Yet Again, I find myself defending My words and actions. Again!? Yuppp Again..

"Thinking about a chick who may have played me, for a venture with her ex. Umm Alot to put into context. lmao...Bitch..I was talking thoughts"

2:14 AM Aug 15th via web

Deadass, There is always something someone takes out of context when dealing with me. For whatever reason, hell if I know. Though those who do know me or consider that they do, should most often know if I am going to address you with something. I will not go ass backwards of doings it, and with that said as of lately my most recent issue has been my "Twitter" account. Lol mindbogglingly? Yes, for the simple fact of this is not the 1st account in general. That I had someone come attack something I said, or taken it out of proportion.

Why I really never understand as to why this happens? Or has been happening, I mean I know I say some direct things. If and when hurt or felt done wrong nah mean? First time overall was with that Ash Jenkins chick, She swore up and down I was talkin' or trying to get at someone with the name "Titties4Sale". Like really? How could I have been doing such when I am with you? and then as always this blog gets under people's skin, for whatever the reason may be. Have I cared? Yes/No though at times I depict what I go through, And think at times or just feel like sounding off when no one wants to hear what I have to say. 2nd and 3rd case was and following my most recent Ex gf, one minute she swore I've been telling in detail what we have been doing or planning or doing. In actuality, How do you classify someone telling "Their plans" when one is saying "Cant wait to see my lady (Insert Ex Gf name here"). When time and time you can clearly see what I say, Why do I get knocked for these things? I really know it is someone else out there who endures these things, or maybe it is just self inflicted because of me. Deadass though, I can honestly attest to my intentions always being good. Though why is it I am the only one that sees this? When I was off being the other dude I used to be, I had less worries. The minute I open up more, and fall back on being so uptight. I get fucked royally, something has to give. Its bad enough, I see myself on the road to going back to the old me. When being caring and considerate, was not even entertained. For the simple fact of avoiding these things, you know..Attachments and so on.

My most recent debacle, was the fact I reached out to this Ex (mistake #1). Should have went with my first mind, and not sent the email. Which was not even a email it turned into a FB message since I did not remember her email address, Lets back track for a minute. Because, I was told numerous times not to hit the woman up. Though my other bff Kandis kind of hinted I should attempt to, I decided against it for a good little minute. Though I had an unfinished email I had plans on sending to the woman, just could not pull myself to do it. So I went out on a limb, and said I'd fire it off. See what happens, Should've known every time I fire off some sort of contact. I always get "Shots fired" in return, for something that rained on someones parade. Knowing well whatever got them tight had nothing to do with them, As always.

Though I welcome it, because like I've said to many I have associated and disassociated with. That I always feel that I'll end up defending myself in the public eye every waking day, and to an extent or greater degree I feel it really shows you what defines me. Or maybe I should not be categorized if you would like to go that topic of choice, I mean I personally dont think that much in to it. So how about you? I try, I mean really do try to watch what I say and or do. Though most of the things I walk into or that are caused by my "words", I dont know I'm doing it or in it until it happens to be spitting venom back at me. And most times I used to pride myself on running into battle to clear the battlefield and be the last one remaining, but the older I get (and more Charles hamilton I listen to) I learn silence is at times a damn good weapon. Often times the art of expression or articulation is also, When used properly. Which often gets misconstrued or contorted, and seemingly my words and sometimes get that action very often.

I never understood as to why, Like when I am on my serious or sensitive shit. I get knocked for it, but when others or past acts (Associates & friends) get tight yall want to aim for my neck. Like jeez, I know my words are targets...but damn ease up off me. Stop putting me on a pedestal, I like it but in some case I rather earn it. Than fuck up, inplace of gaining it and as fast it comes. Is as fast as it blows the fuck up? dig me?. In actuality, I would love to have a lot of peoples opinions on this. Then again no, because not everyone's opinion counts. To the ones who opinion does count, They never speak to me about it. Or I rarely ask to go off into it, for the fact of it is not many who speak directly to me when I ask of assistance. Bud Dwyer type ish though slime, I really want more out it and about it. Though now I've expressed these thing, I'll just leave as for you the reader whomever you are. To leave a comment on my blog lol. Insider...Deadass though slime. Until next blog...