It would take for me to read someone else blog.

For me to remember I have one of my own, I havent been to friendly with. Given I've strayed away from it for a while, the reason as to why? I mean honestly, I've been dealing with alot. From still dealing with my Ex (yes she is lingering around like a terrible fart, that you let out while in your own personal space.) to me just being down right fearful and indecisive about why I allow her to do the things she does, rather it is leading me on. Or just making me plainly feel fucking stupid, to be frank about it.

I mean do not get me wrong in the least bit, I still love her. Still in love with her, but what does that mean in her eyes? Nothing, right? Right...Deadass though, then its numerous things she does the bothers me. Though I am not going to leave those complaints here on my blog, as of yet I will say this. I'm so fearful of fucking around with someone new that it is kind of irritating/depressing all at once.

Then there are a few women who have been around, that have either taken notice to the fact I am publicly up my ex's ass. Or trying to see why or what she has they dont for me to be spending so much time, or punkass tweet time about.

For example:

Chocobunny: Very great friend, very observant. Kinda really fooled me that I assumed she was more naive than she had led me on to believe, We've had countless conversations about why I am the way I am with this particular ex. Then come to find out she is also dedicated to a person herself, The joys of bonding and learning people I tell ya. Deadass though, that and its refreshing to have a certified good friend you know that'll actually observe you and REMEMBER the things they learn. So its quite refreshing to know someone still gives a fuck about other people...

Then there is "Q-Baby" she's been around for about 3-4years also watched me go through those defining relationships, that made me fearful of being in a relationship. I deadass knew she always had a thing for me, but she stepped out on good faith to let me know she really diggin' me. along with telling me she wants to claim my heart, then it was like whooaaaa. I Really like clutched my heart like my nuts, had to think about that for a second. I mean I'd be cool with sharing a piece of it, but the whole fucking thing? Nooooooo, Not me. Sorry, if you wanna stick around in hopes of something surfacing. Power to you, but I dont want you to go all in on this one bet. If you leave, in which case is most likely to happen. I'll still be the friend I've been over the years...

Then there is D.Lovely, she is ok. 5 year age difference between us, Sooo I am really attempting to defer her. One I dont really care for anything that is beyond 2 yrs younger than me, Not even for sex (Blame that on my godparents for drilling that into my dome as I was younger). She has had a very troubled past, which makes me want to comfort her. Though I feel as if I cant, more so not going to comfort her. Since all my comfort was left for that particular ex, which bothers me to a point but I digress.

In which case those are the following i've been dealing with for about the last 2 weeks of my damned existence, I'd really be less pissed if I was to be fucking...But I'm not...Who's pussy do I have to snatch off for some sex? shit...sexual frustration is a bitch.