my brain around this I believe I realize I just might come up with a solution to his question, one for him to understand but I’ll sleep on it and put some kinks and corks to it and hopefully come up with something totally different than what I speak of here. While I await my love to return back to her queendom lol I’ll ponder off to bed until she walks in probably drunk and smelling like booze, no pun just one of our many inside jokes. I Still want me a blizzard from dairy queen now that I tasted her’s and she got irritated with me having 2 bites, maybe big bites out of it. Oh well I know not to ask of anything in the future…Just either get it myself or just do not get it at fucking all…until next blog…without the hiatus…Laterz people