The Endgame Of 4th Quarter.

First off HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL!! I know it has been a minute since I have blogged, well its due to a lot of things going been going on and changed. I mean everything since the month of November has pretty much been all types of shitty, from my relationship going from sugar to shit. To me losing the woman I loved more than life it self, even though I was mad deep and far beyond attached. I am trying not to go in to the details, but shit go thru the day I went thru to end the year. Anywhom I lost my job to end my year, which I am beyond pissed about. Since December 12th 2009 my life basically became torn to shit, like everything was beyond torn to shit. I lose the woman I loved, then I lose what piece of love that I assumed love me. Lost one the other person whom I thought was closer than all women I've dealt with, I mean shit I was thrown under the bus in many of ways. Did anyone care? No, Should anyone care? No...Do I want them to care? Yes/No, I feel like I've been shitted on in the worse way. 2009 was full of everything from high love to death. Recovery came, in the form of another woman. Ajene...I do want it to be known that I still love this woman as far everything else goes, and that is based off of the conversations we've both had. The pact we made, YES!! I violated in the worst way, I swore after I admitted it that we were on the road to redemption. Then it came crashing down and now has me shook beyond the core. Let it be known She does not even trust me anymore as if I've changed or something, it hurts to be mislead by 2 women within the same month or be used one minute then thrown out the next. I've really tryed and things had looked up in promising ever since Mary was called home, then this...
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I mean let's just say this, I want a lot of things or wanted a lot of things. Will I or have I gotten them? No, Will I get them? Fuck no! Also my skullcandy's are beyond broken. So what else could've possibly have gone wrong? I do not know and glad I did not know or find out. All I want is to not end up in the fucking Homeless shelter, which is more than likely the place I'll have to turn to before I get my own ever again. I'll be damned to head that road and trying my damnedest to avoid it, but fuck it you all have exactly what you all want. Enjoy it...bask in it...fuck in it...All I want is to lay within my bed and let it all go away from the time being. Then again my bed...I do not even want to talk about that, Only one person from my side of the fence knows of that. An that is ty, and her own bff so let's just leave it at that.
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I got the woman who threw it all away, her skullcandy's she wanted along with a hallmark card. With a heartfelt message, which went unacknowledged and probably thrown away. All of my questions were not answered, and probably never will so as of now I've thrown the towel in... I would love to say more and go on and on...about it but it would be pointless and considered bitching, So i'll just stick to what I've been doing and that's keeping quiet about everything. So b4 I end this blog finally for 2009 and hopefully be able to return to this blog eventually. I did a fill in the sentences for you all to read if there are any readers. That'll eventually be posted, outside of that I managed to spend bringing in the new year with Ty, Chicky wing and mommy everyone else. Despite Egan's similar end to his relationship that hit home with me, it was basically me and Ajene without the other person involved. Even though all is at an all times worse for me and yet I attempted to try and maintain I just hope it does not have to come down to me going to a homeless shelter,which is more than likely what'll it'll come to. Anyway I am done ranting for now, hopefully things will be better in 200nRay, Lol got to keep some what of a sense a humor. and for that someone who reads shit and it is not posted. You should fucking read what has not been posted that should've been posted.
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Why Me? Why Am I Overthinking Again, Women Have Betrayed Me In The Worst Way....
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...really...all I want is to love someone...and for them to love me back the same...fuck all these temporary relationships...random bitches...supposed "babys" and "boos"...rt...say what the fuck you want...I never care...I'm just so tired...I am...And she was the one who i thought loved me back

To Be Fucked...

Is Me...Look at the facebook picture...Simple and flat...Farewell Til further notice blog world. hope you all miss me...If not I wont be mad either.

2 A.M.

I’ll label this on “2 A.m.” since it just so happens to be the time while I’m doing this, any whom I miss the everyday blog world. Then again I despise it since I was blogging everyday of one the most depressing as moments of my entire existence, but that is not why I am blogging at the moment. I just wanted to reflect on my day while in the office (On the toilet), which is one of the most refreshing mind freeing things I’ve should’ve been up on lol. Which was up and down by the way, I got to see my manz Chick Wigity (Chicky Wing) and Ty along with Britt. Great lil time with them especially with my manz Chicky, other than that being the highlight of my day I came across some more music I’m diggin’ and will have to listen to more often. Jim Jones & DJ Webstar’s “The Rooftop” is dope I finally got Teyana Taylor’s (HARLEM STAND UP!!!) “A Planet Called Harlem” mixtape which is what I’ve been expecting to get, and seeing my love Ajene attitude and all since she came in Irritated for whatever reasons I know not of. I believe it is because of me and minor other things, then again it could not be about me but I fairly do believe it is because of me mostly given something we talked about earlier. I am sitting here in my chair now as I type this as she sleeps, lord knows I love this woman more than a lot of things in this fucked up world and seeing the end of us would be another shock to my world and heart. Given me blogging about this will probably piss some of my readers off but I say again I spill my soul and then some on this fucking blog, not for the sake of you to read or see if your life is better and or worse but for my own well being as an outlet when I do not have my bro’s or my lady as you see. I mean deadass though I am still hurt over the things that have been said throughout a conversation earlier, I would rather get lost than have her feeling such a way. Seeing as the whole “Cramping” or “smothering” someone with my love and affection…hell it could be my presence but I would rather go get lost for the duration of her to have her space, hell if need be I’ll go to my godparents or my grandmothers…shit if drastic measures had to be taken I’d go spend the evening in a park or homeless shelter. Now {Pause} some will probably take those last statements out of proportion, but it is not to be taken lightly or too heavily. Do understand me and what I say, those are just my thoughts and or possible things I am willing to do and or go for just for the one I love and cherish. I just want everything to be perfect; even though nothing is ever perfect I aim to strive for it. Can you blame me for it? The fuck is wrong with that? I enjoy every lasting moment we share as if it could come crashing down at any given moment, I believe in my heart it will not but it has been a proven fact that what I feel in my heart is not what will happen in reality. I’m used to it but I will continue to strive and fight to keep it alive, even though I’m speaking as if things are on bad terms when it is not. Just a few bumps in the road to the promise land which is I feel like I’m already there every day, I refuse to be pushed out of heaven again…Yeah I said again since I was forced out the first time and I snuck back in through the back door, call me “Mr. The Special Uninvited Guest”. Oh Yeah! I’m also pissed at the fact I didn’t even receive another homecoming hug or kiss, but given she was and probably will still be irritated when she reads this probably will not land me one. Oh well I’ll get it eventually, I cannot stress enough how happy and content I am or how happy and content I think I make you. Given the last few days have not shown any progress in anyway but I have yet to give up hope though, well this will conclude my rant of the day or my 2 A.m. shit I had plans on doing. I could keep going but I’m sleepy from laying next to her without her even laying or touching me and vice versa, which is hard to believe in the midst of me being lost in the ipod once I hopped out the shower. She didn’t say nothing to me or attempted to tell me she love me but that’s it so laters people…

Let's Start The Show

It’s been a while America has it not? I know I’m sorry it has been such a while since my last blog, if it has been that long. I’ve been quite busy I’ve started work and it is going well by the way, other than that I’ve endured a few bumps in my road. What road does not have bumps in it? Right, I thought so…any whom me and the Mrs. have been doing well despite the little bumps we had when one another had “one of those days” nah mean? I’ve stumbled across more music from some of my Fav rappers so I’m like deadass Od’n on them as much as possible. My bro’s doing str8 despite one of our own (No names given) has fallen to legal troubles, just know it is not one of the bro’s FYI but hold ya head ma we’re trying to do as much as possible. With what little contribution I can add I’ll damn sure try, my Mrs. Has yet to return to her home and I am beginning to become a tad worried, I’ll handle that if it gets out of hand. Let’s just hope it does not have to come to that, Umm my grandmother still hounding me about her typical shit as always. Myself & my mother still are not really on good terms given she’s been kissing ole dude ass for the longest, I have not had contact with my god parents after finding out there were some more underlying things said or sneak jabs thrown at me and more so my crew. So I’ve like not bothered thinking of confronting it, even though I would like to but it would not do shit but make more shit than needed so I’ll leave it at that and let that go.
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Tuesday was a ok day besides the after effect, We did our typical routine of hooping after like 2 or 3 weeks of not going do to us search or having found jobs. So we were kind of out of the loop, even though it damn sure did not feel like it, hell even E came down with his girlfriend and enjoyed what little time we did get to kick it with one another. Even though that nigga like played me to the left but I’ll just let that go, outside of that I’ve spoken with Tuna P. She’s been good she’ll be home and even threw up a few update blogs while at it, I’m proud of her and told her she’d overcome the mini trials and tribulations she was going through. Cannot wait to see my nigga Tuna P when she get home Big Bro stay waiting for your return, Outside of that I have not seen my lil man Chicky wing in a while I deadass miss my lil dude. I haven’t seen him since the last time me and his pops had hit the gym before we took our hiatus from it, we’re over due to meet again lil daddy unc misses you and loves you much. I haven’t spoken to his mother/my supposed lil sister in a while, I had a high attitude with her but I’ve long gotten over it because of her last name and the track record that has long grown behind it nah mean?
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Now on to the main…well not main but one of the actual reason’s I’ve decided to arise from my blog hiatus, I stay talking to Ty as always. That should go without say and we seem to stay in some shit together, Lol that’s what’s brothers are for right? Any whom but he did text me asking me a befuddling question and I’m still attempting to fathom a non-confusing answer for him, and we see how that is going now that I am sitting here pondering as I blog. The more I rack my brain around this I believe I realize I just might come up with a solution to his question, one for him to understand but I’ll sleep on it and put some kinks and corks to it and hopefully come up with something totally different than what I speak of here. While I await my love to return back to her queendom lol I’ll ponder off to bed until she walks in probably drunk and smelling like booze, no pun just one of our many inside jokes. I Still want me a blizzard from dairy queen now that I tasted her’s and she got irritated with me having 2 bites, maybe big bites out of it. Oh well I know not to ask of anything in the future…Just either get it myself or just do not get it at fucking all…until next blog…without the hiatus…Laterz people

The Odd Nigga Out

The odd nigga out, I mean today was a pretty…well not so pretty day for me. Not only will this blog be posted probably some days after this date which it was written, It is 10/29/09 by the way I’ll probably look back on this blog as one of the most monumental days where it was I felt like the bottom of the bottom. Could it be the fact I have yet to start my job? Maybe it could be the question’s my love asked me still remain in the back of my head, which makes me feel even less of a person or probably a great boyfriend or love. Whichever you prefer to label it, Then my grandmother constantly bitchin’ and or making me feel more of the reason I am between the bickering that goes one between the woman who birthed me and the woman who birthed her. It does not make it any better that I caught wind that my little brother witnessed a person get completely ran over by a truck, that kinda pissed me off to know that but also put me at ease that nothing negative happen to the nigga. I’m slowly beginning to wish all of these emotions will like sub-side before I slip into some sort of depression (Again!), like I love how everything is going minus a few bumps and scrapes nah mean? Outside of that, there is nothing really plaguing me besides the main event of my day that kind of really like destroyed my feelings, I haven’t seen mommy in a grip which meant I felt overdue for a visit and it just so happened Ty. Had impeccable timing I got to kick it with him for a bit, see my manz Chick Wigity TuFli but mommy caught a attitude with me as if I did something wrong. Which was not complete the task she asked of me, nonetheless Ty did do it and it may not have been, but that is the “Trial & Error” aspect of giving someone a shot at something you believed them not capable of them doing. Outside of that I still feel some hostility between me and Brittany which I could care less about at this point, I would love for it to be nonexistent but oh well that is just part of the territory.
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I am like having the wildest craving for some junk food or some wing dings, I cannot wait until I begin getting money as I work so I can like handle the things I want to as a male or as a man some would say. I still believe “Good Things Come To Those Who Wait” even though I believe I’ve ran out of patience, I still hope everything falls into place or something picks my mood up even though Ajene will be attempting to take my “Box” after I get done with this blog. Other than that I miss my nigga Tuna P (Boogie) atleast when she was here before she left I knew I could call the nigga and talk to her unlike the other person who I call my “Lil Sista”, That’s all I want to go in on as far as that goes. That’s another blog for another day, I just want everything back to how it was before people left and money, Ego’s, and car’s, courts and shit got involved. I guess I am just wishing for the impossible when I say that not only due to to the things and the decisions that were made, but then again everything happens for reason or Treason? <~~ just something for you to ponder on while reading this blog, I had the feeling after Ty went on to class I just wanted to be alone with my sweetie. Like deadass though, I enjoy all of my brothers company and know it’s well needed but everyone is off doing their own thing which is always a plus but it has been a minute before we were all in the same place at the same time. I assume I miss that and wish for it to happen again but do not know where to start or have it happen, I would love for all of us and our love ladies in our life to go out but Chris would not bring Jenniva. Ty would bring probably bring Britt or someone else , Egan would find a way to wiggle out of it unshaved so he would not have to be badgered about who he would have had to bring…or he would come alone. I would be content with it being myself, Ty, Ajene, Chicky Wing, and maybe Britt if she ever comes off of that high fucking horse of hers. Until then I’m dreaming on the lost and not bound to happen. Well that completes this blog my lady went and hit the shower, I assume because of my mood but its nothing against her it never is. She’ll be banging my box soon enough so everything will be ok hopefully….Night yall…

Tell Ya Friends Your Ok, Your Just Chillin Wit Me...Have A Drink Its On Me

Umm my fucking right hand is tingling in the worst way as I type this, I’m kinda better right now so let’s jump in. Today was not the best of days for some reason; I honestly do not know why things were slow. I slept most of the day away and feeling beyond low, which is not like me and it’s fucked up when my love took notice and constantly reminded me. Not that it was anything wrong with that I did make her aware of my ways for feeling such a way, and she reminded me about why I shouldn’t feel that particular way. Which I am totally glad that is why I love and or her being present in my life is for, other than that my foul mood came with the fact my grandmother came calling and interrogating me on someone else’s life. Which I do not have a problem with long as she are going through the right channels to do this, don’t come to me flinging outrageous questions at me about where this person stayed and or their address for a lot of reasons. I mean like she came hounding me as if I am to be her personal information seeker like I’m supposed to involve myself in someone else’s business, that does not include those of the Fam (ilia) Royale Administration. Other than that was pretty much the reasoning behind my foul mood, so this blog wont turn out to be as long as I intended for it to be. I cant wait to get to work, my bloodthirst for my own money and hustle again is beginning to pique. I refuse to be let down, or let others around me down unlike some folk I have a crew I have to get busy for. I have a clique of brothers and sister I have to get busy for, I have my Chicky wing I have to get busy for. Ajene is whom I get busy for, Ty, Alicia,Kobe, Bitty, NaeNae,Tuna P, B Howze ole dumbass. The list goes on forever and I refuse to be let down even if some people on my list do not give me the respect I deserve or earned, that’s all good though I’ll continue to take it by force and make you understand. That’s my rant for the day…P.S. I still protect you until my very last breath no matter how this turns out…I Love You. She’ll read this when she awakes or sooner or later, Thank you for everything.
“AZ – I Just Wanna Be There.” Youtube This Song…..

Unsung Woes

The unsung hero…I that’s like been one of my major thoughts throughout the day, like I was really kickin’ back and thinking of my past personal accomplishments. I can honestly say that I’ve done a lot rather it was for me or the betterment of others, even though it may sound as if I am gassing myself up or something of that caliber I assume that is the humble asshole speaking inside of me. Outside of that I was thinking about someone claiming that “Rick is too nice”, which wouldn’t normally be a problem if you knew me and why I decide to reveal that side of me. Given that person did not know me on any possible mutual level to say that it made that female sound quite fucking stupid, but I am not to knock her in the least bit. Just if you are to pre-judge someone based on little to no interaction that would make whatever you would have to judge or think kind of irrelevant correct? Or am I just jumping the gun or something? Then again I could care less so does that make me just as fucked up that person? Oh well, moving along I haven’t blogged in a while given I’ve been ass cheeks deep under my gf. Which is always a great thing but I do not want to seem as if I’m smothering her with myself or such, last time I tried that..That backfired terribly. Any whom the day went by smoothly given the lil episode I refuse to speak on, only bad thing was Chris had gotten into a car accident. My lil dun is str8, and so is Chris so all is wel and not many more worries are burdening me for now.
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The other reason for this blog is because of what was said to me earlier on this past Tuesday, and that was someone I considered a great person/friend in my inner circle. She referred to me as spiteful and bitter, shows how much she know when and one point and time she was my right hand in reference to the women I dealt with. That was before she ended up getting sexed up, I’m not even going to go in on that particular time. Moving along she was quite smart we happened to have been there for her in times of need over and over again, but you cannot simply just put all your eggs in one basket. Which was simply my mistake little did she know I was there to protect her from shit that was said or shit she had got entangled in, but I simply know I will not miss the friendship but the bond we had and cherished memories. Going off into another part of the day, Umm I really haven’t heard from Ty TuFli and Chick wiggity. Kind of pissed about that, I heard from Egan (you’re a bad dude sir) we politicked for a minute he was supposed to call me back. I’m beginning to think that my job will continue to prolong the finale of this hiring process, rather it is to conclude in my hiring or not being hired even though we all know I hope for the best.
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Umm haven’t heard from Tuna P in a day or 2, might be busy with band and classes I assume. Other than that wasn’t much out of order, besides Ladana hittin’ me up on my FB wall. That my homie not only because she’s a fellow Pisces, but because if she brightens up a tad more she’d be going further in life. Charmaine kind of lifted my spirits in telling me I’m not “Too nice” hell, I say again if you tell me something consistently over and over again I’m bound to begin believing you. That just goes to show it is not hard to hurt me, but long as you attempt to keep it honest with me you can heal and hurt me at the same time. I am the only one that can kill me, you might not understand where I got it from but if you do thank you. Until next time people I’m off to the stars.

Bk STAND UP!!!!

I Just not got a chance to watch
Loso's Way...Since It Is One Of My Fav Top 5 Dead Or Alive....
Fav Borough Still Harlem World..Nigga Wat It Look Like...
For Now...Its Ty's Fav Borough Bed Stuy Bitch...Fabolous Wat It Look like...

Harlem Boi Feels Left Out Of It...

So yes, I managed to get my hair braided finally like I set out to do. I deadass got the 2 fishbone braids I've been hoping to get, only downside is I dont have a line up and I have to eventually get my split ends clipped. I'm scared to like clip my ends on some honest shit, the more I contemplate it the more I just might have to do it nah mean? other than that my day has been lagging since I had to rush from Jessica's spot (the chich whom braids my hair) to my grandmother's home. To sit with my lil cousin while grandma and my aunt head to the ER, I hope everything is everything with my grandmother. I may not like the woman most times but I honestly cannot deal with 2 funerals within the same year, but let me not go in on that topic I'll move to something else. Ummm tomorrow is suppose to be the day I get the call to start work (Hopefully) and be on and rising, doing something positive and continuing to become something someone swore I'd never be. I kept telling people not to sleep on me, But hey you cant make those believe who do not want to believe nah mean?
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Ummm outside of that I was thinking about my gf, in reference to the lil situation that pissed her off. Yet again I really do not intend to piss no one off, and hope that it never happens again. Every time something pops off it simply reminds me of a similar situation I had dealt with, I mean its totally different yet I just do not want to do or touch anything to make this relationship falter. There is nothing worse than making a relationship falter, its the 2nd worst feeling to hearing a supposed love of your life is not pregnant (Someone will try to shit on me about that). I'm just trying to clear my head since I am sitting here lost in thought of alil of everything from work, To this Fli Life (Relationship and all) will not come to an end. I swear I keep telling myself I do not understand what it is about me that can be extremely willing to risk all no matter the cause just to see a relationship I personally enjoy see another day, and now since I've been with Ajene I feel like I am more than obliged to protect her @ any given cost. Just like I told myself with that last person I was with, I just want to see and enjoy her smile and keep her happy.
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I call myself doing that in the previous relationship, but I know given alot of shit that did not go right or be told lead to different reasons of that downfall. Especially the fact there was lil to no faith in me, even to see me succeed. I'ma stop while I'm ahead before I put myself back into a mental state of hurt or slight depression knowing I had pissed my love off, I do not know where I got that from but its best I stop while I'm ahead. So moving on, I swear I wish i could be heading back to the apt. I just wanna lay in peace and enjoy her company, I dont mean to sound cakey but hey. I do enjoy when she lays her head on my back. or falls asleep laying her head on my back, or just cuddling with her in the bed not having to worry about being told "move the fuck over" or anything else of that nature.I enjoy the fact we can just lay up and converse about any and everything, right along with the fact I enjoy her music as much as she enjoys mine. Without worry of having to be snapped on, I mean it may sound like I'm bashin someone or throwing them under the bus when I'm not. Just simply making note and known of what I really do enjoy of this woman, I dead ass enjoy her beauty to a point it cannot even be put into words...
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I feel out of it today, which was pretty much the point of this blog but so happened to turn into something else. Hey but then again creation today, I was left out of it. Damn...left out of it....Anywhom I'm off to browse the web until its time to get ghost so...laters...

Ratatat!!!

Hyyer!! That is like one of my fav joints off of that album, If you do not know what album I speak of you better ask someone. Today was a slow yet busy day; I hit the gym with Edwardo this past afternoon. Had somewhat of a decent run along with the 10 people whom were present, afterwards I made it back home to be left in limbo if the Mrs. Was coming back to her queendom ( I was shot down mind you it is 10:12pm), So I feel let down given I just like had a complete urge to blog. Since it seems like shit just will or won’t go right for me for some odd reason, I’m left to talk to Ty which is always a great thing it keeps our path of communication flowing like a river with a smooth current. The typical women I have great conversation with are nowhere to be found; Jeanette is probably still working or probably asleep early. LaLa is out chasing dick…I take that back I find funny how soon as I type her name she text’s me, Kellee is probably being in the hood somewhere. Ajene the most important woman is probably sleeping soundly or still conversing with her father, Ty is playing the game or getting some box. I would go holla @ Q (Ajene’s bestfriend) but honestly outside of seeing her when I am with Ajene I try not to really float around Q, Its not like I wouldn’t mind hanging with her I just assume that is one of those unspoken/unwritten boundaries you do not want to cross nah mean?
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Outside of that someone believes I was wronged from a past relationship and wants to make amends for it, I do feel once you wrong someone rather they had it coming or not depending on the degree you wronged them. You should not want to warrant another go around because of that person could still be upset that they were wronged and was aware of it while it happened and yet still kicked and scratched to the very bitter end, and was not rewarded with what that person wanted at that time and being in chronic belief that it would never happen again I personally sought out comfort and love in other arms. Lucked up and found more than that in Ajene, but with me typing this I am liable to make some shit worse and make some things better this is just thoughts in my mind while I’m smacked soberly intoxicating my blog with potent words of love/hatred. I am at a limbo for fiending for affection knowing sweetest day is tomorrow, and my misses is nowhere to be found besides probably in her bed sound asleep.
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Umm other than that I still am like pissed I am texting LaLa as I write this and still in need of direct comfort from my love, is that a bad sign? I hope not. Then again it may not be just shows how much devotion or dedication I have to her, or maybe I’m just a terrible boyfriend…Lmao but deadass though, If I am a terrible boyfriend what is my husband rating or husband resume looking like? See this is why I need not to be listening to “Well Isnt This Awkward?” while gettin smacked on a blog. This is some total bs I would be browsing the net in search of some flick scenes from my fav porn star’s Kitten, Angel Eyes, Jada Fire, Or Beauty Dior, But I already said the net is to be used in increment’s. So yet I am here on Microsoft word blogging my life and erect penis away, bullshit right? Anywhom I am about ready to like blow a wad on someone’s cheeks, Let me chill and fallback off the sex talk. I’ma just continue to enjoy the music I’m bangin in hopes of my love calling me back, and or bang some Chuck Hamilton and read my book. I re iterate the book I am reading is titled “Velocity” by Dean Koontz great book so far, even though I am like in “porn on pages mode” I want a Zane book to read but I strayed away from those books for a great reason. Anywhom starchasers its your boy Sincere Hamilton/Sincere Hamalades Off to the stars again. If anything new pops up you’ll see a new blog…Beaming up to scotty’s pad for the night…

Just Self Kept Time In My Mind

Umm am I a fuck up? Or just someone who does things that one may not be pleased with? That is just one of the many questions I ask myself day in and day out, I never come up with the right or wrong answer so I ask again why I should be thinking about that in the first place. Any whom today was a ok day me and the love went to CVS to grab a few household products, I did not want to blog this out but given the text message that had yet to be answered caused that series of questions/daily thoughts ya know? Then after we hit up CVS my mother finally showed her face to help me go grab a few more things to toss into the fridge, she bitched as always but I assume it was because of her pulled muscle in her arm or whatever is wrong with her left wing (arm). Outside of that I did get a chance to see my youngest cousin Courtney, she had gotten her tonsils removed this past Tuesday she seems like she is handling the healing process well. Even though I found out they cut out the whole”ice-cream” thing after the process, Um I seen my aunt Cora and had great mini-conversation along with that. Other than that I found a cool look Dean Koontz book to read called “Velocity” it is cool thus far, Outside of that I’ve been kinda self kept. Where the fuck is Ty Tufli @? On days like this we usually have us a great in depth conversation; then again he did call me earlier while I was sleep so that could be the missed opportunity. Damn it! Lol deadass though that opportunity will present itself again b4 the night is over with. I Hope…
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Other than that I’ve been pondering work Monday, also kind of hurt my kicks had to be returned. Due to the wrong size but hey it’s cool though, I’ll see them again sooner than I think. I’ve been pondering other things I’ve yet made clear to my love, which are typical things… If I’ll succeed at work, or will I even start you know? Just typical jitter bugs I assume so when you read this don’t press spacebar and flip on me. I love you though like deadass tuff, Other than that she did answer my text message back in the process of me typing this blog. Just to clear that up and get that out the way, I got a chance to briefly get @ boogie earlier lol my nigga Tuna P (Tunapuna) but had to hit her back later since at that time I was out with my mother and moving things. So if and when you see this Tuna P (Boogie) I didn’t forget about you on purpose kiddo, I was busy no pun intended love. Umm I did receive a few other calls the were out of the ordinary, well at least for me…The first came from Charmaine, which is one of my bro’s Gf. Who hit me up out the random, now mind you I do not really talk to her like that. Given we have been having more serious caliber conversations from time to time, about her and his relationship. I try to answer whatever questions she may have to the best of my ability, but I do not have certain answers for her given most people would take that as it being a cover-up for my bro’s. In most cases it is far from it but not a lot of the females we deal with or are connected with understand that in the least bit, they just paint me off as the dude that just “ride or die” and would lie for my brothers at any given chance. Which is true but that is another blog for another day nah mean?
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I’m planning on just slowly falling off the scene now Me and Ty tufli have jobs now, It does not take much to appease me or keep me happy as hell. I’m beyond that when I’m with my Gf and knowing I have a roof over my dome and a bed to sleep in, when I honestly foreseen me being on the street (again) back in the dark emo shit I used to dwell in. I’m not about to go in on that, Lol it sparked a dying moment and I’m trying to keep it high spirited for great reason. Even though it may seem I am blabbering again, if I am…OH FUCKIN WELL!! You shouldn’t have come to this blog anyway, go download some shit or play cyber sex games. Sweetie’s day is still on the prowl and coming closer, what am I to do? It was posed we have a complete sex fest. Which I’m down for but I know she’ll drain me and probably end up pregnant (LMAO!!), Ty gets what I’m saying with that said. Um besides that I am trying to figure out what form of entertainment I could possibly have or get until I get a gaming system in my life again since I passed off the 360 to Ty, I’m beyond bored and hate it I don’t even have no cable to watch and that would be like the last resort thing to do. All I have until I begin working is CH, this netbook with limited internet (I need not to run up any bills I do not pay). I had more than enough trouble with that even when I was not the one running up the bills, so that is why I only rely on a gaming system. Even then if it is not mines I’ll less likely pick it up. Since people have a nature to make a bold statement claiming it’s theirs as if they are a dog pissing on a tree dig me? So with that said I really try to stay off of this netbook since it is not mine, with no pun being shot at its owner I just had my run with people who are beyond tight about their electronics. <~~~with that last line someone is bound to IM me about that, just like earlier which that nigga never answered my question about why she feels I am raging war on her life. <~~~yet again this will be another topic of discussion with that said, Am I not full of attention seeking lines? This is why I shall end thie blog some time soon.
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For the record again my blogs are pre-typed since the internet is to be used in increments, and I would hate to have my gf trying to thrash me so I do type these on Microsoft word b4 hand. I post them and log right the fuck back off, once I am financially sound enough to cop my own laptop and/or internet connection to roll with it then we’d be back up and running so until then. Love me, love Mexican food and anime…Laterz… KeepIt Harlem

Encore...

Ight deadass though, now by time this blog will be posted. Let alone hit the net, I’ll Probably have others up since I am typing this on Microsoft word VIA no net connection. Today was a lil above average nah mean? I got a chance to hang with Jessica (The chick who braids my hair for me), it’s not often I get a chance to venture out and hang with her outside of her being my “Hairdresser” She’s mad cool though. Best friend potential she got a chance to meet Mrs. Ray, They did not get a chance to sit and parlay but they did get introduced since they happen to live less than a mile away from one another. She also got the chance to meet Chris, they kicked it for a bit but not on no “Let’s see who this chick is who braids my bro hair” type shit. Don’t know why I expected Chris to, but then again he can be one to surprise.
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Now to kinda sidetrack for a minute it is not in my character to address inner circle problems publicly, But to Brittany Howze I would like to let it be known that text you received from Ty. In reference to that pot he asked your stupid ass to clean, You didn’t have to text me back with that bitch made attitude. Then along with the other insults and ignorant things of a kin to “Howze” you said behind that was not called for, Let alone the other things that were sent back from my end. For you to take your whack ass attitude out on me because the text wasn’t received until late is not my problem in the least bit, I do not work for fucking T-mobile and you had no right to even attempt to explode on me because of your ass being mad at Ty for whatever fucking reason you decided to blow up. Other than that you are very incompetent (If u know what that means), and when you decide to actually open your damn mind then we can chat and patch this up. I still love you as you are my lil sister but that stupid shit was not called for you whack nigga.
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On to other orders of business now I’ve cleared that up for the dumb people (Niggaz), I received my Dunks today I’m deadass happy about about that. Only downfall is I have to go up a Half size or str8 to a 12, Which is not much of a problem I just hope that I am able to start work on Monday October 19th (My kid brother “Bitty’s” 14th Bday). Damn big bro is getting old watching his babies grow up, Kobe will be 5, Lyandra will be 5 next year, Frank will be 4 Next year, NaeNae Will be 13…Damn that’s alil too much man. Oh!! While I’m thinking of it, Jessica Leavell Tunapuna ass nigga you did not return my call you band boot lickin’ ass crab. I oughta Bust your fuckin head, moving on Umm Mrs Ray…I’m awating your return so this is while I am bloggin’. Ty TuFli didn’t call me when he got off work, If he is off work black bastard. Umm other than that there are nothing more major to cover and or blog about, besides November is coming up so that mean’s I will get back to my every Rick Ray’s Ex Girlfriends Nightmare series soon. Yeah, I know I have taken more than an “Extended break” with that but you all did live through that situation with me. Only because of my ex asking me I believe about 2-3 months ago about what could or would be said within her blog when her name is called, She has somewhat of a general idea, Then again its probably so far off base that I may not even know what I am Liable to say.
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I will say this though while I have spoken to a few sources close to me while I was cookin up some shit for her, I will be droppin pictures of certain points throughout our relationship throughout the months we were together. Now some will read this and think “Why is he acknowledging his Ex so much? Don’t that nigga have a new gf or wifey?”. To answer one of your questions, Why yes I do and I’ve mentioned her name throughout many of blogs. In reference to why the Ex gets this treatment? Is to lead up to answering her supposed questions, or maybe to piss the nigga off even more since I felt I was slated…Well know I was slated. I intend to extract something out of her, what could it be? If I only knew, I do know I have evoke the worst side of that nigga throughout our course of what was once a relationship. So I do know one thing if I know no other about that nigga, I can get completely under her skin and push her beyond her own mental limits or expectations when it comes to antagonizing her like no other. I Stand by that and very willingly admit (Don’t mind this word, even though I said I would never call you one directly) that the bitch can damn sure get under my own skin just as well as I’ve did hers.
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Mrs Zeigler-Ray, however you want to put it or word it. I love you, you set my soul and then some on fire. It is not a little spark but a roaring flame deadass though, I appreciate every little thing that you do and do not do. Not saying there are things you do not do, but you do get the picture correct? I hope you do, outside of that umm if your still reading this emotion I spill onto this blog I thank you. If you made it this far and do not relate nigga it’s the internet go download some porn or music or something bastard. Other than the I’m pretty much done, just blabbin off at the fingers since I was in the mood to type and I’ve had not done a very elaborative blog in a while so just to let you know I’m god with and extra O (Just some shit for you to get mad @ just because) So now you’re here on my blog, You’ve came home with me. Dig? Other than that shouts to Fam(ilia) Royale…Ty, E (You Bitch U Aint Call Me back),Chris, Felicia, Angel…Chicky Wing Tufli….Boogie (AKA Tunapuna) Umm anyone I managed to forget..I didn’t do it on purpose…I’m out on to the next blog…And to the Person Ex, You left me when I was out of it and you’re a fool for what your doing and or whom your with. He may be better than me physically but not mentally, He’s pussy with no tampon. That’s the “Rick Ray” shit I be talking about…oh and a Random thing this blog no was 1,189 words .

Thank Me Later After You Leave Me...

this blog title might or might not hsve much of snything to do while I type this on the shitter, snyehom it eas a busy weekend and yet hell filled after coming to a few more realizations. Given I do not particularky care for masny of my supposed godmother's relatives, I came to the conclusion that the older I get the more I can no longer stand those who knew me when I was younger. Only due to the fact of how shit has been playin' out since June 6th 2009 (R.I.P. Mary), I mean we all knew this was coming and I'm going a tad soft while typing this with tears of anger and of release I guess. I just want those to come home with me (Enter Random Show Tufli Mixtape Track Here), I'm glad I finally made the transition of moving from the old stomping grounds to the new place with new memories to live on with. It's hard to believe it was a year since I had moved there...
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September is what made it a year for me, And if I would've known that this was bound to happen and I mean everything that happened terrible. I would've remained in southfield, Like deadass Life may not have been better or worse but still. I Set back the other day while riding back to my godfathers pad, And came to the realization I stated above. Along with the fact I have a forever growing hatred for those who either have not seen or dealt with me in years, attempt to treat you like you were the same age you were last time they seen you. My godfather...well more so godparents refer to me as their "eldest son", and back in March I probably would've been elated. Now it like pissed me off to another extent, I assume because of the last 2 weeks things with supposed people aint never been the same. Other reasons included, I would go into detail but you know how certain people are...They do not want you to put their "biz out there" , So we'll move on But if you happen to read this blog. The title is for you...marinate on that...Other than that i gotta book out so laterz folk

Chill....

I have had a mediocre day, none the less it did start off super slow. As always it picked up thanks to Ajene, I was able to move my things like we had set out to along with a few other things left behind. I do hope to finish that off tomorrow or sometime soon, Also I talked to the chick at this job I am trying to land in hopes of getting a interview tomorrow and hopefully a hire in. I mean like digz I would love to get a job and begin working, I really do miss working and the fact of helpin' folk and just earning my own money. Hopefully I can and will manage my money better, with the help of her I believe I can do anything. Along with hopes of getting my ipod sometime in the near future if my supposed god-parents do not fuck me in the process like they are known to.
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I'm sittin here texting Ajene as you probably read this but outside of that, I am bangin that Show Tufli "Come Home With Me" Mixtape. Gr8 tunes and one of them set of tracks I bang that gets me by, Plus their from my favorite city in the world...HARLEM WORLDBITCH!!!!!!!! I Am Harlem-American Bitch Wat It Look Like...Outside of that I'm just in deep thought of the things I deal with day to day, also the conversation I've had with Ajene my sweetie. I swear to side track for a quick sec, I Love her to the utmost and it continues to grow at a massive rate. Thank you for the faith and things you bring out in me, I hope this lasts forever this Fli Life should not come to an end anytime soon nah mean?
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Other than that Bro bro Ty has gotten a job finally, so we on the road up to another level.Boogie hold ya head ma, everything will remain okay no need to spazz out your just catching a lil hell for the things...And to my Ex You seemed to hate me ever so much and I've been every name in the book, lil did you know I remained true to the things i first said to you...And u seemed not to respect or knowledge the fact I honored that over anything...And protected you...So U couldnt respect that and called my hustle whach so hopefully when I faded to black you reflect upon the positive things instead of the bad things...

This Is Why I Remain Fuckin' Evil To People...

Who I Used To Be Like Cool With...
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People let dick and pussy goes to their domes, Like seriously that not only pissed me off in the slightest. It just feels like people slight themselves out of friendships because of some dick/pussy gone str8 to their head, Like I want to go off on a loud yet aggravating rant...But I've done enough of that for one day and possibly just had more than enough, seriously like afterwhile if people start apologizing or asking forgiveness. Will not get it, No sir not at all it may be wrong to give it or even fathom that thought. I am deadass tired of that because I get slighted every chance I get, I'm glad it paid off with Ajene being in my life. Even though I felt I was slighted this whole year over people choosing other people or working out a balance of people, but hey who the fuck am I to care anymore? I just simply hate taking losses.....And yet again I'll bang my Anthem as I leave you with the reading above.
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If I was on some ole "Lift Skirts To Exposes The Pussies Or Tampon String" You bitches or Niggaz Have I'd Be a real Whack Dude now wouldnt I? It's completely cool though, This war is not nor really over or close to it. I will be leaving the hallways of everyone's mind, FOR GOOD!!!! So no one will have to worry about me nor will the ones I talk to on a day in day out basis, It'll make everyone happy wont it? I'm pretty sure it will....And If Anyone ever cares to know you should find me here talkin' amongst myself on my own blog...

Just Look Through My Eye's...

I Just want to kick back, And hopefully lay in pastures of green paved ways. I mean it may not sound understandable, But believe you...me I really want this job interview to come and land the job afterwards. Me & Ty spoke about just wanting to work, I mean of course Who does not want to work? Especially @ a place you would love to go to. BTW I'm browsing for my Ipod and bright Yellow Supra's, Since someone...Nah I Aint even going to go there, I am determined to land those Bright yellow jawns like I've planning to since last year in Nov or December. Anywhom I'm to be moving shit right now but given alot of things or having to depend on someone else's schedule, Like really pisses me off. I hate depending on others outside of my clique....For my own particular reasons but anywhom i'm off to browse my drooing love for kicks later's Dun dun's....

The Lost Tapes

There will be blog's that I have not finished being posted throughout the time of this blog, Lol like deadass there are very little I have not finished but the majority of them have been posted. So lets see how much or how far you are willing to go to get to know me, An also I've been intending to get some stickers printed up and or made up for me to post around the city in random ass spots. So just incase you see me garner a lil internet buzz dont mind me, The fake shit will not start flying I only try to post what I live, and or think or breath. So you will be able to get to know me if it is possible or just would like to see whats going on throughout someone else's life nah mean? Outside of that I'm just sitting here looking up shoe's and plottin' on getting this job thing poppin'. I did have more I would've Loved to have yapped about, But I'm off to the crib I have Shit to move....



Verse 2 Is Because of you leaving me when I was out of it, And You should understand the rest...

The Thoughts....

The more I sit here and chill while lost in thought, I find it nah right and outta sight (insider) deadass chillin' and watching the food network. Yeah, A nigga gets his fats on while laidback though. Um other than that I am still thinking praying and hoping I get this interview @ the mall, So I can possibly work there which would seem fun. Outside of the web of Deceit and networking around that I could fall into, I mean call it me thinking wild deep and more than ahead of myself but Hey! that is just flat the fuck out me. Umm other than that there is a tad more drama Amongest the Fam Royale boi's as always, what might it be? Do not ask you all know I stay tight wit the facts depending on the situation since I want to keep things in house if you catch what I am saying.
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Outside of that my lil sister has had her finger slammed in a locker on some fluke shit, And she told me herself her finger is still swollen and she cannot feel it. That has bothered me all the way to the core and its like really pissing me off, I felt like just laying my headback and letting the waterworks flow. Not to mention the little fight me and my GF had, Now do not get me wrong I love her unconditionally and I assume we've moved beyond it. Then again my supposed "Godfather" came rappin that bullshit again, And I Was deadass having a good day glad I have someone who can do more than keep my spirits beyond the sky. Nah mean!? Outside of that I'm slowly but surely hating the fact some of the tension between my crew is gettin' thick, For what reason? Cause one believes someone is always out to be in his business. When it is not like that at all, but what can you do when someone stubborn just does not listen at all?
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Other than that those are the things that was bothering me, I'm off to search for some new music to download and possibly somenew friends and shit...Lol Fam Royale Sincere Hamalades Signing Off

The Moves Closer And Closer...

So Um yea, My last blog was not the best of my blogs. With that being said everything has its ups and downs and hopefully we made it past that, Other than that I hit up fairlane yet again and hope this job lead will go a tad further than what the last one went. Outside of that Me and the lady are back in the frontseat having mad fun,other than that I could blog more but I am not really in the mood to and I'm talking to Cora right about now....Dibbs Laterz

Umm Our First Official Fight.

Umm So yeah I'm constantly calling my sweetie while here @ grandma's, and i believe the next text message I get will probably be "I Fuckin Hate You" or "It's Fuckin Over". I Deadass hope it does not come down to that, Like I do remember her asking me If I spoke to jacinta. The question about the Text's umm no, I honestly do not remember so hopefully this will not end as bad as i hope it does not. I do know this will shake her trust she has for me, probably in the worst way. So Yeah, I'ma just sit here and continue watching This "Dog The Bounty Hunter" Shit...This whack shit.

Yaow!!

Umm nothing really new to report, Besides getting back intuned with my team. Gettin real tight about how chris been acting lately, An I'm still kinda pissed I was appointed the godfather of Chris' Child Jordan. It is not much of an issue but it's been established Mon'tay "Chicky Wing" walker is my manz pots and pans, But thats about it off to play the game laterz bitch....and stop reading my blog if you do not like what is said.

The End Of A Long Day/Weekend

So umm yes, I've had a great weekend like deadass dope. Got to hang out with all my bro's and shit also my love Ajene, I just cant seem to shake the feeling she's doubting our love...Well more so not doubt but questioning, even then its not that doubt or what it may be. Outside of all that I still do love the woman, Also I continue to see my love grow even stronger even for the. Fact I look at her everytime I see her as if its my first seeing this woman again, Like I really can say I do not have to worry about looking at her and get blacked on. Or told how lame I am or whatever the case, And I'm bloggin' on the phone with her as I type this. Lol damn heffa I fuckin' love you, Print screen that in your netbook fucka. Anywhom me and her had like our ummm 2nd or 3rd Date...and Its our 2month Anniversary Maybe over by now lol but I did spend it with her) lol deadass I remembered. I'm good with dates hell I rather it be what it is than the freakin 23rd, Lol I know where that could go so I'ma hit a you turn on that. Other than that Boogie I'ma like deadass punch you in your shit, fuckin tunapuna ass nigga....other than that, this is my update I know i've been laggin on the blogs or long blogs but hey when your loving like I am you dont care about anything else...Oh Yeah Omitra I'm mad at you...if you ever read my blogs....damn jerk

Just Fall Off In The Crack

I Assume there is nothing new to report here at all, I've had a ok day out with the Bro's and shit @ fairlane. Chris got his fucking forearm tatt's of his two son's name, I do not feel he should have paid $120 for it given the letters on my scar (Tatt) are biggger, Buy hey who the fuck am I to raise a riff or ripple about it's his body not mines. I'm just waiting for the "J" to be tatted on his neck next, lol deadass though Life is so fucked up but good in my neck of the woods. Based on feeling life waits for no one she dont like right? What about life not waiting for someone who's not right? Anywhom that's my lil rant of the day, I did get to kick it with E and it was fun. Oh and b4 I forget To Q (Qulicia) I'm sorry about what happened at your job ma...It wont happen again...and shit but I'm off but remember "Fuck you and what you stand for"

Is Thinkin About Revenge...

Lol Most times I really am, Only for the fact I enjoy getting under someone's skin or fucking with their mental. Nonetheless to embarrass me you'd embarrass yourself and I'm willing to take that road how about you? And before some afrocentric neo-soul nigga out there goes in and thinks wild deep, And a suppose response blog pops up. I'll say this if you believe its about you or toward you have it, You believe what you want when you want since you believe I am this "BIG LIAR!" (Insert Afrocentric Joke Here). Outside of that I'm continuing to stay to my circle and enjoying it, even with the lil tad bit of a break down we endure. I will say this "Familia Royale Stay Tight Wat It Look Like Nigga!?", My rant of the day...oh yeah and Ya boi has lost mad weight!! Its starting to show, back down to like a 2x lol going back to a L my nigga. Deadass though and that whack nigga said I couldnt do wat? Right, exactly but its all good though no supposed "Sneak jabs" thrown this way. I'm off to go wrestle with my manz Chicky Wing,I had more to say but it'll be saved for the next blog.

Glad I Found A New Label

For what its worth, I do not have much time to post a more elaborate blog. I will say this,I am pissed but yet happy to Know the CH possibly has been separated from Interscope if it is all true. With that said it made me begin to think of that in reference to the past relationship, lol I do enjoy her conversation and love Ajene as a person and more. Very happy about it indeed, I can look at her any day and talk to her about anything and not have to worry about any backlash in. So me being released from my old label (relationship) made me reflect on alot of things that I was content with, That some believe I should've never settled for however that mean. I am looking forward to the future with her, But that is not my purpose for this blog. I am just saying "Yes" I am a fire starter,Why!? Because I fucking can. Simple as that may seem or be but I say again it is shit I love to do to feel as if I am getting under someone's Skin, rather it is a FB status or other means. Only because I feel as in some whacked out matter it is a "Vengeance" thing, only due to the shit I have been through and or endured. Certain people (That R Latrise Nigga) and more have felt I've went through a drastic change personally, Yes I have I will admit that I've taken a bitter turn for the worse/best. If you cannot deal or cope with it Fuck what you have heard, As far as Egan goes I will say this and hope this portion of my blog reaches you in loving and gr8 spirits bro bro. I miss ya, and deadass havent left you and you know we talk everyday or everyother day I let you rock and do you. Outside of my godparents now you are like a father/brother to me and You know not only for you and the family that has welcomed me, I'll do anything in my power and outside of for you all so you know damn well havent nothing changed. While in this drought we are coming close no matter what you may think. Ajene I love you more than thoughts could tell, I thank you for being whom you are and giving me the chance to love hard again. Sky is the limit rather it falls or we tear it down, I've grown tiresome of alot of things over the course of the last few months. Deadass though and alot of things were lost great things and or beautiful things, but i've gained both back with a renowned passion and completely happy...Therefore I am done *Drops mic exits* Let that Play

My Kanye Rant B4 I Leave

Fuck You!!!! She Was and always be better than you in every aspect, Love lost? yes there has been alot you should have never been such a way and now that she is gone, I have a chip on my shoulder and alot of shit to prove you wrong bitch. Deadass tho, I will show you why should've stayed around. In the least bit I'm still me Your still you, I sold my soul to my self and for the sake of the Fam (Familia Royale) and then some so fuck what you heard...until then...That is all....Oh and *snatches mic & chucks it*

Well Isnt This Akward?

Its Eric Tray, and I am your Host...Sike naw deadass tho. My day was iffy, I've had some fun kickin' it with Ty and my manz Chick Wiggity. I've finally gotten a chance to sit down and peep some of the blogs I've missed, And is it not awkward to see someone who once called theirself "Mrs Ray" address your Current GF as the same? Lol I could have so many things to cause some shit about that. I choose not to, My day has been fucked up enough with the leaving of my phone in my room while I went to help Senor Richy Rich and his wife Senorita Richy Rich. Why do I continue to attempt to salvage a relationship with those that have played me to the left? or may have called my parents? I do not know, I really do not know. Given they attempted to get me to talk as if I do not really say much of anything to them or anyone else, knowingly I choose to keep quiet now adayz unless it is with Ajene or few others nah mean?
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Outside of that my palms and knees have been killing me, I really believe I may have fractured my left palm in some sort of way even if it is a hairline fracture. I hope its not that issue in the least bit, Outside of that I have been like deadass going through some of the best/worst times of my summer. I feel some of the division amongst the Familia Royale boy's will come to a halt, Even though me an Ty stay tight Chris is around everynow and then..E...well I will just leave it at that. Outside of that everything is still coming together great, Like deadass I'm proud of it I've gotten alot of fears out. Along with alot of other inhibitions and things are moving up and up on the real deal nah mean?
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Other than that there is nothing else to really see or read hear if you do not enjoy what your reading its the free internet, go fucking download some music or something...until next time..Damn Demev What Happened!? Damn Familia Royale What Happened!?...Oh!! An to Boogie I hope this part of my blog reaches you in great spirits like deadass lil Sis, everything will look up do not let the stresses of the world get to you. Buckle down get yourself str8 and move right along ma. Big bro is always will be here, Even to you too Britt so lets keep it moving...Deadass moving on out.

days Like This I Would Like To Wish I Could Bash My Mother With a Fuckin WIffle Bat

Like deadass though this is not going to be a long post, both of my palms and both of my knees hurt from a spill I took last night horsing around and shit. While I'm waiting for Ajene, I'm getting this while I have the chance, I just wanted to update and say some shit...Well thers Shit...Laters yo.

Is Lavish Luxuriously

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Yes its a Rainy day, I was thinking if I am not mistaken the 5th marks the yr passing of my ex's father. Dag, I swear it was before this but I was thinking about it while laid giving up "The Up Way". Like that was one of those monumental moments in that supposed "friendship" or whatever it was to be labeled, I think of her mother alot. Due to the fact her mother was deadass cool, like way beyond her years on some village wise person shit. I admire her mother as a person and as one to go to when to seek advice or hear something that'll calm one's soul. I wish i could elaborate more on this more, but their about to go.
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Given her mother may not like me as much as she did or at all, I still digz Donna Watson. She was there when my great-aunt passed one more woman I lost who knew me best, if I lose one more I swear I'ma go off on that Baltimore love thing. Like deadass, but I will say this R.i.paradise Mr. Clark I never got a chance to meet you but during the stint of me and your daughter I hope I have made a nice impression b4 and maintained some sort of impression after the end of us....signed with heartfelt thoughts-

To Ms Donna- During our brief stint with one another I grew fondly attached to you when me and your daughter had our issues, and If it could've lasted I am sure you would've been proud. Given it showed I may not have been the one or she may not have been the one for me. I do hope we cross paths again or I'll come by and see you and politic with you andlet you know how well I am doing...Roderic Dwayne Devin Ray Jr.
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To Ajene's parents whom I have yet to meet and or deliver a viral impression upon, I do hope you will welcome me with open arms and hearts. Given what lil stress or bumps I may have caused for your daughter, I do love and intend to carry this as long far as it may go. Sry Ajene it just so happen to been a thought filled day thats not even half way over for me. As I texted you and told u to read my blog, I didnt want to voice those fears again because it would make me walk into this new venture with fear in my heart. And I do not need that, I've shaken all my fears and things that would've or could've hindered me from going in with my chin held high and heart to the sky.
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Dig this blog may receive some negative and positive reviews, I hope no one takes it where it shouldnt go. If it is taken that route I'm not to entertain that pointless shit, I just call it getting out my thoughts on the table I intend to leave my heart,soul and everything else I am willing to lose and gain on the table and the open book I live as an example/testify for someone else to use as something you should or should not do to gain whatever it is you may be searching for in life deadass. So please let it be known Ajene I love you and intend to again I reiterate outside of myself and my crew andnow you, Ya'll are who i get busy for keep ya'll beliefs in me and we will go somewhere and or I'll show you all my secrets. If you all tell me a lie....take that and bake on it.
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Now that is out the way and off of my mind, These thoughts and this blog was something on my mind while I was in the shower. So I had to get it off of my mind, If Ajene wouldnt have had to leave I would've talked to you about this but I figuredI'd blog it out in the most meaningful viral way possible. So now that this is off my chest I am off to go back to texting my loser like life away...Bitch you heard the hook....bang out
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Dont forget you have to play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first I'm like a piano, so play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,play me first,Truth Kills Opposition, Your Lying If You Say that You See Me...

I HadMad Fun

Got to kick it @ TeTe's Crib with Mommy and E and the gang, Ajene met mommy. Great feedback also from tete and everyone else who was there even though she was quiet, the time well spent during this weekend even at my worse on this past saturday for that bitch made estate sale. I got paid but still got jerked by that person who I call my fucking godfather, Forgive the heavy cursing but I do mean every last bit of what I say to the empty promises even though E reminded me of what was said. When my godfather said he'd take care of me if he came across a lump sum of money....yeah funny right? I learned along time ago, More so months...When the money goes or the money is non existence there is no romance or honey. atleast from the last person i was with, Ajene showed me other wise even though I'm trying and hopefully shit will fall through. I'm out for now Ajene done doing this shit for grandmother and we're on our way to the store so I can but me a big ass drink of lemonade...deadass....
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Communication is a bit more difficult than usual right now, but you can expect more clarity soon. If you ask for more time, it's a safe bet that you'll get it. Don't make any firm decisions!<~~~My Horoscope....

In A Moment Of Crying On And Dying In The Inside...

I Feel like fucking dying, let alone crying or plotting on suicide. Like deadass really this day is one of the worse by far, How far are you willing to go with out selling your soul? Or giving the devil a I.O.U on your own soul.I've been up since fucking 8am tired as fuck, Damn supposed god parents tore the house apart while trying to host this estate sale. Its like really taking a big fucking toll on me, deadass thank god I type fast I had to come blog this out or be outside breaking down. I'm trying to get this out while I ducked out to grandma house to break from all that manual labor of moving shit, Now i'm really like in need of getting the money these bitches owe me but since grandma is out there mentally killing whats left of herself right along with me its only right i get the fuck back out there....OH YEAH AND HAPPY BDAY O-DIDDY BOP!!(Omitra)....Now on to the next blog while I take my ass out side...

BANG THIS!!!!


and feelmy pain

BodyRoc

The more I sit back and enjoy what last of the time and space I have I tend to lose more respect for people in general, Not only due to their decisions but due to their stupidity and how they deal with it in between ya know? Outside of that I'm gonna manage to keep my feet kicked up at my supernatural vacation office while I continue you to strive for alot of other things. Myself and my bro's had a very in-depth conversation about this summer that has now came to a big fucking close, Lol like it all started with the death of Mary L. Dial (Rest in paradise I'll do this for you) and ended with a new start. So in other words the summer "Started with and end, Then ended with a Start" you overthink that while I sit here and ponder for a brief sec.
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Outside of that I still feel quite, how can I say...Content but then again slippin' into a new form of evolving into something yet positive which might drive me into more of a bitter yet greater state of mind, I have a fucked up philosophy on life I know dont remind me. Just rock with me or dont deal with me @ all, Other than that I'm just bloggin while I have the chance to like I said I would. There is nothing else on my mind besides the fact mommy keeps calling me as if Ty is with me, I wonder where the black bitch is cuz he already fucking up. Then again we're all bound to go down Me, Ty, E, and even Chris. That's another blogspot page to read that is Authored by the oldest out of the 4 of us, Anywhom I'm out to let alot of people know rather you are old or new in my life. If your with me you are with me and I accept you for who u r or how u r, Shouldnt you do the same in return? Lol I guess not, Not alot of people have the one thing in common theory but its quite alright. I'm tired of being underrated as a person and as an intellectual, so next time you decide to think I am just as dumb as I probably look. I'm really not, obviously you were just not worthy of knowing what I know while trying to kick knowledge and I make you look as dumb as you thought u were. Deadass though...
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Not bad for a supposed to be "Underacheiver" right!? Or someone who was always called a "cloud gazer", But anywhom I have to jet my time on this shit where I am at is coming to a brief close hopefully I'll get to come back and blog next time. An for Ty, Ya'll gotta let the dude in. He aint even 21 one yet but you gotta let him in, Him an E and Chris are the Red Carpet. I'm Just the nigga that show's up....Deadass Bodyroc.

Come Home With Me...

Like deadass it feels good to be around some damned internet and lights, An Not feel like a total complete loser nah mean? Today has been full of many surprise's, Like deadass though given my un-announced Digi-Vacation not only due to the fact the net is no longer in service at my former residence. The lights were turned off also out of the blue, Now before I venture into that. The damn supposed "Estate-Sale" as my uppercrust God-father puts it, this dude like has been str8 blackin' with the insurance money he is now fingering due to his mothers death. I assume that is his way of getting completely over it, whichever his excuse is I really do not care at all.
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Given we all knew me living in that home was to come to an end in general was completely inevitable, but given I had did some digging myself over the course of the summer. Not only did I find out some missing pieces and reasons in my timeline to how things had played out over the course of the past 2 years of my fucked up loser like life, The end of this summer will go down as one of the most memorable for a long time. Now as far as living where I am now (Mary's Home) my God-father told the mortgage comp. "If you want the house back that bad you can have it!", which is just about the "nigger-ish" way as they would phrase it.Its cool none the less everyone is out for self and it seems to remain that way, Its funny someone spoke about all of this shit happening months ago as if they knew it was to happen. Well it may be my anger talking and the person whom I might be on their blogger feed will see this blog, Thank you for predicting that i assume. One big fucking thank you was in order, Outside of that I still do not know where I will be living or residing however you would like to label that. I was assured of one thing it will not be on the streets even though honestly I did and or still do expect it, I just want to continue to strive not to be like anyone because in the end believing I am the chosen one however you would like to over think that. Will be one of the ones at the end of the road, Being view throughout the lies and everything I've either put 6
myself in or endured As "He was unique" so I think.
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Outside of that my relationship with my current girlfriend is quite the special and refreshing her, I thank her for the things she had blessed me with mentally and bringing me back from the road I probably was heading down nah mean? But deadass I am grateful that this is going such a way, If it was to (God-Forbid end) I would honestly love to remain as her friend or bestfriend (Overthink on that while I play hopskotch in your brains fools) Ass. Other than that I have another war on another battle field to partake in, Damn you Egan!!! I'm still preparing for that war when it comes I hope I am like deadass ready, Outside of that I've just been like really losing it mentally. Like if it was not for Ajene being @ my side when she "technically has no time for a BF" I am very apprecitive of the time given and time well spent nah mean? Outside of that I'll be waiting until January to do the school thing, do not ask why nor comment. No need i've been jinxed enough, I need not no ones encouragement and shit keep it to your fucking self.
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Other than that i've still managed to have fun, As I always intend to. Been hooping just about every tuesday, today marked my 2nd tuesday str8. Been great for the soul and body seeing as i've gained weight and then lost it, I would love to get back to the "06 Rick" where i was 218Lbs...Deadass sexy. Outside of that I do not really talk to alot of people, Again seeing as I see myself slippin into that dark Rick again where I do not want contact with alot of people. Why? I wish I knew, I ran across Rachele's lil cuzzo not too long ago she peeped me leaving the grocery store while she and her gramz (Grandmother) was on the way in. It was akward but hey shit's been weirder lately, like not seeing my GF for a whole fucking week. I aint even gonna go in on that just glad i could see her, other than that i'm pretty much done and chattin we E on FB so until next blog...Much love and Miss Me please?

Another One While I Have TheChance

Deadass though, They tryed to play me though. Anywhom, The internet is still of @ my place of rest and the damn estate sell is approaching fast as fuck. Now outside of that its alot going on but i'm sitting here on mommy's computer chilling helping her out with her blackberry thinking of Ajene, Lol I digz, i'ma leave it at that. Well i'm off to finish this and get on about mines later folk.

Like Deadass!!

My internet connection is down all so I'll be posting when i cant like i said blogs ago, so i am still alive and kicking and shit. Love All laterz

Everybody's Nobody...

If you know not of a person you would care to know or like as a person, you would say "He/she a nobody to me!" right? Well that tends to be a very vicious circle of life right along with the many others, such as people claiming to "Have fun,having to do it again its fun running into good people to replace the not so good" hilarious right?
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Thats not why I am bloggin' today, it was the rain outside that made me feel like posting a blog and given I've been bloggin on a consistent basis now adays. Minus the fact I've been playing "The Godfather" on xbox 360 lately, that game is mad fun and also one of my favorite books I've read so it was only right to play that game knowing my GF had it. Outside of that its been some things troubling me, but then again when is something not troubling me?
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Shit that is going on in my thunder mind, but I'm not to elaborate on whats been bothering me alot. Atleast not right now, but as far as this relationship its booming glad to be back in one. Like really and truly I am i did feel like it was going to be another year or more before I had entered another on, but someone came along and changed that...Funny when you least expect it things happen and at the drop of a dime end up in a new direction.
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As always I took losses to gain what I have now, But fuck it I'd rather lose the things or people I have lost for her. My bro's are still my bro's, We're still closer than ever even though E moved on from Yinka and found him a slice of whitebread to boo up with. Chris,Umm Err will just leave it at that. Just know both of his son's have reached earth and physically healthy baby boys, Outside of that Everything is everything. Minus a few mental scrapes and bruises along the way butwhen do we not have those nah mean?
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Ay BOOGIE!!! I seen the skullcandy's you copped out on, Their deadass dope I just do not personally wanna fuck wit those lil shitz. I need the DJ Style loves in my life gotta have major ear cuffage, And when the fuck am I to see another blog from you? I see blogs from everyone else but you. I underdig your in school and you got band shit to handle, but i heard you been going bonkers down there stop actin tight about bloggin and get ya shit together shithead other than that. This is now the end part of the blog where I will say "Fuck You" to a certain reader that is all boom blam bow, Get lost its the internet go download something bitch...

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I am very unwilling to go into much more detail about that dark period, I want you as people to get to know me before they know about all the dark stuff in my life. It unquestionably shaped a part of my identity and informs my beats and blogs still...Once I chill Maybe i will finish posting this blog...glad to have a GF

Random Things About Sincere...

Since it's my blog and everything... lol

Favorite album of all time:
"I Am"-Nas, Outside of that
"The Pink Lavalamp"-Charles Hamilton, The Soundtrack to my life

Favorite rapper(S) of all time:
Fabolous,Nas,Charles Hamilton

Favorite rapper currently:
Charles Hamilton

Favorite singer:
Pharrell

Favorite musician:
N*E*R*D

Favorite food:
Anything Mexican

Studio Equipment (I been gettin asked this question a LOT lately):When I Get the shit back I'll be sure to let you know.

Favorite woman (women):
That list needs to be worked on...

Not sure what else I been gettin asked lately, but any other question, feel free to ask... I'm Sleepy as fuck today... never felt better... GONE!!!!

Just Something....

I just blacked and figured out some reasons why some nigga/yamp might not like me...

-I'ma Blonde, which gets misconstrued as Dingy. That factors in when I don't return calls, or when I don't recognize someone and I don't give em a warm reception. Or Just flat out goofy ball.

-I show a great abundance of high confidence when I talk and or blog, which gets confused as cocky. See above arrogant bullet.

-I treat every woman like they could've or could have been girlfriend, even if I just met them, even if they have a man. That's bad for karma...Hence the problems i've had

-I have a short temper from time to time. I'm working on that everyday. I have a LONG temper now. Pause

-I retract some statements in the issue of comfort, but make it known that I was/am being real. Makes me look fake and like a wack n1gga, maybe I am or you have a bad fuckin' view

-I obsess. Iono why you wouldn't like headphones, with my given explanation, but what the hell...

Now that I've given a few reasons not to like me, why don't YOU like Sincere Ray?

"I GOT A NEW ATTITUDE!!!!"
-Patti LaBelle, "New Attitude"

Pause, for quoting an old song that has been featured in a menopause commercial... Lmao!!!


"Basically, every woman has to face the real them in the mirror. Before they put on their make up (Maybelline for some) and go on with their day. So they see all their flaws. And women, in all their fragility, manage to conjor up some pretty dark thoughts. Hence the Jazmine Sullivans of the world. The same way an artist looks at themselves. It's just like that. We as artists/musicians often doubt ourselves, making us feel as fragile as a woman. Just because a woman/artist is fragile, doesn't mean their weak. If anything, they get stronger when their down. Because they get back up." - Charles Hamilton

Sometimes. Other times they don't see a happy ending and give up.

Let me know if I'm blackin too hard.


I have never had no game whatsoever. I think the reason I've "caught as many bodies" as I did either had something to do with the context of the conversation, the fact that I'm a cool dude or they were just horny and needed a nut.I talk enough sh1t about sex (without saying anything) to make it seem as if I can do the job right, and hit the spot right I believe.

Or maybe it's self-confidence... on top of being self-conscious... whatever...

Just believe you're cool without being an asshole. That will kinda radiate off of you. Check me out... tryna give advice on something I needed advice about... lol


I love y'all. I got lazy and half-heartedly blacked, y'all put heat on me. I respect it. To the whoever that put that out there, cool. Don't like the blog. Because there are real readers. That makes me all smiley!!!!!! (using Russian accent). Ne-yo raised a really good point,Ty. About Women in general which i'll get at later And I'm gonna really really register. Like, take time and everything.

THANK YOU PEOPLE WHO LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!

I Was Deadass Plottin'

Yeah like the title says, Until Swiper (Falisha) came along fucking with me. I Got Proof too!!!
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I was going to finish starting this blog, but I ended up still fuckin' wit swiper...and shit.

Deadass Got Them...

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I Fuckz With Her....
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She Fucks With Me....

I Hate Clarifing Things That Were Already Clarified

Well lets start this off aimed to the person whom is under the impression I was out to destroy her with my word, Britt I'll say this once again. The following blog from last night was not to make you feel bad, It was more so an "Eye-opener" given the things that were said and or seen with me being an observer. In other words "On The Outside Looking In" and being a close resource of advice to the both yourself & Ty, so you saying "You hurt me" and or the comment you left on the blog "The Harlem Love Thing" was really something you had taken offense to. When you did not read between the lines or catch the picture I managed to paint with the words I used, I believe you will get what I am trying to say hopefully... If not then you'll just be one mad confused person.
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Its not typical of me to sit her and dictate what my words mean or meant, Seeing as most do not get my words misunderstood. As for why you may have managed to misunderstand them, I wish I knew since I have attempted to think as in your mind frame. To no avail I failed horribly, with that said I have decided to do this in attempt to see if you get what I have briefed you on above. Outside of that if anything else needs further explaining please contact me and let me know, or leave a comment and we will address it accordingly. I bid you Adieu...

Play Me First,Play Me First, And Dont Forget Play Me First....

I was supposed to been departed for my godparents home not too long ago, But I said "Fuck It" I'll pass on that and just head over there in the morning. I really do not feel like putting up with their shit today, especially after the other day...Which I do not want to re-iterate without catchin a fuckin tude' over it, I would rather be in a UFO space traveling right about now. Given alot of things in this world and day can be changed and indeed will be, but for now I'll settle with the shit I have been dealing with for a while. I feel as if I have a high tolerance for alot of things in this world, Why!? Hell if I know, So if you find out before I do let me know. I'll pas on the psycho-Eval. Just know that if I end up in the grave before my time I'll hopefully rock the casket screaming "FUCK YOU BASTARDS!!!", rather its the stress I've brought upon myself or the stress of others in my life.
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I mean yes I honestly intend to share as much pain & stress possible with my bto's so they will not be the only ones in this fucking world distraught and angry, Like myself I try to live a stress and drama free life. If it is not one thing it is completely and totally another thing going or has gone wrong, Rather its someone talking about "Us" as a cohesive unit or singling out me & Ty. Now I could also go off into why I said just calling out Me & Tyler but I'm not because that person's Sister/Cousin is a advent reader of my blog, Typically I do not care what I said could be sent back to the broad but this time I'll take the bigger approach and leave it be. Outside of that its the stress and drama with my bro Ty and Chicky wings mom, I love them dearly and I always come to the rescue and battlelines when shit happens to hit the fan. Only thing is I hate how someone so young and has grown into a young adult (Womanhood) acts out on every little thing that someone does, Now do not get me wrong with me being on both ends of this spectrum is quite the troublesome thing.
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It is so much stress and bullshit a person will take before they will snap and go back off the deep end, and with her just saying things that is not meant to be said or even fathoming that shit is down right completely wrong. Also having the mentality "I Am The Only Friend He Needs" is basically setting yourself up to fall flat on your face, Due to the fact you not only will explode on the first itch you get thinking something or someone has violated your spot which will cause a rift or tear between the relationship you two have built. Given your "Not together" it is the things that are done inbetween times, So I am honestly not faulting one side of this issue. Actually I am faulting myself right along with this given Myself & Ty had this conversation, Which i am not to go into detail on.
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Now as far as this goes I do take your word for face value about you saying this is not about Ty, But my gut instinct does tell me otherwise and I would like to go in on this and elaborate but i will wait until further notice for this to see where it will lead. Moving right along, Seeing as you along with the last person I was involved with just do not understand the bullshit that was dished out just for you to worsen it.
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Now we've set and talked about this, And hopefully it will resolve itself, but until I will say this. You know where I stand as far as this goes so please attempt to handle this and do not let shit like that get under your skin, It makes for a stressed life and a early grave....And on that note this concludes this blog, I'll probably go back downstairs and watch Kill Biil Vol 1 & 2 for like the millionth time...Laterz

The Harlem Love Thing...

So yet again the other day my godfather manages to piss me off with his non-hilarious ass jokes, Me & Ty happen to been speakin' of one our inside jokes that we have about one another and it happen to be about E. So this dumbass godfather of mines spits out "It's better than sitting @ home *Coughs* OH! Did I say that out loud?". Now typically I know personally he's known for saying stupid shit like that on the regular, but it was the fact he said it in front of Ty's friend who stopped by & Ajene given she was there when them niggaz happen to drop by. Also like everyone else Her & Ty's friend do not really care for my god parents, Knowingly that would be the final verdict seeing as they act as "Snoody Bitches" who live barely upper lower class of living.
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Its cool though I am not really blackin' about that, Hell I'm still viewed as the same ole lovable Rick. Hell even Chris knew that was bound to happen, but its cool though after they left I still managed to have fun like I always do. As of today I had told myself last night I was not to blog about that from yesterday and try to ignore it and push it out of my mind, but we see where that went. Somehow some way I assume listening to 50 Cent's "A Baltimore Lovething" made me title this blog "The Harlem Love Thing", I was going to have something that tied into the title then I changed my mind and just let it flow. Outside of that I'm still plottin' on running to the moon, and never coming back because alot of things in this "Fli Life" are starting to get heavy again that quick. So I'm not planning on another Digi-Vacation, But if it happens hey it happens. Until then its alot of people out here who are on some "Opportunist" shit and its gonna bite them deadass in their clit like they swallowed cum for lunch...but I'm not gonna hop off into that...until then I'm Ghost yo...Laterz

Making This The Letter After "M" B4 I Go...

Do not think this will be too long I hope, I mean It was not much happening today besides chilling lost in thought. Banged some Daft Punk, Thought about love rather it was love I am getting or love lost rather it was people. Maybe, It was love that I lost for alot of people. Given it was alotta things that were talked about today between myself & Ty, I assume people just take alot of it for granted let alone personally do not know why I take so much shit from people and put up with those attitudes from the past. Do not get me wrong in the least bit, there is alot of hatred for some of those who've done me wrong or have. Hence why I kinda slid away from doing the whole Ex girlfriend's worse nightmare shit, I mean I will finish it soon enough in due time for those that has been asking me about. I am not in no rush to, Since someone we know is out there waiting on there proverbial number to be called to be served. Outside of that, I'm tired of being lonely...No not lonely as in not having anyone I'm speaking as in of having someone next to me to rest with, Lol bed's been on empty mode. Like Show said "Its too much stress going on in my head, And not enough sex in my bed" <~~~I actually like that part in that track.
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I'll be going over to my godparents to try and continue to make this money, So I can keep working toward my goal of getting my dear own Ipod. Yeah, iSincere V3.10 Lol Deadass though. Once more I see I had to work toward this goal on my own since certain people left empty promise shells around me as of recently, And recently seeing this Chris person get shit without having to work for it kinda irks me. Then again I assume if I was to get one chick pregnant who was getting all of this government assisted money, I'd knock her ass up too. Well that was my low blow of the day, I mean I surely see shit like that and it irks me knowing that might've been me. Also I am not speaking in terms of "A nigga who uses his baby momma for shit", but as a dude who was going to be a father. Now let me take a moment and let that sink cuz I kinda shot myself in the chest on that one...1...2...3...4...5. Ok, I'm good now. Seriously had plans on being a father of some woman's baby, And if your a consistent reader of my blog you should not have to think of what the fuck I'm talkin' about. Now why do I go head and come out and say this while happily where I'm at now? because seeing this baby shit on the Ass-tube is quite annoying, to be totally fucking honest that and seeing people in my crew become fuck parents of multiple children. Ty is a outstanding father to my godson/nephew (Wattup Chicky Wing!!) and lord knows the sky is the limit for my lil dude, I treat him as if he's my own cuz the lil dude is just so cool and We're chubby so CHUBBYS RULE!!!...Lmao!. Deadass though, outside of that hearing all of the baby subject floats around in my head and quite honestly...Its scaring again, I mean if I had blog back when I caught my first few pregnancy scares I'd think I would not be sitting here releasing this demon on my blog now would I?
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Well I'm pretty much done for now...Ay!!! You!! Yeah You Reading This...My phone has been off for those have not notice or give 3/16's of a shit about it and I will be out of commission for a minute, but I'll hear your voice soon enough and try to stay sane...cause outside of my blog and music and people (Yes in that order) Thats all I have and will ever have...E I will kill you if you dont make it down here so we can ride out to go see G.i. Joe next friday bitch...