Only reason is cuz this shit is clearly over...
And yet I'm pissed, angry and hurt...
But its a-ok...It Was more than a gr8 expirience...
Depression...Coming..Lol Yes indeedy...But thats what happens
with Terrible break up's or endings with no closure in the least bit...
But you know what?.....It was worth it....I'm not about to sit here and complain
about what is what and what is not...is not...and just simply Go away and crawl under something i can get to and just be alone,....
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That post above is like super late i last typed this at like 3:52Pm of today but never got a chance to finish it and some of my other blogs i started i never finished will be posted sooner or later but hey take this one and be happy bitch...the official time i hit the post button was 8:42pm
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
To Not....
Wattup world? Yet again i find myself becoming more and more miserable that i started and seems like every now and then i lose something i worked hard to get and or try to keep. Fucked up right!? yea, i know its just i would rather have her and these problems and i know for some of my long time readers. You are all probably tired of hearing me whine and lose sleep over this one particular woman...I mean not to say i'm new to this shit as far as relationship's goes in general, but with that said i've done things i'd say i'd never either attempted with a woman i was mentally and physically attached to and then to ave her and the whole "Child" episode play out like it did really made me wanna just go off of the deep end and like black seriously
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It so much shit i want answered but will never get answered rather its from her and or my own crew cuz they were not in this relationship, and yet I'm the one left to be the one why shit turned out the way it did? Am I honestly the reason why it turned out like this? Yes, i brought i on myself but i was building that castle with her and it's like child blocks it got kicked the hell over in millions of pieces. Nonetheless I'm in a pissed S.O.M. (State Of Mind) this is really like not gonna go well for me, how will it go for her? i do not know since she wants to go out and have fun and not have to worry about nothing at all. Shit i care nonetheless but still with all that being said and her feeling like she's trapped and or caged she's free now....
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All i want now is what little stuff is mines that is over there so i can leave her alone and go back to my piece of sanity which is here and the music. This here is really making me hate alot of things and or people, like seriously i dont know why i'm having the same exact problems thats reminds me of the Bridgette nigga...like all of a sudden i've grown very bitter and have alot of animosity to those who have some one in their life rather its a baby momma or girlfriend or fiancee' i mean like because its something i used to believe i had like love and respect and sentimental shit will never ever get you far in a relationship
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I leave my family for a month and come back to open arms like i have not ever left, and yet it feels great but in the same sense i was enjoying where i was at like i felt i got one of the brass rings i chase on the regular...but i feel as if i was wrong as shit...
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And she seemingly does not know she makes herself more of a dream than a reality with the things she says and or claims what makes her feel such a way...there is no more of a way for me to confess my love for her which just might i hope not changes to hatred..i do not go at her in the least bit for revenge or nothing hell i do not even think of that i'll just take it out on my god parents when i go back home(their crib)
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Like i just need a new therapist...Lol i do have one its called Music...its called temporary relief, none the less its temporary i want to go drink myself into a nightly acoma but their is nothing in the liquor cabinet hard enough to make me forget the pangs of this world
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And its always this or your doing that which like really presses me toward the door against my own free will...Well I'm still conversating with this woman while i'm typing this so i'm calling it a night....atleast on the blog note if i cant fall asleep i'll be back sooner than you may think...
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It so much shit i want answered but will never get answered rather its from her and or my own crew cuz they were not in this relationship, and yet I'm the one left to be the one why shit turned out the way it did? Am I honestly the reason why it turned out like this? Yes, i brought i on myself but i was building that castle with her and it's like child blocks it got kicked the hell over in millions of pieces. Nonetheless I'm in a pissed S.O.M. (State Of Mind) this is really like not gonna go well for me, how will it go for her? i do not know since she wants to go out and have fun and not have to worry about nothing at all. Shit i care nonetheless but still with all that being said and her feeling like she's trapped and or caged she's free now....
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All i want now is what little stuff is mines that is over there so i can leave her alone and go back to my piece of sanity which is here and the music. This here is really making me hate alot of things and or people, like seriously i dont know why i'm having the same exact problems thats reminds me of the Bridgette nigga...like all of a sudden i've grown very bitter and have alot of animosity to those who have some one in their life rather its a baby momma or girlfriend or fiancee' i mean like because its something i used to believe i had like love and respect and sentimental shit will never ever get you far in a relationship
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I leave my family for a month and come back to open arms like i have not ever left, and yet it feels great but in the same sense i was enjoying where i was at like i felt i got one of the brass rings i chase on the regular...but i feel as if i was wrong as shit...
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And she seemingly does not know she makes herself more of a dream than a reality with the things she says and or claims what makes her feel such a way...there is no more of a way for me to confess my love for her which just might i hope not changes to hatred..i do not go at her in the least bit for revenge or nothing hell i do not even think of that i'll just take it out on my god parents when i go back home(their crib)
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Like i just need a new therapist...Lol i do have one its called Music...its called temporary relief, none the less its temporary i want to go drink myself into a nightly acoma but their is nothing in the liquor cabinet hard enough to make me forget the pangs of this world
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And its always this or your doing that which like really presses me toward the door against my own free will...Well I'm still conversating with this woman while i'm typing this so i'm calling it a night....atleast on the blog note if i cant fall asleep i'll be back sooner than you may think...
Everywhere Girls...Gimme Feedback I found this googling shit
MISS SWEET AND SOUR - ATLANTA, GA
Pros: The women of Atlanta are quite the strip-club connoisseurs, and even though I don't have official numbers to back this theory up, I'm pretty sure there are more women in Atlanta who own a pole in their house than any other city in the country.
Cons: If you meet a woman from Atlanta in another city, and you're not from Atlanta, she's going to want to move back to Atlanta. So if you're not ready for that move, proceed with caution. Also, if you're not the type of guy who likes their women throwing bows in the club, it's best you stay away altogether.
When You Go: Over the years, the city of Atlanta has undergone a glamourous makeover. This has caused there to be a divide in the type of women who live there. Some of them are the most high-saditty, cosmopolitan, wanna-be-friends-of-Carrie-Bradshaw you will ever meet. Then there are those ATLienettes who keep all the traditions of GRITS (girls raised in the South) alive and well. This is not your father's ATL, so make sure you do a thorough check before you bite into a Georgia peach.
MISS FIGHT IN THE STREET - WASHINGTON, D.C.
Pros: The title says it all. This is a city where good men are few and far between, so if you're a good man, and a D.C. woman has you, she will fight to keep you. And what's even better, she will win.
Cons: If you're ever in the wrong, she will also fight you. And she will win.
When You Go: D.C. women are riders, for real. It's also a city with an abnormal amount of beautiful women who are really doing their thing. Case in point: New D.C. resident, Michelle Obama.
MISS STAY TRYING TO LOOK GOOD - DETROIT, MI
Pros: There is something in the water in Detroit, because most of those women are FINE. Sure they have a couple of 7-and-belows, but they're few and far between. Detroit is one of the few cities where a man's wife can be as fine as his mistress. Ask Kwame Kilpatrick.
Cons: I'm not saying they are gold diggers, but a Detroit woman loves a man with a good job. They're just as independent as any other city of women, but they definitely don't put up with a man who has nothing to offer. You got to have assets, bruh.
When You Go: Know this about a woman from Detroit. She has to get her hair done and it will take her forever. If you and her have a date, and she says she's going to be two hours late because she's still waiting for a dryer, trust me, she's telling the truth.
MISS CULTURE - NEW ORLEANS, LA
Pros: Have you ever talked to a woman from New Orleans? Her voice is fine. If you ever need to deliver some bad news to somebody, get a woman from New Orleans with one of them thick accents to deliver it for you.
Cons: Not all women from New Orleans are tough, but New Orleans is a tough city. So if you ever cross a woman from the 'Nola, she will get one of her crazy ass cousins or play-cousins to whoop your ass. She will do this with little to no hesitation.
When You Go: New Orleans women are the only ones I know who own a Wynton Marsalis album and a Lil Wayne album. If you're looking for that girl who can go to the club and the museum, they have these types in N.O. in bunches.
MISS AIN'T THAT IMPRESSED - LOS ANGELES, CA
Pros: Much like Detroit, L.A. women are stupid fine. But unlike Detroit, L.A. attracts fine women from around the world who to be discovered. They're everywhere, so you can go to Target and end up salivating at the check out counters.
Cons: That girl in Target you think is so fine might have gotten with Ray J. That doesn't make her a groupie either. She's just a victim of consequence, because hey, Brandy's brother shops at Target too.
When You Go: L.A. women have probably seen, met, and partied with every single person you've seen on TV, so don't try to stunt. There are normal women out in L.A. who do date teachers and the like, so it'd behoove you to be real in a city where keeping it real is a scarce quality.
MISS GIRL POWER- BAY AREA, CA
Pros: Strong-minded, that's the first thing I think about when it comes to the women I've met from Northern, California. They also have the gift of gab. I've never met a woman from the Bay who didn't recognize game and couldn't give it back.
Cons: Stubborn as hell. That's the second thing I think about when it comes to the women I've met from Northern California. Now, I must tread lightly since my boss represents The Town, but I'm sure even she can admit that women from the town are just a tad more mulish than women from other parts of the country.
When You Go: This is one of the places of which I'm most familiar, and I can really go in, but I digress. Just know this: Bay Area women demand their respect up front. You can say this holds true from women everywhere, but in the Bay, the demand for respect is ironic because most of them love to dance to Too $hort records. Weird, I know. But that's why you have to love Bay women. They do what they want and make no apologies for it.
MISS WHAT'S YOUR NAME - BOSTON, MA
Pros: Boston is a college town, so if you always want to date women who are under 25 (but over 18, please), this is where you need to be. It's like the fountain of youth with books. Also, a Boston woman will go out in a blizzard with no problem, which says a lot.
Cons: You really have to work to make Boston work for you. The clubs close right on time, and when it comes to a diverse selection of women, Boston has as low of a ranking as their crime rate.
When You Go: I've probably spent more time in Boston than a person who's not from there and did not go to school there should, but two of my best friends have been up there for a couple of years, so it's a city I frequent, and here's what I know: If a Boston woman decides she likes you at a club, she's coming after you, and there's really nothing you can do about it.
MISS ON HER GRIND - PHILADELPHIA, PA
Pros: For some reason, Philly women know how to rock the Tomboy look like no other. They also wear little to no makeup and have an uncanny ability to hang with the boys without trying too hard to be like one of the boys.
Cons: Philly girls always root for Philly teams. They don't have to know the sport, so long as a Philly team is playing, she's rooting for them, which is a huge problem if you're the die-hard fan of another team and your team is playing hers. They also sometimes rock the Tomboy look too often. After all, this was the city that kicked off the whole Jersey dress trend.
When You Go: Musiq Soulchild always has one song on one of his albums that pays homage to a Philly woman, and the one thing he always talks about is her hustle, and it's absolutely true. Every woman I know from Philly is either on her grind to get out of the city, or if she's chose to make it her home, she's on the grind in the city.
MISS NICE GIRL - CHICAGO, IL
Pros: Something about the Second City's women just makes me smile. I can honestly say
I've never met a woman from the 'Go who has made me upset. Approach them appropriately in a club, and even if she doesn't feel you, she'll let you down gently.
Cons: Women from Chi-Town can be too nice, so watch for the okey-doke. And if a woman from Chicago is yours, she's probably smiling at half the dudes in the club because it's in her nature, which means that at some point, you and some dude are going to have a misunderstanding.
When You Go: There's a reason you don't hear that many misogynistic rap songs coming out of Chicago. The women of the Chi are just flat-out nice. I've honestly never met a woman from Chicago who's made me want to call her out her name to her face.
Of course, the last city on this list should be New York, but I've decided not to do it. While I currently do live in New York City, the city is too vast and too diverse to include on this list. At some point, I'm going to write a post dedicated solely to the women of New York and their respected boroughs. Oh, and to the women from the cities and states I did not post, don't trip. You're the only ones I know from there, so I don't have enough information to work with, but you're definitely holding it down.
As for the fellas, I'm interested in knowing which cities the women they like come from. Give me a top 5, if you can. I'm curious.
Pros: The women of Atlanta are quite the strip-club connoisseurs, and even though I don't have official numbers to back this theory up, I'm pretty sure there are more women in Atlanta who own a pole in their house than any other city in the country.
Cons: If you meet a woman from Atlanta in another city, and you're not from Atlanta, she's going to want to move back to Atlanta. So if you're not ready for that move, proceed with caution. Also, if you're not the type of guy who likes their women throwing bows in the club, it's best you stay away altogether.
When You Go: Over the years, the city of Atlanta has undergone a glamourous makeover. This has caused there to be a divide in the type of women who live there. Some of them are the most high-saditty, cosmopolitan, wanna-be-friends-of-Carrie-Bradshaw you will ever meet. Then there are those ATLienettes who keep all the traditions of GRITS (girls raised in the South) alive and well. This is not your father's ATL, so make sure you do a thorough check before you bite into a Georgia peach.
MISS FIGHT IN THE STREET - WASHINGTON, D.C.
Pros: The title says it all. This is a city where good men are few and far between, so if you're a good man, and a D.C. woman has you, she will fight to keep you. And what's even better, she will win.
Cons: If you're ever in the wrong, she will also fight you. And she will win.
When You Go: D.C. women are riders, for real. It's also a city with an abnormal amount of beautiful women who are really doing their thing. Case in point: New D.C. resident, Michelle Obama.
MISS STAY TRYING TO LOOK GOOD - DETROIT, MI
Pros: There is something in the water in Detroit, because most of those women are FINE. Sure they have a couple of 7-and-belows, but they're few and far between. Detroit is one of the few cities where a man's wife can be as fine as his mistress. Ask Kwame Kilpatrick.
Cons: I'm not saying they are gold diggers, but a Detroit woman loves a man with a good job. They're just as independent as any other city of women, but they definitely don't put up with a man who has nothing to offer. You got to have assets, bruh.
When You Go: Know this about a woman from Detroit. She has to get her hair done and it will take her forever. If you and her have a date, and she says she's going to be two hours late because she's still waiting for a dryer, trust me, she's telling the truth.
MISS CULTURE - NEW ORLEANS, LA
Pros: Have you ever talked to a woman from New Orleans? Her voice is fine. If you ever need to deliver some bad news to somebody, get a woman from New Orleans with one of them thick accents to deliver it for you.
Cons: Not all women from New Orleans are tough, but New Orleans is a tough city. So if you ever cross a woman from the 'Nola, she will get one of her crazy ass cousins or play-cousins to whoop your ass. She will do this with little to no hesitation.
When You Go: New Orleans women are the only ones I know who own a Wynton Marsalis album and a Lil Wayne album. If you're looking for that girl who can go to the club and the museum, they have these types in N.O. in bunches.
MISS AIN'T THAT IMPRESSED - LOS ANGELES, CA
Pros: Much like Detroit, L.A. women are stupid fine. But unlike Detroit, L.A. attracts fine women from around the world who to be discovered. They're everywhere, so you can go to Target and end up salivating at the check out counters.
Cons: That girl in Target you think is so fine might have gotten with Ray J. That doesn't make her a groupie either. She's just a victim of consequence, because hey, Brandy's brother shops at Target too.
When You Go: L.A. women have probably seen, met, and partied with every single person you've seen on TV, so don't try to stunt. There are normal women out in L.A. who do date teachers and the like, so it'd behoove you to be real in a city where keeping it real is a scarce quality.
MISS GIRL POWER- BAY AREA, CA
Pros: Strong-minded, that's the first thing I think about when it comes to the women I've met from Northern, California. They also have the gift of gab. I've never met a woman from the Bay who didn't recognize game and couldn't give it back.
Cons: Stubborn as hell. That's the second thing I think about when it comes to the women I've met from Northern California. Now, I must tread lightly since my boss represents The Town, but I'm sure even she can admit that women from the town are just a tad more mulish than women from other parts of the country.
When You Go: This is one of the places of which I'm most familiar, and I can really go in, but I digress. Just know this: Bay Area women demand their respect up front. You can say this holds true from women everywhere, but in the Bay, the demand for respect is ironic because most of them love to dance to Too $hort records. Weird, I know. But that's why you have to love Bay women. They do what they want and make no apologies for it.
MISS WHAT'S YOUR NAME - BOSTON, MA
Pros: Boston is a college town, so if you always want to date women who are under 25 (but over 18, please), this is where you need to be. It's like the fountain of youth with books. Also, a Boston woman will go out in a blizzard with no problem, which says a lot.
Cons: You really have to work to make Boston work for you. The clubs close right on time, and when it comes to a diverse selection of women, Boston has as low of a ranking as their crime rate.
When You Go: I've probably spent more time in Boston than a person who's not from there and did not go to school there should, but two of my best friends have been up there for a couple of years, so it's a city I frequent, and here's what I know: If a Boston woman decides she likes you at a club, she's coming after you, and there's really nothing you can do about it.
MISS ON HER GRIND - PHILADELPHIA, PA
Pros: For some reason, Philly women know how to rock the Tomboy look like no other. They also wear little to no makeup and have an uncanny ability to hang with the boys without trying too hard to be like one of the boys.
Cons: Philly girls always root for Philly teams. They don't have to know the sport, so long as a Philly team is playing, she's rooting for them, which is a huge problem if you're the die-hard fan of another team and your team is playing hers. They also sometimes rock the Tomboy look too often. After all, this was the city that kicked off the whole Jersey dress trend.
When You Go: Musiq Soulchild always has one song on one of his albums that pays homage to a Philly woman, and the one thing he always talks about is her hustle, and it's absolutely true. Every woman I know from Philly is either on her grind to get out of the city, or if she's chose to make it her home, she's on the grind in the city.
MISS NICE GIRL - CHICAGO, IL
Pros: Something about the Second City's women just makes me smile. I can honestly say
I've never met a woman from the 'Go who has made me upset. Approach them appropriately in a club, and even if she doesn't feel you, she'll let you down gently.
Cons: Women from Chi-Town can be too nice, so watch for the okey-doke. And if a woman from Chicago is yours, she's probably smiling at half the dudes in the club because it's in her nature, which means that at some point, you and some dude are going to have a misunderstanding.
When You Go: There's a reason you don't hear that many misogynistic rap songs coming out of Chicago. The women of the Chi are just flat-out nice. I've honestly never met a woman from Chicago who's made me want to call her out her name to her face.
Of course, the last city on this list should be New York, but I've decided not to do it. While I currently do live in New York City, the city is too vast and too diverse to include on this list. At some point, I'm going to write a post dedicated solely to the women of New York and their respected boroughs. Oh, and to the women from the cities and states I did not post, don't trip. You're the only ones I know from there, so I don't have enough information to work with, but you're definitely holding it down.
As for the fellas, I'm interested in knowing which cities the women they like come from. Give me a top 5, if you can. I'm curious.
Umm Yeah...
Yeah I'm back again for like the millionth time since i have been going through it, but i just got back in from a long walked around the hood...Yes the hood nigga...if your from detroit and seen where i lived you'd ask me who does that at this time of night?
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stupid? yes none the less but when u buggin out like i've been buggin out that is one of many mistakes that cannot be changed. Anywhom i had a conversation with LaLa today she called me out the random while i was going through it and i happen to have needed someone to talk to and my brothers wasnt answering their phones Ty was probably busy with Chicky wing and Chicky wings momma...Egan was gettin fresh to go get fresh wit a Chick....Chris Was sleep or going through shit wit his baby momma...
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The more i sit here i wish i had my own Macbook pro (Preferably) Because of Garage band and so much more shit i could do on there with out the use of a MPC but its all good hopefully i'll land this hoeass job so i can work toward getting the shit off my ass,ALSO!!! Yes umm I found out a shocking lil tid bit of CH (Charles Hamilton) I did not know he dropped out of HS and copped his G.E.D (Sounds close to home doesnt it?) also and he cant read music either but he did learn eventually still aint too talented with it (Like Me right?) yet everything i continue to find out and or look up
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Dudes music is completely dumb crazy i relate to it, and i assume everyone around me is slowly catching on slowly but surely.Not to say i'm jockin dude but listen to this.
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For those that do know me tell me if you dont hear alot of me out of there? lol minus the pink shit which makes up for my fascination with purple and Yellow...which i'll kick knowledge on that too..
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In human color psychology, purple is also associated with royalty, regality, and nobility (stemming from antiquity where Tyrian Purple was only affordable to the elites). dead ass though i do know my shit from time to time but i felt like being alil more informational today i'll get back to the point of this blog later i'm just getting out some shit for now... on to my other obssession Yellow
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Stars of spectral classes F and G, such as our sun Sol, have color temperatures that make them look "yellowish".[11] The first astronomer to classify stars according to their color was F. G. W. Struve in 1827. One of his classifications was flavae, or yellow, and this roughly corresponded to stars in the modern spectral range F5 to K0.[12] The Strömgren photometric system for stellar classification includes a 'y' or yellow filter that is centered at a wavelength of 550 nm and has a bandwidth of 20–30 nm
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Anywhom hopefully you've made it thus far to get back to what and why this blog was being written anywhom the more i bang out to this CH dude he makes me realize shit will be ok and will get better gradually i just wish she would see it, not to mention he has these exact same problems with his "NowAndLater"
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The more I listen to the "Pink Lavalamp" Its really became a daily routine to bang that out to keep what little bit of sanity i attempt to claim and keep but yet if She has listened to that song either on her macbook or itunes cuz she does have the songs on her computer...I tryed to google the lyrics so i wont have to type them out but eventually i will
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I'm like super like hurt but then again i can honestly admit something to this woman i never even thought of admitted to her and it goes a tad bit beyond love...only if she'll listen to that song while reading this blog
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I'm not into this bloggin shit for the response just to show someone else out there in this blasted fuckin world that my life may be better than yours and you can learn from my mistakes...or show the other person my life is completely worse than you can possibly fuckin father so be humble or subtle about the things and or blessings in your life...
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Its not hard being me, never will be but i will not trade this shit for the world...I've garnered alot of bullshit in my life good and or bad but the one thing i would love to keep the most out of all of it is my Team (FAMILIA ROYALE!!!!) and her even through her bullshit she gives me and the shit i give or gave her...she dont know now i'm tellin the secret is out..even though she is not married to me nor having a child by me i would die and go to hell for this woman...
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Ty and E And Chris know, Especially Ty who even knew when he posed the question of rick letting her go that easily? No, Even though it may not work out and or crash and burn like it already has the black box has yet to be found...but i am and truly expressing my heart and feelings off of raw emotion like i've told E about it recently on one of his endeavors
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Non one outside of my own crew really understands my pain and or my problems and she comes close maybe even in their leauge but she does not take the time out to see why i am the way i am, and all of this shit i just kicked to you or whoever is reading this...this is my fucking promise i'll be there for you cuz i'm Rick and always will be around no matter what..you might want to replay that song above cuz i say it with and hand over my heart and tears pour as i type every last letter and space in this fucking blog
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I believe i've pledged more than enough shit to any and everyone i come across ever in life, and this is more for you (YES YOU!!) I happen to be focused on the wrong things or not so wat who cares long as i'm here by your side you should be content with that as things get better and happen to be happy for wat little i do have and or own...and that reaches out to friends and or family and whoever else is on this, I mean i literally cant pledge my heart off...this is why i run and do not look back and yet i'm going in alil too personal but i made it this far so fuck it hopefully after who the hell ever reads this I hope u feel u know me a tad bit more becuz this is Roderic exposed at his worse/best
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I'm pretty much done and i've been writing this since you've sent me that message @ 3:48am and every time i dream i dream of you every time i think dream girl i think of u...i will admit i wanna treat u like how these dope boyz treat their women materialistically but i cant right now so understand the other influence's i've gotten and make up for outside of all that...each and everyday i make it through with a heartache and pain even when my crew make it looks easy...I'm Done....Yes..done, i'm not writing this to get you back or win you over i really do not give a fuck in the least bit i just know i left it all on the table i'll end up in the garbage either which way but just know Roderic Ray Jr. Will always been there and if not there i'm always around.....
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stupid? yes none the less but when u buggin out like i've been buggin out that is one of many mistakes that cannot be changed. Anywhom i had a conversation with LaLa today she called me out the random while i was going through it and i happen to have needed someone to talk to and my brothers wasnt answering their phones Ty was probably busy with Chicky wing and Chicky wings momma...Egan was gettin fresh to go get fresh wit a Chick....Chris Was sleep or going through shit wit his baby momma...
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The more i sit here i wish i had my own Macbook pro (Preferably) Because of Garage band and so much more shit i could do on there with out the use of a MPC but its all good hopefully i'll land this hoeass job so i can work toward getting the shit off my ass,ALSO!!! Yes umm I found out a shocking lil tid bit of CH (Charles Hamilton) I did not know he dropped out of HS and copped his G.E.D (Sounds close to home doesnt it?) also and he cant read music either but he did learn eventually still aint too talented with it (Like Me right?) yet everything i continue to find out and or look up
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Dudes music is completely dumb crazy i relate to it, and i assume everyone around me is slowly catching on slowly but surely.Not to say i'm jockin dude but listen to this.
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For those that do know me tell me if you dont hear alot of me out of there? lol minus the pink shit which makes up for my fascination with purple and Yellow...which i'll kick knowledge on that too..
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In human color psychology, purple is also associated with royalty, regality, and nobility (stemming from antiquity where Tyrian Purple was only affordable to the elites). dead ass though i do know my shit from time to time but i felt like being alil more informational today i'll get back to the point of this blog later i'm just getting out some shit for now... on to my other obssession Yellow
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Stars of spectral classes F and G, such as our sun Sol, have color temperatures that make them look "yellowish".[11] The first astronomer to classify stars according to their color was F. G. W. Struve in 1827. One of his classifications was flavae, or yellow, and this roughly corresponded to stars in the modern spectral range F5 to K0.[12] The Strömgren photometric system for stellar classification includes a 'y' or yellow filter that is centered at a wavelength of 550 nm and has a bandwidth of 20–30 nm
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Anywhom hopefully you've made it thus far to get back to what and why this blog was being written anywhom the more i bang out to this CH dude he makes me realize shit will be ok and will get better gradually i just wish she would see it, not to mention he has these exact same problems with his "NowAndLater"
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The more I listen to the "Pink Lavalamp" Its really became a daily routine to bang that out to keep what little bit of sanity i attempt to claim and keep but yet if She has listened to that song either on her macbook or itunes cuz she does have the songs on her computer...I tryed to google the lyrics so i wont have to type them out but eventually i will
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I'm like super like hurt but then again i can honestly admit something to this woman i never even thought of admitted to her and it goes a tad bit beyond love...only if she'll listen to that song while reading this blog
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I'm not into this bloggin shit for the response just to show someone else out there in this blasted fuckin world that my life may be better than yours and you can learn from my mistakes...or show the other person my life is completely worse than you can possibly fuckin father so be humble or subtle about the things and or blessings in your life...
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Its not hard being me, never will be but i will not trade this shit for the world...I've garnered alot of bullshit in my life good and or bad but the one thing i would love to keep the most out of all of it is my Team (FAMILIA ROYALE!!!!) and her even through her bullshit she gives me and the shit i give or gave her...she dont know now i'm tellin the secret is out..even though she is not married to me nor having a child by me i would die and go to hell for this woman...
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Ty and E And Chris know, Especially Ty who even knew when he posed the question of rick letting her go that easily? No, Even though it may not work out and or crash and burn like it already has the black box has yet to be found...but i am and truly expressing my heart and feelings off of raw emotion like i've told E about it recently on one of his endeavors
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Non one outside of my own crew really understands my pain and or my problems and she comes close maybe even in their leauge but she does not take the time out to see why i am the way i am, and all of this shit i just kicked to you or whoever is reading this...this is my fucking promise i'll be there for you cuz i'm Rick and always will be around no matter what..you might want to replay that song above cuz i say it with and hand over my heart and tears pour as i type every last letter and space in this fucking blog
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I believe i've pledged more than enough shit to any and everyone i come across ever in life, and this is more for you (YES YOU!!) I happen to be focused on the wrong things or not so wat who cares long as i'm here by your side you should be content with that as things get better and happen to be happy for wat little i do have and or own...and that reaches out to friends and or family and whoever else is on this, I mean i literally cant pledge my heart off...this is why i run and do not look back and yet i'm going in alil too personal but i made it this far so fuck it hopefully after who the hell ever reads this I hope u feel u know me a tad bit more becuz this is Roderic exposed at his worse/best
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I'm pretty much done and i've been writing this since you've sent me that message @ 3:48am and every time i dream i dream of you every time i think dream girl i think of u...i will admit i wanna treat u like how these dope boyz treat their women materialistically but i cant right now so understand the other influence's i've gotten and make up for outside of all that...each and everyday i make it through with a heartache and pain even when my crew make it looks easy...I'm Done....Yes..done, i'm not writing this to get you back or win you over i really do not give a fuck in the least bit i just know i left it all on the table i'll end up in the garbage either which way but just know Roderic Ray Jr. Will always been there and if not there i'm always around.....
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Damn, This Is Whack (Pause)
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " Philippians 4:11-13
"DISCLAIMER: Now For Those Of You Who See This Some Of You Might Know This Is Out Of Anger,And Depending On The Reader I Might've Decided Not To Tell You About This Since I Do Not Need You All Involved In My Issue With Her. If Your Reading This Yes Its About You And How I Feel And I Will Blog It Out Not We Can Continue On My Reader"- Sincere Ray....Yeah, More conversations with the woman above....Why? because i'm like literally pressed and really pissed and running into the same wall over and over again...I cant take this shit I wanna post some of the shit that was said between me and her (Yea, I cant even call her the "Nowand4Ever") since we're on a break or broken up. All I want is to get what little of my stuff thats over there (Minus the coat)so she wont have anything that reminds me of her since i am so much of a damn problem, I mean damn how much can on person take b4 like literally callin someone out of their name or do something drastic from all the other extreme's this person might have taken it to?
Not to mention the fact that its alotta things fucked up in the both of us, nonetheless but still its no need to throw labels and ill will towards one another its not like i went off the deep end like Chris would and call you all types of "crazy bitches" and what have us not, but yet i get called Emo or depressed because i'm simply expressing how i feel. which may not be in the best way but its better to have it come out than stay in like someone i know who does it? (Not Takin anyshots b4 some get fired back for no reason)...
Yet again i get short ended i never get what i want and yet i'm the root of all evil and i'm being label as childish and emo for it...aint that more of another bitch then says shes tired of this relationship and threatens to lose my number like i'm supposed to cry over it...I've lost enough sleep over this and yet she dont care to hear what the fuck i have to say and or think so this is gonna be some bullshit...another thing that pisses me off is the fact she dont realize she said she glad she wasnt pregnant so she wouldnt have to go through this by herself...and yet she wasnt gonna go through it by herself, and then that sting for someone to talk about having children then turn around and tell u i'm glad i didnt have your child...I wish i could die tonight...I really do i do not and i mean DO NOT give a fuck about what you may not want for me but this shit makes me wanna take my life...cuz obviously pullin someone of these women and niggaz by their tampon stings is touchy as fuck for no reason...
She's not happy i was happy and peep the bible verse above but yet it matters to her or no one else so she dont want no contact she has just that until i get my shit back then i can really get the fuck away especially my lil sister pik she gave me i'm very sentimental about shit my young brother or sister gives me since i dont see them often but thats ok..i'll settle that soon enough...i'm tired of typing i'll probably finish this damn blog as another chapt post or something cuz this chick just made me wanna call her every name in the book....
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Umm My Conversation With God...
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The more i listen to Charles Hamiltons "It's Charles Hamilton" Mixtape, Its A lotta songs in general thats very enjoyable but like i said "Conversations With God" Is Where its at Mind you i posted it above this blog so you might want to take a look at it if you dont have it on your Macbook (Which I know your ass is probably reading This)...And to all my other readers.
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I've honestly can say i loved and still do love this girl i done endured alot of shit someone shouldnt have to endure from anyone but thats not to mention some of the shit i've done and or to put her through but none the less aint nothing really perfect anywho but i still beleive in didnt have to come down to this I dont care what she has to say about that and i really do mean that
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i mean how much love and or shit do i have to profess,confess and other fuckin words that end in fess', i mean yes i dont have what i was supposed to but i am working on it and she was supporting me and being a support group and obviously she may not want me as that or part of that but i do want her apart of mines but not as my friend my damn girlfriend for crying out loud...
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I mean i know she wants a break but none the less i want her as i worked hard to get her to be my gf i know i lied but everyone does and it isnt like It hindered alot of things, then it again it may have but still your supposed to be able to make it through what ever whenever how ever but i see no one really sets out to think the way that i do
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I have never did u wrong or hurt you..interms of cheating on you, or doing shit behind your back in general, and maybe there are ladies whom are mad about it, oh well fuck'em outside of my bro's now i feel alone they are the only dudes i really fuck with that shows me i'm not alone or dont have fucked up luck
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I mean i make mistakes none the less but none that really upsets people enough to want to leave me but it goes to show somethings have to change but somethings about will not change because then i wouldnt be Roderic....Or whateva i'm typically called none the less...I'll be bloggin all throughout the night
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And its cuz of my hurt i would like to express it and outside of talkin to god (She treats me so well and yes god is a woman to me)but she let me know whats what and whoms whom...and she told me no matter what she's always near me and for me to continue to be my own instrument...and stopbeing brash with the delivery...and stop running from my inner beast
I'm Not Apologizing For Shit Only Cuz I'm Like Really Fuckin Mad...
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First Feeling..Even Though I Dont Have No Kids...
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How I Feel Like Seriously...
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Me On A Regular When U Put My Crew Together
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How I'm Seriously Feelin'....
I gotta New blog coming right after this one....
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I'm Done For Now My Next Blog will be alil more detailed...oh yeah and i'm still not here This is why i'm not puttin shit on my away message
Man And Today Is What!? 23rd Right?
Wat a hell of a way to head into a damn anniversary right? I mean man yeah i've been going through shit, like some of the most torturing shit in my life and it seems to keep going down hill and i'm constantly snappin and black'n wishing alil of everyone would go eat shit in a hand basket. I'm not bout to sit here and do the long toted blog i wanted to do i just wanted to let some of my reeaders know why i've been in M.I.A so umm yeah read inbetween the lines and If she happens to be reading this blog...Happy Anniversary or Ex- anniversary which ever but i'm going back to the cali oriental (Charles Hamilton Song..VIA My Brain Is Alive Mixtape) until next blog i'll be gone so listen to this....
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Vinyl Pop
Outside of sitting here with a major headache at 4:20Am...Lost in thought about her, Yes me and the supposed "Nowand4ever" are no more. As Opposed to this "Break" to acheive come of life's goals behind it from what i get, I mean i'm for it but along with a break? I say again i totally oppose it but whichever floats her boat. I believe she's grown tired of me and or us for that simple fact an she believed she would rather face that heartbreak to move on,I nesscarily am not willing to sacrifice that because i believe there were worse times.
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Probably I will not go into details about what is right and or wrong thats just strictly against my morals none the less but I'm choosing not to go that road...And i'm posted right now on the couch Wit E as his hoe ass fell asleep next to me Ty went to bed hours ago and i really do not feel like having my phone on right now, speaking of which i've been feelin' a bit lucky hearing from my punkass sperm donor (Father) to gimme a plug on working with him but out side of that i've felt things were looking up then this?
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Maybe I Need Her, I do know i love her but if this doesnt work out like she believes it will am i to look back? whom is to say its been put behind me? if it wasnt would i be sittin here bloggin @ fuckin 4:24am on a sunday? I've been sittin here banging Charles Hamilton and Show Tufli's mixtapes (Which Are Dope Might I Add) but its seems like between Demevolist's Music And Some N*E*R*D I've been beaming up to Scotty in god's cockpit to black and just reflect
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An give or take I feel like i've had my heart ripped from my chest, This is the post-pardom depression of losing a relationship right!? I really wanna know but then again i do not...Its too fuckin much to lose in one day and outside of that her pushing me away these past few days probably push this shit over the edge anyway....
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on a slight more positive note i do hope i get this job working wit my damn sperm donor (Father) hopefully i dont have to see him as much...and i've already starting doing my "Kanye" spending money b4 i get it and or without a fucking job,I need a new cell phone...Want some new kicks...and Clothes and a whole bunch of other shit i need...i was promised by her she'd get me these things which i knew was an empty promise... like most times...I guess thats what happens when your so used to being set up for failure...
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I am one for letting myself get set up to get slapped in the face by reality, but not like this even though i do need to go over there an get the rest of my stuff (minus the coat). The more i look back on this i just see that it'll never be in vain nonetheless but this hurt is a hurt i have not felt in a while like i just wanna lock myself in my room and stay away from everyone except my bro's since they've made me feel even better since then and try to keep my distance from her
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like i really love this chick and put up with the most of everything that was thrown at me...but thats what i get for being the L.M.R. (Lame Nigga Reject) in your eyes right? shit happens i never asked to be categorized let alone be someone popular...Yet again Bang Charles Hamilton "Latte" and you'll under stand my feeling alil more hopefully my dear reader
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By thinking the more i type this i've began to think about some of the things that were said to me...Like i am not much of a go getter, what the fuck ever that means. personally i know that whatever i feel i really want and or need i will and do go out and attain it minus some of the fuck ups that come behind it, why do i say that? because i wanted her and went and got her next thing u know we're together "November 22" or Techinaclly "November 23"..Has all been shot down to non exsistence for now
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Whats next for me!? I honestly dont know, besides wanting to land that job thats about it and attain the proper shit i need to get into school for the summer time and go on from their to attaining my dreams i've been chasing...and i feel like i'd be becoming more selfish with the bitterness i possess even though i would not want to suffer the lonely rewards i would rather have had a GF around or potential wife and then some, but hey I'll look to the sky to see if my name is still there...if not then i'll put it back once more.....
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Anyway its 4:39AM i should be sleep and plottin on how to get my fucking fro braided for this interview but i dunno i'll manage to pull it off, like i always do I'ma 4th Qtr kinda clutch dude even though i suffer from "Shikamaru" syndrom..if you dont not know what that is you might wanna take a step out of your fucking precious life...and look up "Naruto" or "Naruto Shippuden" to get it in...and i'm out to do something else i think i've kinda vented enough...i pose you one question b4 i go...back to banging Tufli And CH....What The Fuck Have You Done Today?
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Probably I will not go into details about what is right and or wrong thats just strictly against my morals none the less but I'm choosing not to go that road...And i'm posted right now on the couch Wit E as his hoe ass fell asleep next to me Ty went to bed hours ago and i really do not feel like having my phone on right now, speaking of which i've been feelin' a bit lucky hearing from my punkass sperm donor (Father) to gimme a plug on working with him but out side of that i've felt things were looking up then this?
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Maybe I Need Her, I do know i love her but if this doesnt work out like she believes it will am i to look back? whom is to say its been put behind me? if it wasnt would i be sittin here bloggin @ fuckin 4:24am on a sunday? I've been sittin here banging Charles Hamilton and Show Tufli's mixtapes (Which Are Dope Might I Add) but its seems like between Demevolist's Music And Some N*E*R*D I've been beaming up to Scotty in god's cockpit to black and just reflect
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An give or take I feel like i've had my heart ripped from my chest, This is the post-pardom depression of losing a relationship right!? I really wanna know but then again i do not...Its too fuckin much to lose in one day and outside of that her pushing me away these past few days probably push this shit over the edge anyway....
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on a slight more positive note i do hope i get this job working wit my damn sperm donor (Father) hopefully i dont have to see him as much...and i've already starting doing my "Kanye" spending money b4 i get it and or without a fucking job,I need a new cell phone...Want some new kicks...and Clothes and a whole bunch of other shit i need...i was promised by her she'd get me these things which i knew was an empty promise... like most times...I guess thats what happens when your so used to being set up for failure...
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I am one for letting myself get set up to get slapped in the face by reality, but not like this even though i do need to go over there an get the rest of my stuff (minus the coat). The more i look back on this i just see that it'll never be in vain nonetheless but this hurt is a hurt i have not felt in a while like i just wanna lock myself in my room and stay away from everyone except my bro's since they've made me feel even better since then and try to keep my distance from her
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like i really love this chick and put up with the most of everything that was thrown at me...but thats what i get for being the L.M.R. (Lame Nigga Reject) in your eyes right? shit happens i never asked to be categorized let alone be someone popular...Yet again Bang Charles Hamilton "Latte" and you'll under stand my feeling alil more hopefully my dear reader
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By thinking the more i type this i've began to think about some of the things that were said to me...Like i am not much of a go getter, what the fuck ever that means. personally i know that whatever i feel i really want and or need i will and do go out and attain it minus some of the fuck ups that come behind it, why do i say that? because i wanted her and went and got her next thing u know we're together "November 22" or Techinaclly "November 23"..Has all been shot down to non exsistence for now
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Whats next for me!? I honestly dont know, besides wanting to land that job thats about it and attain the proper shit i need to get into school for the summer time and go on from their to attaining my dreams i've been chasing...and i feel like i'd be becoming more selfish with the bitterness i possess even though i would not want to suffer the lonely rewards i would rather have had a GF around or potential wife and then some, but hey I'll look to the sky to see if my name is still there...if not then i'll put it back once more.....
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Anyway its 4:39AM i should be sleep and plottin on how to get my fucking fro braided for this interview but i dunno i'll manage to pull it off, like i always do I'ma 4th Qtr kinda clutch dude even though i suffer from "Shikamaru" syndrom..if you dont not know what that is you might wanna take a step out of your fucking precious life...and look up "Naruto" or "Naruto Shippuden" to get it in...and i'm out to do something else i think i've kinda vented enough...i pose you one question b4 i go...back to banging Tufli And CH....What The Fuck Have You Done Today?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
My NowAnd4Ever Wrote This For My Bday
I wrote this on your birthday to give to you but things got in the way... River Story This love of ours tells a story like a river over rocks. When it rains hard the rivers runs deep, fast, and violent upon the rocks that it loves so dearly. But with out the rain, the river itself cannot thrive. When the rain stops and the sun arrives the river runs calm and clear showing the earth around it so much love. We ourselves are the river ever changing and flowing. The storms in our relationship only replenish and renew our love. And like that river we run eternally, telling wise words, and helping those around us thrive. But like that river we ourselves must move on and flow to bigger and greater bodies of our lives. There is no fear in us, no selfishness only love ever flowing. I know that we have had turbulent times that seem impossible to get through, but only time and hard work can make those moments mean more than just bad memories. See We are like the Nile flowing against gravity. Showing and telling a history as we make all around us thrive. So my dear like the rivers in this world let love flow like a river in ours. |
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Memory Lane
The majority of these pictures are not in order to let you know but these are from 03-08 i think i'll post up some of the 08-09 bois later
Wow,Thoughts On My Past...
Wattup world you know ya manz try to keep it updated and black for ya'll so ya'll can have more of a personal insight on me right!? Well I happen to have been on FB (Lol Every chance i get) and seen someone's most current picture album...(This Laser Sucker Dont Need To Be Identified) an it had all of the people she gave the title of BFF to and it was missing one..lol funny isnt it? to me its very fuckin' hilarious, but ya'll don't know half the story to see the irony in it...
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I mean its alot of ish behind why things are the way they are amongest me and those whom i was once cool with, Maybe cuz it was blamed on the other niggas i fucked with @ the time but me and my loyalty use to stay loyal to the one who was wrong rather it was logical or illogical ya know? but thats just me and as i grew older my mind grew faster and i began to see the difference on how to be diplomatic with everyone even though the cliques i ran with talked mad shit about one another and yet smiled in one another face, why didnt i say something? Hmm idunno sometimes i did some times is didnt...For the simple fact if everyone was as real as what they claimed it would've came to light like every knows what Rick (Yes i said Rick) could've possibly have done...but how many have actually found or saw what they needed to confirm what i was supposed to have done?
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Outside of that how many of those same people that once ran in any of these cliques remain together outside of bonds besides blood and or years of connection through that fake shit?
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I pose that question to anyone of you who knows me now or has known me since i was young...I know one thing regardless of anything i'm sure of in life besides My better half (Her Blog Is Up)...FAMILIA ROYALE (AKA FAM ROYALE) 4EVER!!!
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I'll Leave the sounds of my blog to play you out, you may now exit if you made it this far...thank you for your time and i appreciate, now i'm back off to watching something until my now and 4ever returns back to me and her queendom (Lol) I sound so gay...
Friday, April 10, 2009
Some Things I Like In General
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This has always been a captivating picture for me....When i find out where they have this at as a actual wall picture i wanna go cop it....
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One Of My Fav Anime's Of All Time
THERES LARK ON MY GO KART!!!
Have you ever had someone in your life that you love more than alotta things that you swore you'd never love...Well its one of those things. Not only has this been a very aggravating day, Its been one of the most mentally irritating days of this year (#1 Spot might i add)...If its not one thing it is another, or if its not done on her time or seconds or minutes after the question or task has been posed its a fucking problem...yet what took the cake is.....
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I'm not even gonna elaborate on that for sake of arguing prevention cuz i'm tired of it, and yet she does not see what she does and or see why i react that way. Hell i bet it aint even like she fucking cares, She makes me want to fucking play Russian Roulette with a 357 sometimes. Just like my parents did (God-parents) which is quite terrible, And i might be saying this out of pure anger, but its better than mud-slinging and causing un-needed lark so i'll just continue black'n for now and hopefully feel better if not i'll just go to sleep...life is better when sleep..sometimes...
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I mean really some of the shit she says be really un-called for...I dont do it in the least bit,maybe i do but it dont be to the degree she does it. I may tend to get loud and wanna yell at the nigga like she slammed my dick in the door (And Sidenote from Author: "I wont be suprised if there is a retaliation blog like her recent one about how i and her mother piss her of") but other than that its alot of things i be gritting the shit out of my teeth for the sake of a relationship since its a COMPROMISE!!!
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I'm not even gonna elaborate on that for sake of arguing prevention cuz i'm tired of it, and yet she does not see what she does and or see why i react that way. Hell i bet it aint even like she fucking cares, She makes me want to fucking play Russian Roulette with a 357 sometimes. Just like my parents did (God-parents) which is quite terrible, And i might be saying this out of pure anger, but its better than mud-slinging and causing un-needed lark so i'll just continue black'n for now and hopefully feel better if not i'll just go to sleep...life is better when sleep..sometimes...
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I mean really some of the shit she says be really un-called for...I dont do it in the least bit,maybe i do but it dont be to the degree she does it. I may tend to get loud and wanna yell at the nigga like she slammed my dick in the door (And Sidenote from Author: "I wont be suprised if there is a retaliation blog like her recent one about how i and her mother piss her of") but other than that its alot of things i be gritting the shit out of my teeth for the sake of a relationship since its a COMPROMISE!!!
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i mean really i never had anyone rag on the shit i listen to, I may over do it according to others (So What Who Cares) or hear someone say some shit i listen to is whack...I'm used to it i mean who else outside of me Listens To Fabolous, N*E*R*D (Who doesnt listen to them?), Charles Hamilton (I've Been addicted to listening to as of lately...Like N*E*R*D It makes me realize i am sane from time to time,plus dudes tracklisting is building and he's fuckin dope)Other shit i listen to i dont know by name right now but really though I'm feel like i'm gonna go do something
Sunday, April 5, 2009
This Months First Blog!!
Umm so yeah whats happening my starchasers? I know i havent been dead ass on keeping this thing updated but hey love me when i post, love/hate me when i dont. Anywho I've going through my own brazilian crying season waiting on the rain...and then seen it come and it made me wanna just sit and chill wit my bro's (Which is what i did the whole Weekend) Played Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare. Shouts out to Azure (E), T.y., And Chris...And Everyone else at T.y. Crib for helping me clear my head. Even though me and Soul Amazing went through it as the middle of the week came about and had our lil hump in the road, shit happens and it seemed like something was wrong with us like mother nature had it out for us....
Its all good for now even though she never really reads the majority of my blogs (So i assume) i wished she wouldnt spaz out for certain things within our relationship like i know things are not perfect nor what you may want, or used to getting more or less but like i said if its worth sticking with please do...like hearing someone say something happens and they tell you it makes them question their feelings about you even more how would you feel? (And No I'm not taking shots just asking questions)..I mean i know i take alot of shit really from alotta people but then again i also give it out just as well as i take it...and as of lately i feel like both of us been having a Qwanell moment off of MTB4 and shit..like she said "He Was right things just wont be the same"..To an extent yes it deed but you want somethings if not everything to change so here we go...we're trying just that...talk about a fucking Cosmic hop skotch...or Lunar Double dutch...wild aint it?
Seeing Mommy And Ty with the Sq (Shouts Out To The Familia Royale Boi's) Had madd fun wilding and talking with them it made me realize i've been becoming alil to stressed and lost part of my goofy side...like some say its immature but some say it what makes me myself, and on top of that when i actually sit and decide to open my mouth and talk like i have some sense it'll never change views will never changed if ones perception is like concrete solid..when my view of everyone is like water in a glas forms to whatever when ever whereever...not conforming...lol i just had a Seafuu moment...wild aint it but thats all for now..now i must prep to depart to the Dead Zone..Dead ass...oh yeah and C.Hamilton 2 latest mixtapes are Copped and i like...seriously dude speaks s some shit i relate to and or think on a daily my gf dont make it no better that she says the same shit but anyway whom my starchasers until next time..Melo Yellow Sinc3r3 Puttin it down for now
Its all good for now even though she never really reads the majority of my blogs (So i assume) i wished she wouldnt spaz out for certain things within our relationship like i know things are not perfect nor what you may want, or used to getting more or less but like i said if its worth sticking with please do...like hearing someone say something happens and they tell you it makes them question their feelings about you even more how would you feel? (And No I'm not taking shots just asking questions)..I mean i know i take alot of shit really from alotta people but then again i also give it out just as well as i take it...and as of lately i feel like both of us been having a Qwanell moment off of MTB4 and shit..like she said "He Was right things just wont be the same"..To an extent yes it deed but you want somethings if not everything to change so here we go...we're trying just that...talk about a fucking Cosmic hop skotch...or Lunar Double dutch...wild aint it?
Seeing Mommy And Ty with the Sq (Shouts Out To The Familia Royale Boi's) Had madd fun wilding and talking with them it made me realize i've been becoming alil to stressed and lost part of my goofy side...like some say its immature but some say it what makes me myself, and on top of that when i actually sit and decide to open my mouth and talk like i have some sense it'll never change views will never changed if ones perception is like concrete solid..when my view of everyone is like water in a glas forms to whatever when ever whereever...not conforming...lol i just had a Seafuu moment...wild aint it but thats all for now..now i must prep to depart to the Dead Zone..Dead ass...oh yeah and C.Hamilton 2 latest mixtapes are Copped and i like...seriously dude speaks s some shit i relate to and or think on a daily my gf dont make it no better that she says the same shit but anyway whom my starchasers until next time..Melo Yellow Sinc3r3 Puttin it down for now
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