Umm My Conversation With God...

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The more i listen to Charles Hamiltons "It's Charles Hamilton" Mixtape, Its A lotta songs in general thats very enjoyable but like i said "Conversations With God" Is Where its at Mind you i posted it above this blog so you might want to take a look at it if you dont have it on your Macbook (Which I know your ass is probably reading This)...And to all my other readers.
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I've honestly can say i loved and still do love this girl i done endured alot of shit someone shouldnt have to endure from anyone but thats not to mention some of the shit i've done and or to put her through but none the less aint nothing really perfect anywho but i still beleive in didnt have to come down to this I dont care what she has to say about that and i really do mean that
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i mean how much love and or shit do i have to profess,confess and other fuckin words that end in fess', i mean yes i dont have what i was supposed to but i am working on it and she was supporting me and being a support group and obviously she may not want me as that or part of that but i do want her apart of mines but not as my friend my damn girlfriend for crying out loud...
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I mean i know she wants a break but none the less i want her as i worked hard to get her to be my gf i know i lied but everyone does and it isnt like It hindered alot of things, then it again it may have but still your supposed to be able to make it through what ever whenever how ever but i see no one really sets out to think the way that i do
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I have never did u wrong or hurt you..interms of cheating on you, or doing shit behind your back in general, and maybe there are ladies whom are mad about it, oh well fuck'em outside of my bro's now i feel alone they are the only dudes i really fuck with that shows me i'm not alone or dont have fucked up luck
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I mean i make mistakes none the less but none that really upsets people enough to want to leave me but it goes to show somethings have to change but somethings about will not change because then i wouldnt be Roderic....Or whateva i'm typically called none the less...I'll be bloggin all throughout the night
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And its cuz of my hurt i would like to express it and outside of talkin to god (She treats me so well and yes god is a woman to me)but she let me know whats what and whoms whom...and she told me no matter what she's always near me and for me to continue to be my own instrument...and stopbeing brash with the delivery...and stop running from my inner beast