She's So High

I am like deadass sleepy, all the while kind of agitated. In the worst way, but before I go any further. HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY UNCLE'S BABY CHICKY WING!! Now like I was saying, I did not have intentions on blogging, due to the fact I'd be feeling some type of way after I probably post this. Thinking I probably forced this blog, since I am coming to the ending. Yet, beginning of this series. Its served its purpose, allowing me to vent as much as possible. According to my own issues, that have been mentally flogging me. I've been as distant as possible from my blog, an seemingly it has. Then again not really worked, but oh well. It is what it is yo,I've been thinking to one's self. Maybe I have fallen, Then again I have not. I know the full answer behind that, So I know which it is. Though you as my reader may wonder for who? Lmao its funny how a month or 2 of chemistry can make you feel attached. Or the thought of trying to seek Unconditional love, I want to believe I've stumbled upon it. Yet what do I have to offer one in return for this unconditional love? None of the last 3-5 women I've dealt with had it for me, or probably gave me the impression. Maybe, just maybe I've allowed myself to give myself that mirage of unconditional love. Though I sit back and observe most relationships, and see the struggles these people go through and attempt to try it again. As in others they just cut all ties, Which is something I do not nor choose not to understand. I would assume that is because I'm a very emotional dude myself, Yes...I could've kept those 2cents in my pocket. Then again every woman I encounter seemingly notices that about me, and the fact I do not like to be alone. Which in its own right is deadass true, So why? I only could tell you and probably confuse you more than I'll confuse my damnself. So if only the right person would listen, Then again....I know i have the right outlets I just choose not to utilize them. I treat those as my very last options to exercise just in case it comes to a breaking point. Though I know I'm notorious for putting women on a pedastal yet, it backfires on me. As in the 2 key relationships I've been in over the course of 2 years, Only thing It's brought me was pain and slight obsession along with depression in to it. The story always get bent up, lol I'm not afraid to admit that rather it was my end or others. Some was self inflicted, others was mandatory to take in order to push ones bounds and limits. Though I'm ending this blog on a early note due to sleepiness, The Music will always be where I leave it. In need of a conversation....Rosado Out...