There is a song out there that has the ability to slay people because the minute we hear the shit we all relapse & start to travel back in time...to that "one" relationship, that one confrontation, that 1 time, that 1 person.
It gets me everytime because I start thinking about what we could have said, how I wish she felt, what I wish she had done or didn’t do. I personally get to wondering asking myself why and wondering what could have been. clingy? I assume so...Then again I looked it up and I dont think I personally fit that criteria:
1. To hold fast or adhere to something, as by grasping, sticking, embracing, or entwining
2. To remain close; resist separation
3. To remain emotionally attached
Well maybe numero 3....But it is up for debate.
For me this relationship is all about shits & giggles. It honestly takes me back to our second YES! 2nd for the slow ones (or was it third? Who can fucking remember anymore?) breakup. Without going into major detail, let me say this she did something fucked up and I found out about it while we were in a public-fucking place. My reaction...was probably the closest I’ve ever came to doing bodily harm to a woman in public and yet when I calmed and tried to talk to her, she fucking refused. Again she just walked away, Which I honestly do hate. I dont mind you looking at me like your dumb, Just do not (DO FUCKING NOT!!) Walk away from me.
I remember being so pissed that after everything that had happened she could just turn her back and stroll off and leave me crying on the inside like that (SHE TOOK EVERYTHING!!!! *in my kevin hart voice). It was one of the few times I really ever felt like she would never always be there for me (though she swears I played her).
So when Lauryn Hill's bridge of "Ex-factor" starts singing: “care for me care for me, care for me/i know you care for me/there for me, there for me said you’d be there for me/cry for me, cry for me you said you’d die for me/give to me, give to me why don’t you live for me?”
It just pisses me the fuck off in its entirety…gets me. I end up right back in that spot of being completely upset about what the fuck she did also mad at myself for my dumbass initial reaction and bereft (Did you see what I said there? Yea, I said it fucka) by the fact that I won’t talk to her or listen to what she has to say. If I’m not careful I will get choked the fuck up at that very part of the song. So if your late listen, if you know what I mean. Listen again and get reacquainted quickly...
An to that East Lansing reader. Atleast comment...Or ask what happened...If your not so caught up calling someone "Pathetic" Deadass though...
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4 comments:
rick, why would I ask you what happened when you have made it clear "I'm not telling you shit else that goes on in my life"!? Just because I hate some of the things you do, doesn't mean that I hate you as a person, but you don't understand that and that's always been the case. It angers me how a person can become so dark at the hands of another women (your ex) and then 2 months after your departure from the most recent one, your all of a sudden back speaking to the same person who almost literally causes almost a mental collapse. I'm all for forgiving a person, but I will never forget how they made me feel. It just kinda seems like, the blogs, the constant reminiscing has accomplished it's goal and that's being able to at least speak to the same person who you once loved wholeheartedly, and the same person who brought you a depth of pain. So this all leads me to believe that this is what RICK wanted, I am happy that the most recent "misses" served as your "transition" to finally getting closure...but it also left hurt, and alot of unanswered questions.
as for this particular blog, I would ask what is wrong because genuinely I care,even after everything that's happened, but what's the point when you have other people I'm sure can help you far better than I can. I am nothing but a passerby who once meant something but doesn't anymore. I really hope you open your eyes and see the reality of alot of things, and not keep settling in the world of darkness and distortion you have been in.
sorry for the lengthy comment tho...if you truly want to talk you know exactly how to reach me...and that's real.
I find it funny the backlash you get for making your own choices in life. In no way shape or form am I perfect but the fact that one can humble themselves to amend a mistake and still be judged by people that don't even know me nor the other end of the spectrum is bullshit. As well as the fact that whatever has happened between us should be settled between us...Not me, you, and another muthafucka. So sorry for letting my ignorance fly out but as far as I am concerned you are my twin(Rick) whether i'm the evil one or not and fuck all others if you feel some type of why. If we decide to love or hate each other that has nothing to do with anyone else especially if you aren't fam.
Now let me get back to Charlie Sheening on you hoes a.k.a Winning!
~Signed the Evil Twin~
girl please, there is a difference between mistakes and purposely doing things to scar a person, the first time is considered a "mistake" but thereafter everything else is/was premeditated if you don't wan't public backlash then you shouldn't have aired dirty laundry publicly simple as that. Alot of the choices that Rick has made has been as a result of that fucked up thing you used to refer to as a relationship.Forgiveness is by far the right thing to do so I actually commend Rick for that because that takes a big person do that, however I don't support being a fool either. Your level of class and maturity has already shined through via your blog, and twitter, and I'm sure any other social networking site. You claim to "charlie sheening on you hoes" but really you just look and sound silly. I said my peace and my opinion in which I am entitled and I don't need your approval. You have had your time and as far as I'm concerned that has already passed, there is nothing wrong w/ being cordial but I will say if he decides to be back with YOU there must not be any hope for mankind, because clearly you seem to have issues deeper than what the surface reveals. I'm not going to entertain your foolishness..so you can continue this alone.
"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference"----author unknown
So... Because he tells his end of the situation you never ask what the other side is. Right... As well as an argument not going to happen because you showed how caught up in this saga you really are you found my blog and my twitter and none of that should even be in your circle of biz. Also I find you and your attitude comical because like I said earlier its between he and I at the end of the day. So you and your feelings about this are pointless. While you quoting things about fools you got yourself involved in this foolish situation. So keep talking all your shit cuz at the end of the day I'm here and you still don't matter. Lastly all my issues or lack thereof make me who I am and plenty love it so be mad and keep reading and remember I'm the reason for more than the negative about that man, so if he tickled your fancy or you found him charming... You are ever so welcome.
Sorry you were mind fucked...
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