The mere thought process, of someone who constantly thinks about many things. Ranging from life, wonders of the future, and so on an so forth. Either which way I’ve personally be re-evaluating a lot of things in this supposed thing you call “Life”, Since no one really hears what I say or attempt to so I just feel as if I be blabbin’ on about awhole bunch of nothing. That does not exclude the fact those who count and I know for a fact listen E, T.y., Chris and few others I choose not to name (Even though I may not have named you you are and serve a important cause in me keeping my sanity). Anyway, I love to know and be re-assured that certain things amongst us or our “Clique” are and will be always tight, I know they say “Every good thing shall come to and end”, but being me and in my nature I love and thrive off of pushing the envelope and beyond the limits. I was told that the sky is the limit, well personally I say “Fuck the sky I want it all” and me and those whom I consider close to me and have stuck with me through our ups, downs and tribulations I say “thank you” from the bottom of my heart.
Anyway back to my irregular thoughts, I’ve been staying on the mental edge for no reason as of lately and feeling out of place amongst some of my peers which is unlike me I tend to feel either there is about to be something either in my life or our lives that is going to bound us closer yet again, It never fails we have our fallouts between one another. Outside of that I just stray from topic to topic in my own dome since this is one of my other main outlets to let out aggression or things that I talk to people about but do not understand, which is highly typical for those who do not bother to hear what I say let alone barely listen. Which brings me to my next point of topic I’m about to elaborate on, It is a “BIG” difference between listening and hearing someone.
Listening for example, is if I was speaking to you about some topic it does not matter random or meaningful. It may not be of interest of you or something you would like to discuss meaning you would more likely to do 1 of 2 possibly logical things, first either change the topic and direct the conversation to something of your choice. 2nd either attempt to act as if you hear me but then again not pay any type of mental attention to what the hell I’d be talking of. Next would be Hearing, in attempt to hear me during what so ever the topic of discussion may be you’d be likely to be very into it along with responding in whole sentences or paragraphs. Since the topic would be of medium to high interest and it would be a full conversation along with other side or sub-conversations that would so likely happen to come along.
With that being put out there that is just so another one of my random thoughts that goes on inside of my dome, Lol who said Roderic could not type a serious topic? To that person who doubt me obviously you didn’t pay me enough attention to see what I write and or do so personally I’ma get back to myself and do what I normally do…HOLL@
Sincerely,
Sincere
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
I'm L:eft Wondering
I'm constantly on the thought move for those who do not know me, I'm typically thinking ahead of things or planning things to say the least. Therefore my thoughts have been quite occupied to say the least...but for the couple of weeks i've been or have been busy just about every thursday for the past 2 or 3 weeks if i'm not mistaking, and i never knock the fact that people have other obligations beyond myself. Even though i do have my own personal moments where i am being a spoiled person about it, but in the same context i am...I admit that proudly even though i should not, Let alone attempt to change that but thats just how i am.
I do indeed really care for her as if she was the next person who would have a decade worth of time invested in them with no doubts and or questions about the connect, But yet again i beleive i have either put myself out there beyond a point of no return. Which was intended since i've adapted a new way of letting things be known by showing them...But anywho back to the point i had to put this out here, because i have racked my brain miraculiously about the thoughts of her. Both mentally and physically more so the mental aspect, Since she has been one of the only females I've actually took the time out and gotten to know. I have told if not everyone about her and those few who have met her (Via God Parents) have given positive feedback.
Then again my god parents have met very few of those i decided to give the title of GF to, not saying they were not worth meeting them but some didnt have that potential to do so. Her on the other hand...Has it all and then some. Anyway I've been still trying or attempting quite hard and figuring out what it is about her that makes me feel such a way, I know...I really do know but it seems i'm searching for something deeper in her and I'm determined to find it. Along with the true purpose of the love we could possibly have....Well I'm off To bed its 5:04am...
I do indeed really care for her as if she was the next person who would have a decade worth of time invested in them with no doubts and or questions about the connect, But yet again i beleive i have either put myself out there beyond a point of no return. Which was intended since i've adapted a new way of letting things be known by showing them...But anywho back to the point i had to put this out here, because i have racked my brain miraculiously about the thoughts of her. Both mentally and physically more so the mental aspect, Since she has been one of the only females I've actually took the time out and gotten to know. I have told if not everyone about her and those few who have met her (Via God Parents) have given positive feedback.
Then again my god parents have met very few of those i decided to give the title of GF to, not saying they were not worth meeting them but some didnt have that potential to do so. Her on the other hand...Has it all and then some. Anyway I've been still trying or attempting quite hard and figuring out what it is about her that makes me feel such a way, I know...I really do know but it seems i'm searching for something deeper in her and I'm determined to find it. Along with the true purpose of the love we could possibly have....Well I'm off To bed its 5:04am...
I'm Left Wondering
I'm constantly on the thought move for those who do not know me, I'm typically thinking ahead of things or planning things to say the least. Therefore my thoughts have been quite occupied to say the least...but for the couple of weeks i've been or have been busy just about every thursday for the past 2 or 3 weeks if i'm not mistaking, and i never knock the fact that people have other obligations beyond myself. Even though i do have my own personal moments where i am being a spoiled person about it, but in the same context i am...I admit that proudly even though i should not, Let alone attempt to change that but thats just how i am.
I do indeed really care for her as if she was the next person who would have a decade worth of time invested in them with no doubts and or questions about the connect, But yet again i beleive i have either put myself out there beyond a point of no return. Which was intended since i've adapted a new way of letting things be known by showing them...But anywho back to the point i had to put this out here, because i have racked my brain miraculiously about the thoughts of her. Both mentally and physically more so the mental aspect, Since she has been one of the only females I've actually took the time out and gotten to know. I have told if not everyone about her and those few who have met her (Via God Parents) have given positive feedback.
Then again my god parents have met very few of those i decided to give the title of GF to, not saying they were not worth meeting them but some didnt have that potential to do so. Her on the other hand...Has it all and then some. Anyway I've been still trying or attempting quite hard and figuring out what it is about her that makes me feel such a way, I know...I really do know but it seems i'm searching for something deeper in her and I'm determined to find it. Along with the true purpose of the love we could possibly have....Well I'm off To bed its 5:04am....
I do indeed really care for her as if she was the next person who would have a decade worth of time invested in them with no doubts and or questions about the connect, But yet again i beleive i have either put myself out there beyond a point of no return. Which was intended since i've adapted a new way of letting things be known by showing them...But anywho back to the point i had to put this out here, because i have racked my brain miraculiously about the thoughts of her. Both mentally and physically more so the mental aspect, Since she has been one of the only females I've actually took the time out and gotten to know. I have told if not everyone about her and those few who have met her (Via God Parents) have given positive feedback.
Then again my god parents have met very few of those i decided to give the title of GF to, not saying they were not worth meeting them but some didnt have that potential to do so. Her on the other hand...Has it all and then some. Anyway I've been still trying or attempting quite hard and figuring out what it is about her that makes me feel such a way, I know...I really do know but it seems i'm searching for something deeper in her and I'm determined to find it. Along with the true purpose of the love we could possibly have....Well I'm off To bed its 5:04am....
Monday, June 30, 2008
My Lyrics Of The Week From My Song Of The Week Day26 In Together
[Verse 1: Qwanell]They say that true love is so hard to find (find)Well I'm gonna take my timeAnd I, ain't gonna rush into somethingTo get left with nothing againThat's what I said beforeUntil I opened up that doorLet you in, and left my heart wide openAnd now I'm just hopin'[Chorus:]Would you live for meNow shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)Are we in this together (come and tell me)Are we in this together (tell me)If I was locked out with no moneyWould you hold it down for meI just gotta know for sureAre we in this togetherAre we in this togetherTell me
[Verse 2: Robert]If bein' in love with you was such a driveAnd I needed a place to hideAnd there's no time, and I needed to get away driverCould you find it inside of your heartCause I do the same for youThere ain't no tellin' what love can doIf it's true, you got my heart wide openThat's why I'm hopin'...
[Chorus:]Would you live for meNow shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)Are we in this together (come and tell me) (tell me baby) (tell me baby)Are we in this together (tell me)If I was locked out with no money (oh)Would you hold it down for me (oh)I just gotta know for sure (oh whoo whoo whoo)Are we in this together (tell me)Are we in this together (I wanna know)Tell me
[Bridge: Big Mike](Oh girl I hope you want to stay)And I hope you're listenin'(Placing that rock on your finger girl)Oh that's my mission(you'll never catch me in the club)Straight slippin' slippin'(Unless I'm sippin' on some bud)Well you know that's different(This kinda love) can't be definedJust know that I'm right behind you baby(Anybody who says I'm not sounds crazy to me)Hey, just say you're with meAll I wanna know is would you live...
[Chorus: Big Mike & Brian]Would you live for me {BM}Now shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)(tell me would you die for me baby)Are we in this together (come and tell me)(Would you give me everything baby)Are we in this together {B} (tell me)If I was locked out with no money (locked out with no money)Would you hold it down for meI just gotta know for sure (got to know for sure yeah)Are we in this together (ay)Are we in this together (tell me)Tell me
[Chorus:]Would you live for meNow shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)Are we in this together (come and tell me)Are we in this together (tell me)If I was locked out with no moneyWould you hold it down for meI just gotta know for sureAre we in this togetherAre we in this togetherTell me
[Verse 2: Robert]If bein' in love with you was such a driveAnd I needed a place to hideAnd there's no time, and I needed to get away driverCould you find it inside of your heartCause I do the same for youThere ain't no tellin' what love can doIf it's true, you got my heart wide openThat's why I'm hopin'...
[Chorus:]Would you live for meNow shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)Are we in this together (come and tell me) (tell me baby) (tell me baby)Are we in this together (tell me)If I was locked out with no money (oh)Would you hold it down for me (oh)I just gotta know for sure (oh whoo whoo whoo)Are we in this together (tell me)Are we in this together (I wanna know)Tell me
[Bridge: Big Mike](Oh girl I hope you want to stay)And I hope you're listenin'(Placing that rock on your finger girl)Oh that's my mission(you'll never catch me in the club)Straight slippin' slippin'(Unless I'm sippin' on some bud)Well you know that's different(This kinda love) can't be definedJust know that I'm right behind you baby(Anybody who says I'm not sounds crazy to me)Hey, just say you're with meAll I wanna know is would you live...
[Chorus: Big Mike & Brian]Would you live for me {BM}Now shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)(tell me would you die for me baby)Are we in this together (come and tell me)(Would you give me everything baby)Are we in this together {B} (tell me)If I was locked out with no money (locked out with no money)Would you hold it down for meI just gotta know for sure (got to know for sure yeah)Are we in this together (ay)Are we in this together (tell me)Tell me
[Chorus:]Would you live for meNow shawty tell me would you die for me (die for me)Are we in this together (come and tell me)Are we in this together (tell me)If I was locked out with no moneyWould you hold it down for meI just gotta know for sureAre we in this togetherAre we in this togetherTell me
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Why Do I Feel This Way?
Why do i feel this way? I wish i only knew why i felt this way about her? I know why, but its just the simple things she does that makes me feel this way...So i assume...It has gotten to a point where the air she breaths i would love to inhale. She's is such a sweet person and everything i would love to have and it has been 2 years since we've known and or connected with one another.
I remember the first time i had came across her, It was right then and there i figured i was hers from jump rather it was as friends or more. Ample thoughts of everything and every other possible scenario plays throughout my thoughts each and everyday, I want to pursue oh so much with her and so on an so forth...But like i told her its so much more to me...because Rick hasnt loved like this in a while...But at the same time i will not..and i repeat will not, Do what most people has...which is build a relationship leaving their friends behind and puttin them on a shelf. I cannot stand that with a passion..But oh well but i'm off to start another topic i'll catch u in the next one....Love ya'll peace and one love folks thank you for reading
I remember the first time i had came across her, It was right then and there i figured i was hers from jump rather it was as friends or more. Ample thoughts of everything and every other possible scenario plays throughout my thoughts each and everyday, I want to pursue oh so much with her and so on an so forth...But like i told her its so much more to me...because Rick hasnt loved like this in a while...But at the same time i will not..and i repeat will not, Do what most people has...which is build a relationship leaving their friends behind and puttin them on a shelf. I cannot stand that with a passion..But oh well but i'm off to start another topic i'll catch u in the next one....Love ya'll peace and one love folks thank you for reading
Why Do I Feel This Way?
Why do i feel this way? I wish i only knew why i felt this way about her? I know why, but its just the simple things she does that makes me feel this way...So i assume...It has gotten to a point where the air she breaths i would love to inhale. She's is such a sweet person and everything i would love to have and it has been 2 years since we've known and or connected with one another.
I remember the first time i had came across her, It was right then and there i figured i was hers from jump rather it was as friends or more. Ample thoughts of everything and every other possible scenario plays throughout my thoughts each and everyday, I want to pursue oh so much with her and so on an so forth...But like i told her its so much more to me...because Rick hasnt loved like this in a while...But at the same time i will not..and i repeat will not, Do what most people has...which is build a relationship leaving their friends behind and puttin them on a shelf. I cannot stand that with a passion..But oh well but i'm off to start another topic i'll catch u in the next one....Love ya'll peace and one love folks thank you for reading
I remember the first time i had came across her, It was right then and there i figured i was hers from jump rather it was as friends or more. Ample thoughts of everything and every other possible scenario plays throughout my thoughts each and everyday, I want to pursue oh so much with her and so on an so forth...But like i told her its so much more to me...because Rick hasnt loved like this in a while...But at the same time i will not..and i repeat will not, Do what most people has...which is build a relationship leaving their friends behind and puttin them on a shelf. I cannot stand that with a passion..But oh well but i'm off to start another topic i'll catch u in the next one....Love ya'll peace and one love folks thank you for reading
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I Want It...I Want Her...
I Want It...I Want Her...
Category: Blogging
Your out there,I know you are but i can not sense you...I lick my lips and taste your lip gloss from the very last kiss. Why is it you constantly tease my heart with these passionate kissese?..Get more and more full of love or could it be lust?...I beleive it is not Lust but yet again the heart can deceive me and my ways...
I'm constantly lost in thoughts of you...wanting and fiending to know you...I yearn for you to be mines and mines only...I wanna know everything about you...good and or bad...I would love to be the one that your family and friends ask about...I miss that feeling of knowing that special females family...It shows how family oriented i am...Then beyond that i want to know your every thought...Rather i'm in it or not...I would like to hear your voice early in the morning...be the last i here at night...
Category: Blogging
Your out there,I know you are but i can not sense you...I lick my lips and taste your lip gloss from the very last kiss. Why is it you constantly tease my heart with these passionate kissese?..Get more and more full of love or could it be lust?...I beleive it is not Lust but yet again the heart can deceive me and my ways...
I'm constantly lost in thoughts of you...wanting and fiending to know you...I yearn for you to be mines and mines only...I wanna know everything about you...good and or bad...I would love to be the one that your family and friends ask about...I miss that feeling of knowing that special females family...It shows how family oriented i am...Then beyond that i want to know your every thought...Rather i'm in it or not...I would like to hear your voice early in the morning...be the last i here at night...
Monday, May 26, 2008
To Be Loved
To Be Loved...
Current mood: discontent
Category: Blogging
I pose a question...which is asked a million times everysecond of the day...But what is it to you...To be loved?...Does it mean selling your soul for the type of love from a significant other? Girlfriend? Female Bestfriend?...Fam?....Or is it something thats earned and not easily given about?....
I've came to many conclusion's as i set here and reflected on that word and love it self...I've assumed many times i've had it in my life (I probably do) but then again i dont,I've been in search of it for awhile and thats just one of the many things i happen to be "In Search Of"...I mean really i've been contemplating on this subject for awhile since that....We'll just call her "Rocket Girl" No need for names cause i'm already sickened myself over her enough...i have others whom have filled her void...
but anyway i've found myself saying the 3 deadly words as some would put it "I Love You"...Yeah! its that serious out here, lol but word up though i feel its genuine but then again its 2 people that think outside of the box so it could be a trap but then again when u go against the flow of the current your quick to get yourself fucked in that game...but its cool though i'm gonna keep going with the flow of things and it just so happens the females name is Kandis for those who think "Rocket Girl" was whom i was referring to in the paragraph above...It just another moment of clarity and thought...since i havent hit yall with anything in a while i'm off to bed its 5:26Am and i taste her on my tounge...lol think about it and it'll hit u later...I'm out Sincere Is Dreams And Dreams Are Sincere...
Current mood: discontent
Category: Blogging
I pose a question...which is asked a million times everysecond of the day...But what is it to you...To be loved?...Does it mean selling your soul for the type of love from a significant other? Girlfriend? Female Bestfriend?...Fam?....Or is it something thats earned and not easily given about?....
I've came to many conclusion's as i set here and reflected on that word and love it self...I've assumed many times i've had it in my life (I probably do) but then again i dont,I've been in search of it for awhile and thats just one of the many things i happen to be "In Search Of"...I mean really i've been contemplating on this subject for awhile since that....We'll just call her "Rocket Girl" No need for names cause i'm already sickened myself over her enough...i have others whom have filled her void...
but anyway i've found myself saying the 3 deadly words as some would put it "I Love You"...Yeah! its that serious out here, lol but word up though i feel its genuine but then again its 2 people that think outside of the box so it could be a trap but then again when u go against the flow of the current your quick to get yourself fucked in that game...but its cool though i'm gonna keep going with the flow of things and it just so happens the females name is Kandis for those who think "Rocket Girl" was whom i was referring to in the paragraph above...It just another moment of clarity and thought...since i havent hit yall with anything in a while i'm off to bed its 5:26Am and i taste her on my tounge...lol think about it and it'll hit u later...I'm out Sincere Is Dreams And Dreams Are Sincere...
Show Yall Whats Going On In My Mind As Of Now
I pose a question...which is asked a million times everysecond of the day...But what is it to you...To be loved?...Does it mean selling your soul for the type of love from a significant other? Girlfriend? Female Bestfriend?...Fam?....Or is it something thats earned and not easily given about?....
I've came to many conclusion's as i set here and reflected on that word and love it self...I've assumed many times i've had it in my life (I probably do) but then again i dont,I've been in search of it for awhile and thats just one of the many things i happen to be "In Search Of"...I mean really i've been contemplating on this subject for awhile since that....We'll just call her "Rocket Girl" No need for names cause i'm already sickened myself over her enough...i have others whom have filled her void...
but anyway i've found myself saying the 3 deadly words as some would put it "I Love You"...Yeah! its that serious out here, lol but word up though i feel its genuine but then again its 2 people that think outside of the box so it could be a trap but then again when u go against the flow of the current your quick to get yourself fucked in that game...but its cool though i'm gonna keep going with the flow of things and it just so happens the females name is Kandis for those who think "Rocket Girl" was whom i was referring to in the paragraph above...It just another moment of clarity and thought...since i havent hit yall with anything in a while i'm off to bed its 5:26Am and i taste her on my tounge...lol think about it and it'll hit u later...I'm out Sincere Is Dreams And Dreams Are Sincere...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Another May 18th Post
I sit here and feel lonely from time to time...for some odd reason...which really isnt like me since i'm always surrounded with someone,even if their presence is physically needed or called for...but certain shit feels whats the term i'm looking for....minimal...maybe i've been sitting around reminiscing on the times where it was just me and no one else...and it brought a cold feeling back into my heart..I've grown out of that along time ago but i do understand that sometimes you have to face your past to move on to your future...i thought that i've did that constantly...but feelings with or toward certain people just wont ever fade will though?...Like your just mentally or physically attached to them and or that person?
Like I'm constantly wondering you know...That What if? factor as if u wonder what could've happened if u did that one thing differently?...Would yall still be together? would it be the same if her friends didnt get in her head? would it be different if her friends friends told u she was a hoe cautioned you to stay back b4 u got hurt?
Oh well they dont say its illegal for u to dream or think...right or did bush put a oil tax and oil law on that?...Anyway i'm off to Beam Up To Scotty for the time being or talk to someone laterz yo
Like I'm constantly wondering you know...That What if? factor as if u wonder what could've happened if u did that one thing differently?...Would yall still be together? would it be the same if her friends didnt get in her head? would it be different if her friends friends told u she was a hoe cautioned you to stay back b4 u got hurt?
Oh well they dont say its illegal for u to dream or think...right or did bush put a oil tax and oil law on that?...Anyway i'm off to Beam Up To Scotty for the time being or talk to someone laterz yo
May 18th 2008
Whattup world its ya boi Sincere again...Bloggin' fresh thoughts and updating since i said i'd keep this blog updated regularly b4 i'd blog when i wanted but i feel this here is what keeps me somewhat sane since no one really asks or sits down and conversates with me...Just even if its for a few minutes...I love conversating just as much as blogging because blogs cant up and walk away when you get into the heat of a good conversation even if your listening but anyway i've been feeling out of it as well as down for the past few days....
Whats the point of having 3 female bestfriends who dont call you? Dont conversate with you ( The exception of Cinnamon)...and rarely ever see anymore...I dont talk to Swiper (Falisha) as often as i once did....I dont talk to Brittany as much as i did or used to since she dont talk to me no more since she was my main bestfriend...which is some complete BS....Cinnamon i talked to her day in day out..only because she loves to talk and listen so i guess i'm content with that for now...
outside of that i've seen one of the shortest engagements ever...and only bad thing is someone's sister is what cause the end of this...wow and the person believed it could've been me or some one else snitching wow shows who's paranoid and who aint right?...Also i've been thinking about some of the things me and Kandis was talking about that one day we had our serious conversation...its funny she kept my strawberry letter...it kinda made me feel warmer on the inside...
I miss having a girlfriend but then again it wouldnt work out because given the past...either from cheating on or cheated...it kinda bothers me that i had alot of potential around me...but dont bother to put it to use for many reasons but none to name right now...
and i hate the fact i've been constantly thinking of my ex alot even after the fact we ended on a sour note and due to the fact i beleive that the person she is....matter of fact i refuse to get off into that story because i'm already thinking of her..i never have regrets but i do think in the back of my mind if we wouldnt have started fucking last summer we'd still be friends atleast...because you know they say sex alters the playing field...and its a proven fact over and over again...and some shit is better left unsettled..closure would be the last thing on my mind...but anyway on with bloggin of random thoughts...
Why is it whoever is reading these blogs..Yes You The Fucking Reader...never leaves a comment or show the u were here is it that you do not understand where i am coming from or is it a shock that someone like myself is very capable of putting words together...lol i have a way with words dont i?
plus its not often u get me to talk professional or non-niggerish...cuz most of you people of your stature are not worth the words of a civilized person like myself...also i was taught its better to be thought dumb than open your mouth and reveal all knowledge..with that said dont assume "Oh he's not a dummy afterall" cuz you'd be selling yourself extremely short thinking this or any of my previous blogs are something of showing my intelligent side...its really not its just i've been suffering from a horrid case of insomnia cuz of me thinking too much and or heartache...so catch up dummie get your vocab up if u dont know what insomnia is.
also let me add it seems when certain people read anything i say i get down played i dont get no "That was nice" or "That kid knows his shit" i'm glad i'm in bloggin for the fact of remaining sane and or for the love of being me...or i'd be highly pissed dont no one ever tell me your writing skills are quite dope....is it i dont talk about what dont intrests u in the first place? oh well move on to the next blog...or is it i dont talk about bouncing pussy's and how many hoes i fucked? oh well get over it...i do things of the such because i am a guy but i aint ignorant with it in the least bit and this just happens to be one of my very many random thoughts...
People never realize how committed to friends and those i call Fam until its too late...i mean really i'm all in and down for anything anywhere any given time...and really i'm in it for the love and admiration even if its not for the respect but hey fuck it...I love being the unsung hero....i just hate how certain people's attitude change...Its like if you've been with me for so long or even just act one way then another when u catch a attitude its pointless as fuck....but i suffer from that same clothe...so i aint gonna complain too much about that
anywho...why is it some folk just expect me to be "The Chosen 1" my name aint fucking Lebron...i'm only Rick (Roderic If You Nasty)...A.k.a Sincere one and only who does what he does when he does it..and i love being there for my peoples (Check previous blogs to see who) just that if u dont call me and or tell me whats up or whats eating at you i cant help u if u dont help yourself dun dun...
As far as this summer is concerned i'm having mad fun...but i do miss school i wanna go back to school this fall so when and if it does fall through and happens i'm on point with it and will get my shit str8 so i can get my degreee and better myself to the point of reaching for the universe cuz its all mines...and i refuse to settle for less...and those that do fuck wit me on a regular knows u fuck wit me your stuck with me and sticking with me like i stick with you knows we're going places but anyway its 7:25Am and i'm bout to watch tv until i get sleepy i'll probably blog again tonight dun dun's laters....
Whats the point of having 3 female bestfriends who dont call you? Dont conversate with you ( The exception of Cinnamon)...and rarely ever see anymore...I dont talk to Swiper (Falisha) as often as i once did....I dont talk to Brittany as much as i did or used to since she dont talk to me no more since she was my main bestfriend...which is some complete BS....Cinnamon i talked to her day in day out..only because she loves to talk and listen so i guess i'm content with that for now...
outside of that i've seen one of the shortest engagements ever...and only bad thing is someone's sister is what cause the end of this...wow and the person believed it could've been me or some one else snitching wow shows who's paranoid and who aint right?...Also i've been thinking about some of the things me and Kandis was talking about that one day we had our serious conversation...its funny she kept my strawberry letter...it kinda made me feel warmer on the inside...
I miss having a girlfriend but then again it wouldnt work out because given the past...either from cheating on or cheated...it kinda bothers me that i had alot of potential around me...but dont bother to put it to use for many reasons but none to name right now...
and i hate the fact i've been constantly thinking of my ex alot even after the fact we ended on a sour note and due to the fact i beleive that the person she is....matter of fact i refuse to get off into that story because i'm already thinking of her..i never have regrets but i do think in the back of my mind if we wouldnt have started fucking last summer we'd still be friends atleast...because you know they say sex alters the playing field...and its a proven fact over and over again...and some shit is better left unsettled..closure would be the last thing on my mind...but anyway on with bloggin of random thoughts...
Why is it whoever is reading these blogs..Yes You The Fucking Reader...never leaves a comment or show the u were here is it that you do not understand where i am coming from or is it a shock that someone like myself is very capable of putting words together...lol i have a way with words dont i?
plus its not often u get me to talk professional or non-niggerish...cuz most of you people of your stature are not worth the words of a civilized person like myself...also i was taught its better to be thought dumb than open your mouth and reveal all knowledge..with that said dont assume "Oh he's not a dummy afterall" cuz you'd be selling yourself extremely short thinking this or any of my previous blogs are something of showing my intelligent side...its really not its just i've been suffering from a horrid case of insomnia cuz of me thinking too much and or heartache...so catch up dummie get your vocab up if u dont know what insomnia is.
also let me add it seems when certain people read anything i say i get down played i dont get no "That was nice" or "That kid knows his shit" i'm glad i'm in bloggin for the fact of remaining sane and or for the love of being me...or i'd be highly pissed dont no one ever tell me your writing skills are quite dope....is it i dont talk about what dont intrests u in the first place? oh well move on to the next blog...or is it i dont talk about bouncing pussy's and how many hoes i fucked? oh well get over it...i do things of the such because i am a guy but i aint ignorant with it in the least bit and this just happens to be one of my very many random thoughts...
People never realize how committed to friends and those i call Fam until its too late...i mean really i'm all in and down for anything anywhere any given time...and really i'm in it for the love and admiration even if its not for the respect but hey fuck it...I love being the unsung hero....i just hate how certain people's attitude change...Its like if you've been with me for so long or even just act one way then another when u catch a attitude its pointless as fuck....but i suffer from that same clothe...so i aint gonna complain too much about that
anywho...why is it some folk just expect me to be "The Chosen 1" my name aint fucking Lebron...i'm only Rick (Roderic If You Nasty)...A.k.a Sincere one and only who does what he does when he does it..and i love being there for my peoples (Check previous blogs to see who) just that if u dont call me and or tell me whats up or whats eating at you i cant help u if u dont help yourself dun dun...
As far as this summer is concerned i'm having mad fun...but i do miss school i wanna go back to school this fall so when and if it does fall through and happens i'm on point with it and will get my shit str8 so i can get my degreee and better myself to the point of reaching for the universe cuz its all mines...and i refuse to settle for less...and those that do fuck wit me on a regular knows u fuck wit me your stuck with me and sticking with me like i stick with you knows we're going places but anyway its 7:25Am and i'm bout to watch tv until i get sleepy i'll probably blog again tonight dun dun's laters....
May 13th 2008
I've had a good day/evening with 2 out of the entire group...actually 3...I'm helping Felicia with her paper again... and also discussing problems with Egan (Big Bro) In my eyes even though i seem like i am the crutch or the Advice dude to come to from time to time...but hey not everyone is perfect...but on thing that has been constantly making me stay up at night...which is the real reason why i rarely sleep now is....
The fact that i'm still not happy with anything in the least bit, given the fact i love the people around me and support some of the shit that they are doing...well most of them...for example I'm extremely proud that Ty is on his Grown Man shit and doing the damn thing...getting ready to show the world how much of a good father he'll be and become...To my future Godson Mon'Tay Ty'rell Walker...I cant wait to hold him and take pictures with my nephew...lol Its kinda akward to say that cuz i'm not use to being so close to being a uncle in the first place...not so soon...and that is my 2nd god child....my first god child is Nijah'...I love her dearly but due to how shit is in this blasted world i dont see her as often as i would like but i due know she is doing extremely well cuz her mother (My bestfriend Candace) also keeps me updated on her and the fam...but i know in my heart and all Tyler is going to be a extraordinary father...
but anyway back to the subject at hand i've discussed this with Egan earlier and i do not beleive Someone close to me i hold as a brother of the highest caliber getting engaged so soon was a terrible mistake i've seen this move (Situation) happen multiple times and it doesnt end right at all...it's like watching a movie while rooting for the bad guy but no need to watch the end because the bad guy typically dies right?...well thats how i feel about it..
on top of that the way he is going about it is completely ass backwards why get engaged to someone whom you know for so little time...and i do mean little time...i understand its egagement but still the next step would be marriage coorect? and usually i'm quite quiet about things of that nature and this time its getting out of hand too soon and too quickly because someone's judgement is quickly clouded and fogged to where he cant see his own hand or the ground he walks on...i'm not really befuddled at the fact that this has happen but the events thats partaking are not in line with life itself....i dont understand how some folk mary young unless you have a child out of wedlock then it is understandable but typically the person your forced to marry is or has played some role in your life from childhood days correct?
I will never understand that personally because my expiriences with love it self has taught me few lessons that only a hard headed person would know and doing with me beleiving in what goes around comes around i have yet to receive my just deserts for my wrong doing as far as relationships so i know i will not find true love or happiness until that flaw is fufilled...Therefore so honestly until some female attempts to show me otherwise i'll just be feeling as if i am intended to be fucked over in the game...but then again i feel as if one of my comrades beleives in chasing money and women coming along with it...but he shows he's into chasing women over money...like they say actions speak very louder and clearer than words....And i believe in my brother more than anyone else has ever believed in anyone because of the times when we were down we came out stronger than ever but than eventually there will be 2 different paths taken instead of 1.....I dread that day to happen but it will...
but i dread the day to come any sooner than you would think...I am hell bent on making every good thing last forever because i am The One who is determined to make sure Me,Egan,Chris,Felicia,Angel,Tyler,And Mommy Alicia JaKobe All Stay United because if this comes to and end this will be the final act and there will be no sequel to anything...
I felt i shown my loyalty countless times when thing were hetic even when shit wasnt fair on our end i still stood and marched on and even burned bridges and still i receive no thanks or nothing...only because i am not in it for the success that comes with it..but simply for the love and Admiration that comes with being loyal and i'll be damned if it all falls the fuck apart..even if karma wants to give me my just due rather its in relationship or bonds i've had i refuse to sever those bonds for no one and nobody and i intend for it to stay that fucking way
The fact that i'm still not happy with anything in the least bit, given the fact i love the people around me and support some of the shit that they are doing...well most of them...for example I'm extremely proud that Ty is on his Grown Man shit and doing the damn thing...getting ready to show the world how much of a good father he'll be and become...To my future Godson Mon'Tay Ty'rell Walker...I cant wait to hold him and take pictures with my nephew...lol Its kinda akward to say that cuz i'm not use to being so close to being a uncle in the first place...not so soon...and that is my 2nd god child....my first god child is Nijah'...I love her dearly but due to how shit is in this blasted world i dont see her as often as i would like but i due know she is doing extremely well cuz her mother (My bestfriend Candace) also keeps me updated on her and the fam...but i know in my heart and all Tyler is going to be a extraordinary father...
but anyway back to the subject at hand i've discussed this with Egan earlier and i do not beleive Someone close to me i hold as a brother of the highest caliber getting engaged so soon was a terrible mistake i've seen this move (Situation) happen multiple times and it doesnt end right at all...it's like watching a movie while rooting for the bad guy but no need to watch the end because the bad guy typically dies right?...well thats how i feel about it..
on top of that the way he is going about it is completely ass backwards why get engaged to someone whom you know for so little time...and i do mean little time...i understand its egagement but still the next step would be marriage coorect? and usually i'm quite quiet about things of that nature and this time its getting out of hand too soon and too quickly because someone's judgement is quickly clouded and fogged to where he cant see his own hand or the ground he walks on...i'm not really befuddled at the fact that this has happen but the events thats partaking are not in line with life itself....i dont understand how some folk mary young unless you have a child out of wedlock then it is understandable but typically the person your forced to marry is or has played some role in your life from childhood days correct?
I will never understand that personally because my expiriences with love it self has taught me few lessons that only a hard headed person would know and doing with me beleiving in what goes around comes around i have yet to receive my just deserts for my wrong doing as far as relationships so i know i will not find true love or happiness until that flaw is fufilled...Therefore so honestly until some female attempts to show me otherwise i'll just be feeling as if i am intended to be fucked over in the game...but then again i feel as if one of my comrades beleives in chasing money and women coming along with it...but he shows he's into chasing women over money...like they say actions speak very louder and clearer than words....And i believe in my brother more than anyone else has ever believed in anyone because of the times when we were down we came out stronger than ever but than eventually there will be 2 different paths taken instead of 1.....I dread that day to happen but it will...
but i dread the day to come any sooner than you would think...I am hell bent on making every good thing last forever because i am The One who is determined to make sure Me,Egan,Chris,Felicia,Angel,Tyler,And Mommy Alicia JaKobe All Stay United because if this comes to and end this will be the final act and there will be no sequel to anything...
I felt i shown my loyalty countless times when thing were hetic even when shit wasnt fair on our end i still stood and marched on and even burned bridges and still i receive no thanks or nothing...only because i am not in it for the success that comes with it..but simply for the love and Admiration that comes with being loyal and i'll be damned if it all falls the fuck apart..even if karma wants to give me my just due rather its in relationship or bonds i've had i refuse to sever those bonds for no one and nobody and i intend for it to stay that fucking way
Another May 8th Post
I've been Thinking yet again...the more i plot on trying to search for something i tend to not want it if i cant have it..but it is what i cant have that makes me thrive and love the thrill of a challenge..
take a second...listen to the beat of your heart...beat...beat...beat...beat..beat....I'm pretty sure your probably trying to figure what i'm getting at...Nothin' in particular just throwing thoughts out there which is the whole point of the title saying something new...but other than that on some real talk yo, I've figured out that certain things in this world will never be the same as thing in the past coming back to haunt me...I'm tired of seeing some of the same old people rather its me running into them..or just seeing someone i know talk to them out of pure curiosity...because it cause nothing but madd trouble...and I hate back tracking seriously...dont get me wrong but it is only certain people in this world worth back tracking for..but even then things will never be the same...
But on another note i've been thinking about why i have not been happy or estatic as i once was..I mean yeah to those whom talk to me on a regular i may seem as if i aint losing it on the inside but i am...no doubt about that one...and i have people i can talk to on the regular but no one actually seem's to get what i be saying...that or think i am talkin out the side of my neck in..but thats cool though..Eventually someone has to see what i be saying most of the time...
And once school starts in the fall i'm hungry so i'm get back on my grind and knock out what i've been missing..cuz as of lately...I AM WHAT THE GAME'S BEEN FUCKING MISSING!!!...
Once the game see's Sincere (Me B.k.a Rick Ray) return and how i'm grind it back out shit is going to hit he fan...only thing i want is my happiness...and to destroy those who think bad or doubt me...by being successful...in the most elaborate flamboyant way known...yall thought 50 was terrible...But anyway i'm done i'm about to finish watching the Boston game with mommy so laterz folk i'll probably update tomorrow...
take a second...listen to the beat of your heart...beat...beat...beat...beat..beat....I'm pretty sure your probably trying to figure what i'm getting at...Nothin' in particular just throwing thoughts out there which is the whole point of the title saying something new...but other than that on some real talk yo, I've figured out that certain things in this world will never be the same as thing in the past coming back to haunt me...I'm tired of seeing some of the same old people rather its me running into them..or just seeing someone i know talk to them out of pure curiosity...because it cause nothing but madd trouble...and I hate back tracking seriously...dont get me wrong but it is only certain people in this world worth back tracking for..but even then things will never be the same...
But on another note i've been thinking about why i have not been happy or estatic as i once was..I mean yeah to those whom talk to me on a regular i may seem as if i aint losing it on the inside but i am...no doubt about that one...and i have people i can talk to on the regular but no one actually seem's to get what i be saying...that or think i am talkin out the side of my neck in..but thats cool though..Eventually someone has to see what i be saying most of the time...
And once school starts in the fall i'm hungry so i'm get back on my grind and knock out what i've been missing..cuz as of lately...I AM WHAT THE GAME'S BEEN FUCKING MISSING!!!...
Once the game see's Sincere (Me B.k.a Rick Ray) return and how i'm grind it back out shit is going to hit he fan...only thing i want is my happiness...and to destroy those who think bad or doubt me...by being successful...in the most elaborate flamboyant way known...yall thought 50 was terrible...But anyway i'm done i'm about to finish watching the Boston game with mommy so laterz folk i'll probably update tomorrow...
May 6th 2008's Post
One Thing Leads To Another....
One thing that i have noticed getting older in this blasted world is...Things do get harder but they that does not kill you makes u stronger...Out of pure curiosity i began to think to myself like i normally do since those that i would like to tell my every thought to are typically busy.and or usually make me forget about the pains and stresses of the world...And i would like to let whom ever is reading this that if you know me on a personal basis i want you to know personally first hand to sit and think...and possibly imagine and or talk a walk with me if you will in to my thoughts for the time being....Imagine.....close your eyes after you read this to kinda get a mental picture on what i'm trying to paint for you to see how i see the world and some of the things i've been through and understand what and why i am what i am...but back to the scenario at hand...later b4 this entry is over you'll probably have more insight on Not only "Sincere" but Roderic...Over the years i've been in search of something and someone to be completely loyal to..Cuz over the years i've lost alot of things i held dear to me on a very high personal level...Those i called family...Blood if you will...had turned on me...put me down...over petty shit at that but thats the past and i'm not about to get to deep off into that....but i will admit this that out of all those people who left me for dead like i was broke or done for i'm still standing and found those i really know i can be here...Chris, Felicia, Angel, Egan, Tyler, Mommy, Kobe, Alicia..And last but not least My Female bestfriends outside of those whom i named...Brittany, Cinnamon Falisha....They know where they stand within my heart...But as far the following people i've named i wanted to step back and personally break down what i havent told those whom i hold dearly for a bit....and yes i will break down every person except for the 2 babies Kobe And Alicia....Chris- There's pretty much nothing much to say..especially since we've been surrounded by one another for about a decade and some change...Felicia-Theres alot to say...I'm glad we've got a good connection i look at you as the lil sister i've always wanted and never had so i thank u from the bottom of my heart for being there and i cherish every moment we have when we conversate.Tyler-Bro Bro..You already know how proud i am since i've told you this from our mini 1-on-1 conversations and glad your making the right choices and you know i'm here for you every step of the way...and thank you for making me the God-father of your son...lol my nephew...I will accept that role whole heartedly even If britt may not like it.....Egan- Big bro...You mah dude and you know i have your back through thick and thin...even if your stubborn as fuck to make air headed decisions but its all love..plus you've supported me and some of my decisions even some of the dumb ones we've made together and was at my courtdate and held me down when i caught my lil episode in Wayne county dun dun...Angel-I know your constantly busy and all but your my homie even from that conversation we had about 2 years ago when we set down and politic'd about everything so your know your in my heart also....Mommy (Maulene)-Theres alot i can say about you...but i'll just start it off with a thank you and i love you...as if you were my own mother...and thanks for the things you've done for me and Chris making us feel as if we definitily family ya know...also and just like i told everyone else...I'ma show you right along with the world my potential and show you how i can stand on my 2 feet...and i know i may not confide in you but trust in due time i will...i'll open up and let you know any and everything and this is only the beginning...To all my female bestfriends you know whom yall are and i'm pretty much done typing for now but most def...real talk the next blog is strictly for yall i'ma keep doing right and hold me down...and i got ya...and to Brittany B.Jackson....You know its been damn near 3 years and your my Fav bestfriend of them all due to what we've been through and also your like a spittin' image of myself (Mentally) you irk my nerves just like i do yours but please dont forget about me...Love YaLike I've told everyone "Stick Wit Me We're Going Places' I meant and still mean every last word of it...they say the sky's the limit...well i say to hell with the sky i refuse to let it stop there we're aiming for the stars people and we're en route to it....God Bless everylast one of yall and yall respective family's who've made me feel welcomed in the best intrest and i love everyone of yall...had to get this off of my chest and update you all with a blog....
One thing that i have noticed getting older in this blasted world is...Things do get harder but they that does not kill you makes u stronger...Out of pure curiosity i began to think to myself like i normally do since those that i would like to tell my every thought to are typically busy.and or usually make me forget about the pains and stresses of the world...And i would like to let whom ever is reading this that if you know me on a personal basis i want you to know personally first hand to sit and think...and possibly imagine and or talk a walk with me if you will in to my thoughts for the time being....Imagine.....close your eyes after you read this to kinda get a mental picture on what i'm trying to paint for you to see how i see the world and some of the things i've been through and understand what and why i am what i am...but back to the scenario at hand...later b4 this entry is over you'll probably have more insight on Not only "Sincere" but Roderic...Over the years i've been in search of something and someone to be completely loyal to..Cuz over the years i've lost alot of things i held dear to me on a very high personal level...Those i called family...Blood if you will...had turned on me...put me down...over petty shit at that but thats the past and i'm not about to get to deep off into that....but i will admit this that out of all those people who left me for dead like i was broke or done for i'm still standing and found those i really know i can be here...Chris, Felicia, Angel, Egan, Tyler, Mommy, Kobe, Alicia..And last but not least My Female bestfriends outside of those whom i named...Brittany, Cinnamon Falisha....They know where they stand within my heart...But as far the following people i've named i wanted to step back and personally break down what i havent told those whom i hold dearly for a bit....and yes i will break down every person except for the 2 babies Kobe And Alicia....Chris- There's pretty much nothing much to say..especially since we've been surrounded by one another for about a decade and some change...Felicia-Theres alot to say...I'm glad we've got a good connection i look at you as the lil sister i've always wanted and never had so i thank u from the bottom of my heart for being there and i cherish every moment we have when we conversate.Tyler-Bro Bro..You already know how proud i am since i've told you this from our mini 1-on-1 conversations and glad your making the right choices and you know i'm here for you every step of the way...and thank you for making me the God-father of your son...lol my nephew...I will accept that role whole heartedly even If britt may not like it.....Egan- Big bro...You mah dude and you know i have your back through thick and thin...even if your stubborn as fuck to make air headed decisions but its all love..plus you've supported me and some of my decisions even some of the dumb ones we've made together and was at my courtdate and held me down when i caught my lil episode in Wayne county dun dun...Angel-I know your constantly busy and all but your my homie even from that conversation we had about 2 years ago when we set down and politic'd about everything so your know your in my heart also....Mommy (Maulene)-Theres alot i can say about you...but i'll just start it off with a thank you and i love you...as if you were my own mother...and thanks for the things you've done for me and Chris making us feel as if we definitily family ya know...also and just like i told everyone else...I'ma show you right along with the world my potential and show you how i can stand on my 2 feet...and i know i may not confide in you but trust in due time i will...i'll open up and let you know any and everything and this is only the beginning...To all my female bestfriends you know whom yall are and i'm pretty much done typing for now but most def...real talk the next blog is strictly for yall i'ma keep doing right and hold me down...and i got ya...and to Brittany B.Jackson....You know its been damn near 3 years and your my Fav bestfriend of them all due to what we've been through and also your like a spittin' image of myself (Mentally) you irk my nerves just like i do yours but please dont forget about me...Love YaLike I've told everyone "Stick Wit Me We're Going Places' I meant and still mean every last word of it...they say the sky's the limit...well i say to hell with the sky i refuse to let it stop there we're aiming for the stars people and we're en route to it....God Bless everylast one of yall and yall respective family's who've made me feel welcomed in the best intrest and i love everyone of yall...had to get this off of my chest and update you all with a blog....
Past Post
I'll Be Uploading older post's of mines thats seen on myspace to my subscriber's (What Few I Do Have) so bare with me people if they all have the same date as posted ok?
My Opening Blog...
Hiya blogger people...I've finally was talked into doing one of these for recreation now that i do blogs on myspace (Myspace.com/rickray05)..But this here is just my opening blog for anyone who would like to know and or read just to be reading or seeing whats going on in someone else's world maybe mines is more complex or possibly worse than yours but anyway i'ma throw some things on here from random thoughts to things thats bothering me on a constant basis because sometimes i do not have access to anyone to talk to or they probably pissed me off so this would by only way to vent so i'ma try to update this as much as possbile alright? oh and to the reader please if your here yo leave a comment or something befriend me ya dig?
Monday, May 19, 2008
In My Mind
Whattup world its ya boi Sincere again...Bloggin' fresh thoughts and updating since i said i'd keep this blog updated regularly b4 i'd blog when i wanted but i feel this here is what keeps me somewhat sane since no one really asks or sits down and conversates with me...Just even if its for a few minutes...I love conversating just as much as blogging because blogs cant up and walk away when you get into the heat of a good conversation even if your listening but anyway i've been feeling out of it as well as down for the past few days....
Whats the point of having 3 female bestfriends who dont call you? Dont conversate with you ( The exception of Cinnamon)...and rarely ever see anymore...I dont talk to Swiper (Falisha) as often as i once did....I dont talk to Brittany as much as i did or used to since she dont talk to me no more since she was my main bestfriend...which is some complete BS....Cinnamon i talked to her day in day out..only because she loves to talk and listen so i guess i'm content with that for now...
outside of that i've seen one of the shortest engagements ever...and only bad thing is someone's sister is what cause the end of this...wow and the person believed it could've been me or some one else snitching wow shows who's paranoid and who aint right?...Also i've been thinking about some of the things me and Kandis was talking about that one day we had our serious conversation...its funny she kept my strawberry letter...it kinda made me feel warmer on the inside...
I miss having a girlfriend but then again it wouldnt work out because given the past...either from cheating on or cheated...it kinda bothers me that i had alot of potential around me...but dont bother to put it to use for many reasons but none to name right now...
and i hate the fact i've been constantly thinking of my ex alot even after the fact we ended on a sour note and due to the fact i beleive that the person she is....matter of fact i refuse to get off into that story because i'm already thinking of her..i never have regrets but i do think in the back of my mind if we wouldnt have started fucking last summer we'd still be friends atleast...because you know they say sex alters the playing field...and its a proven fact over and over again...and some shit is better left unsettled..closure would be the last thing on my mind...but anyway on with bloggin of random thoughts...
Why is it whoever is reading these blogs..Yes You The Fucking Reader...never leaves a comment or show the u were here is it that you do not understand where i am coming from or is it a shock that someone like myself is very capable of putting words together...lol i have a way with words dont i?
plus its not often u get me to talk professional or non-niggerish...cuz most of you people of your stature are not worth the words of a civilized person like myself...also i was taught its better to be thought dumb than open your mouth and reveal all knowledge..with that said dont assume "Oh he's not a dummy afterall" cuz you'd be selling yourself extremely short thinking this or any of my previous blogs are something of showing my intelligent side...its really not its just i've been suffering from a horrid case of insomnia cuz of me thinking too much and or heartache...so catch up dummie get your vocab up if u dont know what insomnia is.
also let me add it seems when certain people read anything i say i get down played i dont get no "That was nice" or "That kid knows his shit" i'm glad i'm in bloggin for the fact of remaining sane and or for the love of being me...or i'd be highly pissed dont no one ever tell me your writing skills are quite dope....is it i dont talk about what dont intrests u in the first place? oh well move on to the next blog...or is it i dont talk about bouncing pussy's and how many hoes i fucked? oh well get over it...i do things of the such because i am a guy but i aint ignorant with it in the least bit and this just happens to be one of my very many random thoughts...
People never realize how committed to friends and those i call Fam until its too late...i mean really i'm all in and down for anything anywhere any given time...and really i'm in it for the love and admiration even if its not for the respect but hey fuck it...I love being the unsung hero....i just hate how certain people's attitude change...Its like if you've been with me for so long or even just act one way then another when u catch a attitude its pointless as fuck....but i suffer from that same clothe...so i aint gonna complain too much about that
anywho...why is it some folk just expect me to be "The Chosen 1" my name aint fucking Lebron...i'm only Rick (Roderic If You Nasty)...A.k.a Sincere one and only who does what he does when he does it..and i love being there for my peoples (Check previous blogs to see who) just that if u dont call me and or tell me whats up or whats eating at you i cant help u if u dont help yourself dun dun...
As far as this summer is concerned i'm having mad fun...but i do miss school i wanna go back to school this fall so when and if it does fall through and happens i'm on point with it and will get my shit str8 so i can get my degreee and better myself to the point of reaching for the universe cuz its all mines...and i refuse to settle for less...and those that do fuck wit me on a regular knows u fuck wit me your stuck with me and sticking with me like i stick with you knows we're going places but anyway its 7:25Am and i'm bout to watch tv until i get sleepy i'll probably blog again tonight dun dun's laters....
Whats the point of having 3 female bestfriends who dont call you? Dont conversate with you ( The exception of Cinnamon)...and rarely ever see anymore...I dont talk to Swiper (Falisha) as often as i once did....I dont talk to Brittany as much as i did or used to since she dont talk to me no more since she was my main bestfriend...which is some complete BS....Cinnamon i talked to her day in day out..only because she loves to talk and listen so i guess i'm content with that for now...
outside of that i've seen one of the shortest engagements ever...and only bad thing is someone's sister is what cause the end of this...wow and the person believed it could've been me or some one else snitching wow shows who's paranoid and who aint right?...Also i've been thinking about some of the things me and Kandis was talking about that one day we had our serious conversation...its funny she kept my strawberry letter...it kinda made me feel warmer on the inside...
I miss having a girlfriend but then again it wouldnt work out because given the past...either from cheating on or cheated...it kinda bothers me that i had alot of potential around me...but dont bother to put it to use for many reasons but none to name right now...
and i hate the fact i've been constantly thinking of my ex alot even after the fact we ended on a sour note and due to the fact i beleive that the person she is....matter of fact i refuse to get off into that story because i'm already thinking of her..i never have regrets but i do think in the back of my mind if we wouldnt have started fucking last summer we'd still be friends atleast...because you know they say sex alters the playing field...and its a proven fact over and over again...and some shit is better left unsettled..closure would be the last thing on my mind...but anyway on with bloggin of random thoughts...
Why is it whoever is reading these blogs..Yes You The Fucking Reader...never leaves a comment or show the u were here is it that you do not understand where i am coming from or is it a shock that someone like myself is very capable of putting words together...lol i have a way with words dont i?
plus its not often u get me to talk professional or non-niggerish...cuz most of you people of your stature are not worth the words of a civilized person like myself...also i was taught its better to be thought dumb than open your mouth and reveal all knowledge..with that said dont assume "Oh he's not a dummy afterall" cuz you'd be selling yourself extremely short thinking this or any of my previous blogs are something of showing my intelligent side...its really not its just i've been suffering from a horrid case of insomnia cuz of me thinking too much and or heartache...so catch up dummie get your vocab up if u dont know what insomnia is.
also let me add it seems when certain people read anything i say i get down played i dont get no "That was nice" or "That kid knows his shit" i'm glad i'm in bloggin for the fact of remaining sane and or for the love of being me...or i'd be highly pissed dont no one ever tell me your writing skills are quite dope....is it i dont talk about what dont intrests u in the first place? oh well move on to the next blog...or is it i dont talk about bouncing pussy's and how many hoes i fucked? oh well get over it...i do things of the such because i am a guy but i aint ignorant with it in the least bit and this just happens to be one of my very many random thoughts...
People never realize how committed to friends and those i call Fam until its too late...i mean really i'm all in and down for anything anywhere any given time...and really i'm in it for the love and admiration even if its not for the respect but hey fuck it...I love being the unsung hero....i just hate how certain people's attitude change...Its like if you've been with me for so long or even just act one way then another when u catch a attitude its pointless as fuck....but i suffer from that same clothe...so i aint gonna complain too much about that
anywho...why is it some folk just expect me to be "The Chosen 1" my name aint fucking Lebron...i'm only Rick (Roderic If You Nasty)...A.k.a Sincere one and only who does what he does when he does it..and i love being there for my peoples (Check previous blogs to see who) just that if u dont call me and or tell me whats up or whats eating at you i cant help u if u dont help yourself dun dun...
As far as this summer is concerned i'm having mad fun...but i do miss school i wanna go back to school this fall so when and if it does fall through and happens i'm on point with it and will get my shit str8 so i can get my degreee and better myself to the point of reaching for the universe cuz its all mines...and i refuse to settle for less...and those that do fuck wit me on a regular knows u fuck wit me your stuck with me and sticking with me like i stick with you knows we're going places but anyway its 7:25Am and i'm bout to watch tv until i get sleepy i'll probably blog again tonight dun dun's laters....
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Ever Felt?
Ever Felt?
Current mood:Late
I sit here and feel lonely from time to time...for some odd reason...which really isnt like me since i'm always surrounded with someone,even if their presence is physically needed or called for...but certain shit feels whats the term i'm looking for....minimal...maybe i've been sitting around reminiscing on the times where it was just me and no one else...and it brought a cold feeling back into my heart..I've grown out of that along time ago but i do understand that sometimes you have to face your past to move on to your future...i thought that i've did that constantly...but feelings with or toward certain people just wont ever fade will though?...Like your just mentally or physically attached to them and or that person?
Like I'm constantly wondering you know...That What if? factor as if u wonder what could've happened if u did that one thing differently?...Would yall still be together? would it be the same if her friends didnt get in her head? would it be different if her friends friends told u she was a hoe cautioned you to stay back b4 u got hurt?
Oh well they dont say its illegal for u to dream or think...right or did bush put a oil tax and oil law on that?...Anyway i'm off to Beam Up To Scotty for the time being or talk to someone laterz yo
Current mood:Late
I sit here and feel lonely from time to time...for some odd reason...which really isnt like me since i'm always surrounded with someone,even if their presence is physically needed or called for...but certain shit feels whats the term i'm looking for....minimal...maybe i've been sitting around reminiscing on the times where it was just me and no one else...and it brought a cold feeling back into my heart..I've grown out of that along time ago but i do understand that sometimes you have to face your past to move on to your future...i thought that i've did that constantly...but feelings with or toward certain people just wont ever fade will though?...Like your just mentally or physically attached to them and or that person?
Like I'm constantly wondering you know...That What if? factor as if u wonder what could've happened if u did that one thing differently?...Would yall still be together? would it be the same if her friends didnt get in her head? would it be different if her friends friends told u she was a hoe cautioned you to stay back b4 u got hurt?
Oh well they dont say its illegal for u to dream or think...right or did bush put a oil tax and oil law on that?...Anyway i'm off to Beam Up To Scotty for the time being or talk to someone laterz yo
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Test Of Time Strength And Compassion
Test Of Time Strength And Compassion
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Blogging
I've had a good day/evening with 2 out of the entire group...actually 3...I'm helping Felicia with her paper again... and also discussing problems with Egan (Big Bro) In my eyes even though i seem like i am the crutch or the Advice dude to come to from time to time...but hey not everyone is perfect...but on thing that has been constantly making me stay up at night...which is the real reason why i rarely sleep now is....
The fact that i'm still not happy with anything in the least bit, given the fact i love the people around me and support some of the shit that they are doing...well most of them...for example I'm extremely proud that Ty is on his Grown Man shit and doing the damn thing...getting ready to show the world how much of a good father he'll be and become...To my future Godson Mon'Tay Ty'rell Walker...I cant wait to hold him and take pictures with my nephew...lol Its kinda akward to say that cuz i'm not use to being so close to being a uncle in the first place...not so soon...and that is my 2nd god child....my first god child is Nijah'...I love her dearly but due to how shit is in this blasted world i dont see her as often as i would like but i due know she is doing extremely well cuz her mother (My bestfriend Candace) also keeps me updated on her and the fam...but i know in my heart and all Tyler is going to be a extraordinary father...
but anyway back to the subject at hand i've discussed this with Egan earlier and i do not beleive Someone close to me i hold as a brother of the highest caliber getting engaged so soon was a terrible mistake i've seen this move (Situation) happen multiple times and it doesnt end right at all...it's like watching a movie while rooting for the bad guy but no need to watch the end because the bad guy typically dies right?...well thats how i feel about it..
on top of that the way he is going about it is completely ass backwards why get engaged to someone whom you know for so little time...and i do mean little time...i understand its egagement but still the next step would be marriage coorect? and usually i'm quite quiet about things of that nature and this time its getting out of hand too soon and too quickly because someone's judgement is quickly clouded and fogged to where he cant see his own hand or the ground he walks on...i'm not really befuddled at the fact that this has happen but the events thats partaking are not in line with life itself....i dont understand how some folk mary young unless you have a child out of wedlock then it is understandable but typically the person your forced to marry is or has played some role in your life from childhood days correct?
I will never understand that personally because my expiriences with love it self has taught me few lessons that only a hard headed person would know and doing with me beleiving in what goes around comes around i have yet to receive my just deserts for my wrong doing as far as relationships so i know i will not find true love or happiness until that flaw is fufilled...Therefore so honestly until some female attempts to show me otherwise i'll just be feeling as if i am intended to be fucked over in the game...but then again i feel as if one of my comrades beleives in chasing money and women coming along with it...but he shows he's into chasing women over money...like they say actions speak very louder and clearer than words....And i believe in my brother more than anyone else has ever believed in anyone because of the times when we were down we came out stronger than ever but than eventually there will be 2 different paths taken instead of 1.....I dread that day to happen but it will...
but i dread the day to come any sooner than you would think...I am hell bent on making every good thing last forever because i am The One who is determined to make sure Me,Egan,Chris,Felicia,Angel,Tyler,And Mommy Alicia JaKobe All Stay United because if this comes to and end this will be the final act and there will be no sequel to anything...
I felt i shown my loyalty countless times when thing were hetic even when shit wasnt fair on our end i still stood and marched on and even burned bridges and still i receive no thanks or nothing...only because i am not in it for the success that comes with it..but simply for the love and Admiration that comes with being loyal and i'll be damned if it all falls the fuck apart..even if karma wants to give me my just due rather its in relationship or bonds i've had i refuse to sever those bonds for no one and nobody and i intend for it to stay that fucking way
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Blogging
I've had a good day/evening with 2 out of the entire group...actually 3...I'm helping Felicia with her paper again... and also discussing problems with Egan (Big Bro) In my eyes even though i seem like i am the crutch or the Advice dude to come to from time to time...but hey not everyone is perfect...but on thing that has been constantly making me stay up at night...which is the real reason why i rarely sleep now is....
The fact that i'm still not happy with anything in the least bit, given the fact i love the people around me and support some of the shit that they are doing...well most of them...for example I'm extremely proud that Ty is on his Grown Man shit and doing the damn thing...getting ready to show the world how much of a good father he'll be and become...To my future Godson Mon'Tay Ty'rell Walker...I cant wait to hold him and take pictures with my nephew...lol Its kinda akward to say that cuz i'm not use to being so close to being a uncle in the first place...not so soon...and that is my 2nd god child....my first god child is Nijah'...I love her dearly but due to how shit is in this blasted world i dont see her as often as i would like but i due know she is doing extremely well cuz her mother (My bestfriend Candace) also keeps me updated on her and the fam...but i know in my heart and all Tyler is going to be a extraordinary father...
but anyway back to the subject at hand i've discussed this with Egan earlier and i do not beleive Someone close to me i hold as a brother of the highest caliber getting engaged so soon was a terrible mistake i've seen this move (Situation) happen multiple times and it doesnt end right at all...it's like watching a movie while rooting for the bad guy but no need to watch the end because the bad guy typically dies right?...well thats how i feel about it..
on top of that the way he is going about it is completely ass backwards why get engaged to someone whom you know for so little time...and i do mean little time...i understand its egagement but still the next step would be marriage coorect? and usually i'm quite quiet about things of that nature and this time its getting out of hand too soon and too quickly because someone's judgement is quickly clouded and fogged to where he cant see his own hand or the ground he walks on...i'm not really befuddled at the fact that this has happen but the events thats partaking are not in line with life itself....i dont understand how some folk mary young unless you have a child out of wedlock then it is understandable but typically the person your forced to marry is or has played some role in your life from childhood days correct?
I will never understand that personally because my expiriences with love it self has taught me few lessons that only a hard headed person would know and doing with me beleiving in what goes around comes around i have yet to receive my just deserts for my wrong doing as far as relationships so i know i will not find true love or happiness until that flaw is fufilled...Therefore so honestly until some female attempts to show me otherwise i'll just be feeling as if i am intended to be fucked over in the game...but then again i feel as if one of my comrades beleives in chasing money and women coming along with it...but he shows he's into chasing women over money...like they say actions speak very louder and clearer than words....And i believe in my brother more than anyone else has ever believed in anyone because of the times when we were down we came out stronger than ever but than eventually there will be 2 different paths taken instead of 1.....I dread that day to happen but it will...
but i dread the day to come any sooner than you would think...I am hell bent on making every good thing last forever because i am The One who is determined to make sure Me,Egan,Chris,Felicia,Angel,Tyler,And Mommy Alicia JaKobe All Stay United because if this comes to and end this will be the final act and there will be no sequel to anything...
I felt i shown my loyalty countless times when thing were hetic even when shit wasnt fair on our end i still stood and marched on and even burned bridges and still i receive no thanks or nothing...only because i am not in it for the success that comes with it..but simply for the love and Admiration that comes with being loyal and i'll be damned if it all falls the fuck apart..even if karma wants to give me my just due rather its in relationship or bonds i've had i refuse to sever those bonds for no one and nobody and i intend for it to stay that fucking way
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Something New...I Try To Update EveryChance I Get
Something New...I Try To Update EveryChance I Get
Category: Blogging
I've been Thinking yet again...the more i plot on trying to search for something i tend to not want it if i cant have it..but it is what i cant have that makes me thrive and love the thrill of a challenge..
take a second...listen to the beat of your heart...beat...beat...beat...beat..beat....I'm pretty sure your probably trying to figure what i'm getting at...Nothin' in particular just throwing thoughts out there which is the whole point of the title saying something new...but other than that on some real talk yo, I've figured out that certain things in this world will never be the same as thing in the past coming back to haunt me...I'm tired of seeing some of the same old people rather its me running into them..or just seeing someone i know talk to them out of pure curiosity...because it cause nothing but madd trouble...and I hate back tracking seriously...dont get me wrong but it is only certain people in this world worth back tracking for..but even then things will never be the same...
But on another note i've been thinking about why i have not been happy or estatic as i once was..I mean yeah to those whom talk to me on a regular i may seem as if i aint losing it on the inside but i am...no doubt about that one...and i have people i can talk to on the regular but no one actually seem's to get what i be saying...that or think i am talkin out the side of my neck in..but thats cool though..Eventually someone has to see what i be saying most of the time...
And once school starts in the fall i'm hungry so i'm get back on my grind and knock out what i've been missing..cuz as of lately...I AM WHAT THE GAME'S BEEN FUCKING MISSING!!!...
Once the game see's Sincere (Me B.k.a Rick Ray) return and how i'm grind it back out shit is going to hit he fan...only thing i want is my happiness...and to destroy those who think bad or doubt me...by being successful...in the most elaborate flamboyant way known...yall thought 50 was terrible...But anyway i'm done i'm about to finish watching the Boston game with mommy so laterz folk i'll probably update tomorrow..
Category: Blogging
I've been Thinking yet again...the more i plot on trying to search for something i tend to not want it if i cant have it..but it is what i cant have that makes me thrive and love the thrill of a challenge..
take a second...listen to the beat of your heart...beat...beat...beat...beat..beat....I'm pretty sure your probably trying to figure what i'm getting at...Nothin' in particular just throwing thoughts out there which is the whole point of the title saying something new...but other than that on some real talk yo, I've figured out that certain things in this world will never be the same as thing in the past coming back to haunt me...I'm tired of seeing some of the same old people rather its me running into them..or just seeing someone i know talk to them out of pure curiosity...because it cause nothing but madd trouble...and I hate back tracking seriously...dont get me wrong but it is only certain people in this world worth back tracking for..but even then things will never be the same...
But on another note i've been thinking about why i have not been happy or estatic as i once was..I mean yeah to those whom talk to me on a regular i may seem as if i aint losing it on the inside but i am...no doubt about that one...and i have people i can talk to on the regular but no one actually seem's to get what i be saying...that or think i am talkin out the side of my neck in..but thats cool though..Eventually someone has to see what i be saying most of the time...
And once school starts in the fall i'm hungry so i'm get back on my grind and knock out what i've been missing..cuz as of lately...I AM WHAT THE GAME'S BEEN FUCKING MISSING!!!...
Once the game see's Sincere (Me B.k.a Rick Ray) return and how i'm grind it back out shit is going to hit he fan...only thing i want is my happiness...and to destroy those who think bad or doubt me...by being successful...in the most elaborate flamboyant way known...yall thought 50 was terrible...But anyway i'm done i'm about to finish watching the Boston game with mommy so laterz folk i'll probably update tomorrow..
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
One Thing Leads To Another
One thing that i have noticed getting older in this blasted world is...Things do get harder but they that does not kill you makes u stronger...Out of pure curiosity i began to think to myself like i normally do since those that i would like to tell my every thought to are typically busy.and or usually make me forget about the pains and stresses of the world...And i would like to let whom ever is reading this that if you know me on a personal basis i want you to know personally first hand to sit and think...and possibly imagine and or talk a walk with me if you will in to my thoughts for the time being....
Imagine.....close your eyes after you read this to kinda get a mental picture on what i'm trying to paint for you to see how i see the world and some of the things i've been through and understand what and why i am what i am...but back to the scenario at hand...later b4 this entry is over you'll probably have more insight on Not only "Sincere" but Roderic...
Over the years i've been in search of something and someone to be completely loyal to..Cuz over the years i've lost alot of things i held dear to me on a very high personal level...Those i called family...Blood if you will...had turned on me...put me down...over petty shit at that but thats the past and i'm not about to get to deep off into that....but i will admit this that out of all those people who left me for dead like i was broke or done for i'm still standing and found those i really know i can be here...Chris, Felicia, Angel, Egan, Tyler, Mommy, Kobe, Alicia..And last but not least My Female bestfriends outside of those whom i named...Brittany, Cinnamon Falisha....They know where they stand within my heart...
But as far the following people i've named i wanted to step back and personally break down what i havent told those whom i hold dearly for a bit....and yes i will break down every person except for the 2 babies Kobe And Alicia....
Chris- There's pretty much nothing much to say..especially since we've been surrounded by one another for about a decade and some change...
Felicia-Theres alot to say...I'm glad we've got a good connection i look at you as the lil sister i've always wanted and never had so i thank u from the bottom of my heart for being there and i cherish every moment we have when we conversate.
Tyler-Bro Bro..You already know how proud i am since i've told you this from our mini 1-on-1 conversations and glad your making the right choices and you know i'm here for you every step of the way...and thank you for making me the God-father of your son...lol my nephew...I will accept that role whole heartedly even If britt may not like it.....
Egan- Big bro...You mah dude and you know i have your back through thick and thin...even if your stubborn as fuck to make air headed decisions but its all love..plus you've supported me and some of my decisions even some of the dumb ones we've made together and was at my courtdate and held me down when i caught my lil episode in Wayne county dun dun...
Angel-I know your constantly busy and all but your my homie even from that conversation we had about 2 years ago when we set down and politic'd about everything so your know your in my heart also....
Mommy (Maulene)-Theres alot i can say about you...but i'll just start it off with a thank you and i love you...as if you were my own mother...and thanks for the things you've done for me and Chris making us feel as if we definitily family ya know...also and just like i told everyone else...I'ma show you right along with the world my potential and show you how i can stand on my 2 feet...and i know i may not confide in you but trust in due time i will...i'll open up and let you know any and everything and this is only the beginning...
To all my female bestfriends you know whom yall are and i'm pretty much done typing for now but most def...real talk the next blog is strictly for yall i'ma keep doing right and hold me down...and i got ya...
and to Brittany B.Jackson....You know its been damn near 3 years and your my Fav bestfriend of them all due to what we've been through and also your like a spittin' image of myself (Mentally) you irk my nerves just like i do yours but please dont forget about me...Love Ya
Like I've told everyone "Stick Wit Me We're Going Places' I meant and still mean every last word of it...they say the sky's the limit...well i say to hell with the sky i refuse to let it stop there we're aiming for the stars people and we're en route to it....
God Bless everylast one of yall and yall respective family's who've made me feel welcomed in the best intrest and i love everyone of yall...had to get this off of my chest and update you all with a blog....
Imagine.....close your eyes after you read this to kinda get a mental picture on what i'm trying to paint for you to see how i see the world and some of the things i've been through and understand what and why i am what i am...but back to the scenario at hand...later b4 this entry is over you'll probably have more insight on Not only "Sincere" but Roderic...
Over the years i've been in search of something and someone to be completely loyal to..Cuz over the years i've lost alot of things i held dear to me on a very high personal level...Those i called family...Blood if you will...had turned on me...put me down...over petty shit at that but thats the past and i'm not about to get to deep off into that....but i will admit this that out of all those people who left me for dead like i was broke or done for i'm still standing and found those i really know i can be here...Chris, Felicia, Angel, Egan, Tyler, Mommy, Kobe, Alicia..And last but not least My Female bestfriends outside of those whom i named...Brittany, Cinnamon Falisha....They know where they stand within my heart...
But as far the following people i've named i wanted to step back and personally break down what i havent told those whom i hold dearly for a bit....and yes i will break down every person except for the 2 babies Kobe And Alicia....
Chris- There's pretty much nothing much to say..especially since we've been surrounded by one another for about a decade and some change...
Felicia-Theres alot to say...I'm glad we've got a good connection i look at you as the lil sister i've always wanted and never had so i thank u from the bottom of my heart for being there and i cherish every moment we have when we conversate.
Tyler-Bro Bro..You already know how proud i am since i've told you this from our mini 1-on-1 conversations and glad your making the right choices and you know i'm here for you every step of the way...and thank you for making me the God-father of your son...lol my nephew...I will accept that role whole heartedly even If britt may not like it.....
Egan- Big bro...You mah dude and you know i have your back through thick and thin...even if your stubborn as fuck to make air headed decisions but its all love..plus you've supported me and some of my decisions even some of the dumb ones we've made together and was at my courtdate and held me down when i caught my lil episode in Wayne county dun dun...
Angel-I know your constantly busy and all but your my homie even from that conversation we had about 2 years ago when we set down and politic'd about everything so your know your in my heart also....
Mommy (Maulene)-Theres alot i can say about you...but i'll just start it off with a thank you and i love you...as if you were my own mother...and thanks for the things you've done for me and Chris making us feel as if we definitily family ya know...also and just like i told everyone else...I'ma show you right along with the world my potential and show you how i can stand on my 2 feet...and i know i may not confide in you but trust in due time i will...i'll open up and let you know any and everything and this is only the beginning...
To all my female bestfriends you know whom yall are and i'm pretty much done typing for now but most def...real talk the next blog is strictly for yall i'ma keep doing right and hold me down...and i got ya...
and to Brittany B.Jackson....You know its been damn near 3 years and your my Fav bestfriend of them all due to what we've been through and also your like a spittin' image of myself (Mentally) you irk my nerves just like i do yours but please dont forget about me...Love Ya
Like I've told everyone "Stick Wit Me We're Going Places' I meant and still mean every last word of it...they say the sky's the limit...well i say to hell with the sky i refuse to let it stop there we're aiming for the stars people and we're en route to it....
God Bless everylast one of yall and yall respective family's who've made me feel welcomed in the best intrest and i love everyone of yall...had to get this off of my chest and update you all with a blog....
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