Vinyl Pop

Outside of sitting here with a major headache at 4:20Am...Lost in thought about her, Yes me and the supposed "Nowand4ever" are no more. As Opposed to this "Break" to acheive come of life's goals behind it from what i get, I mean i'm for it but along with a break? I say again i totally oppose it but whichever floats her boat. I believe she's grown tired of me and or us for that simple fact an she believed she would rather face that heartbreak to move on,I nesscarily am not willing to sacrifice that because i believe there were worse times.
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Probably I will not go into details about what is right and or wrong thats just strictly against my morals none the less but I'm choosing not to go that road...And i'm posted right now on the couch Wit E as his hoe ass fell asleep next to me Ty went to bed hours ago and i really do not feel like having my phone on right now, speaking of which i've been feelin' a bit lucky hearing from my punkass sperm donor (Father) to gimme a plug on working with him but out side of that i've felt things were looking up then this?
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Maybe I Need Her, I do know i love her but if this doesnt work out like she believes it will am i to look back? whom is to say its been put behind me? if it wasnt would i be sittin here bloggin @ fuckin 4:24am on a sunday? I've been sittin here banging Charles Hamilton and Show Tufli's mixtapes (Which Are Dope Might I Add) but its seems like between Demevolist's Music And Some N*E*R*D I've been beaming up to Scotty in god's cockpit to black and just reflect
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An give or take I feel like i've had my heart ripped from my chest, This is the post-pardom depression of losing a relationship right!? I really wanna know but then again i do not...Its too fuckin much to lose in one day and outside of that her pushing me away these past few days probably push this shit over the edge anyway....
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on a slight more positive note i do hope i get this job working wit my damn sperm donor (Father) hopefully i dont have to see him as much...and i've already starting doing my "Kanye" spending money b4 i get it and or without a fucking job,I need a new cell phone...Want some new kicks...and Clothes and a whole bunch of other shit i need...i was promised by her she'd get me these things which i knew was an empty promise... like most times...I guess thats what happens when your so used to being set up for failure...
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I am one for letting myself get set up to get slapped in the face by reality, but not like this even though i do need to go over there an get the rest of my stuff (minus the coat). The more i look back on this i just see that it'll never be in vain nonetheless but this hurt is a hurt i have not felt in a while like i just wanna lock myself in my room and stay away from everyone except my bro's since they've made me feel even better since then and try to keep my distance from her
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like i really love this chick and put up with the most of everything that was thrown at me...but thats what i get for being the L.M.R. (Lame Nigga Reject) in your eyes right? shit happens i never asked to be categorized let alone be someone popular...Yet again Bang Charles Hamilton "Latte" and you'll under stand my feeling alil more hopefully my dear reader
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By thinking the more i type this i've began to think about some of the things that were said to me...Like i am not much of a go getter, what the fuck ever that means. personally i know that whatever i feel i really want and or need i will and do go out and attain it minus some of the fuck ups that come behind it, why do i say that? because i wanted her and went and got her next thing u know we're together "November 22" or Techinaclly "November 23"..Has all been shot down to non exsistence for now
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Whats next for me!? I honestly dont know, besides wanting to land that job thats about it and attain the proper shit i need to get into school for the summer time and go on from their to attaining my dreams i've been chasing...and i feel like i'd be becoming more selfish with the bitterness i possess even though i would not want to suffer the lonely rewards i would rather have had a GF around or potential wife and then some, but hey I'll look to the sky to see if my name is still there...if not then i'll put it back once more.....
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Anyway its 4:39AM i should be sleep and plottin on how to get my fucking fro braided for this interview but i dunno i'll manage to pull it off, like i always do I'ma 4th Qtr kinda clutch dude even though i suffer from "Shikamaru" syndrom..if you dont not know what that is you might wanna take a step out of your fucking precious life...and look up "Naruto" or "Naruto Shippuden" to get it in...and i'm out to do something else i think i've kinda vented enough...i pose you one question b4 i go...back to banging Tufli And CH....What The Fuck Have You Done Today?