The Anti-socialite

1.Antisocial - shunning contact with others; "standoffish and antisocial"; "he's not antisocial; just shy"

2.Unsociable - not inclined to society or companionship; "an unsociable nature...shy and reserved"; "generally unsociable except with intimate friends"; "unsociable behavior"; "an unsociable neighborhood"


I am probably the exact opposite of those definitions, Depending on how you view me or interact with me. Either way I just like those two words in particular, Anywhom it has been a while since I last posted. More so 2 weeks or so, but who cares right!? I've been quiet yet again, From the blog scene for a lot of reasons. Usually I'd rant off what or why I've been away, But today I will not try to be as a elaborate about it. I've been staying to what is left of my team, even though we all still play for the same squad. There is something wrong with this picture, A lot of ego's have came into play. So no one is going to call anyone out on it, Well atleast not yet. Issues stay handled in house only, no need to flaunt it out to others that have nothing to do with it. Anywho back to why I've been quiet, I've been bottling up a lot of things that have been bothering me. seemingly every time I come around to blogging it is always about something or someone, Well I assured myself that is what my blog was for up until a few more people I associate with began to read what I spill. I feel the sweat falling off of my pores as I try to give you all (My Readers) this product, but with in house issues and nothing being done to handle it or not fuck up something is causing one to become accustomed to staying in ones own shell.

I've tried coping with it by occupying myself, even though that only works temporarily. I truly laid back on drinking, ever since my 23rd Bday I was bent from that day up until like the week I had went to Ypsilanti. Man that is another case & story for another blog, but deadass I'm glad to have cut back on the drinking. Too many terrible times and thoughts revisited, I think the last time I blogged was in April. Dont remember the exact date, though It was 2 weeks or so ago. I have also tried coping or occupied myself with music, Which is always there and will never do me harm. Then again while listening to tunes all at once instead of one particular track or album, Karma has a sick sense of humor. That plays the right or wrong track to really destroy or enhance ones mood, Which is fine at some point and time. Though it does nothing for me to sit and think when not busying myself to better things, Than they already are. I mean yea I've came along from previous blogs, I'd like to say "Thank You" for your love, care and time spent. I wont call names, you should know who you are from the description. Still I continue on with this mental depiction of things that were or bothers one, I havent really had much contact with Chris. For many of reasons, I refuse to join a damn 7-on-7 football team for leisure time I do not have. Sorry, Just will not happen. No matter how many times I leave questions unanswered or tell him I have other things to do in place of that fickle act, I did not get everything lined up for summer classes. Enough said on that note, I simply became complacent with a minor goal that was accomplished, and it gave me little to no sense satisfaction. Along with me pulling things together and finding someone to get busy for, So I took that loss and move forward.

Even though I could not reflect upon the months that were, I will say this. March & April came with a lot of great things and people, Need I say great love behind that? Outside of that, there were things that are always on the negative as well as the positive. When is it not negative with positive right? Though it was not loss worthy, It took its share of lumps. Glad things are now back on the bright side despite "Mother's Day" has approached quickly, now in its own right. It is and will be a beautiful day, for all of the motherly people I've had in my life. Present and pass, Though everyone in my family has had little to no contact with me since my birthday. Which I like that way, It made me able to focus on the things I needed to do and maintain. It just irks me everytime I reappear everyone tends to ask me about Mary, My godfather and I spoke about the last time we came in contact which was not much of an issue. My grandmother asked me about, more so pelted me with statements in regards to a lot of pointless things. That can not and will not be ever fixed or mended,As Always she continues to speak about the home I once resided in. Along with who is in it when it was supposed to have been long gone and sold, But Oh well You live and let learn. Hell if the scar and stitches come along with it you take it and move forward, Deadass though.

As my recent music binges I've came across countless music fav's as a child coming up. It instantly brought me back to the days when I first started getting into music. Nas & AZ, in my opinion...Were some of the most descriptive yet intelligent Emcee’s to ever touch and pen also a mic. The stories that were depicted painted alone were breath taking. I also believe that my favorite AZ song (Just Wanna Be There) was highly under the radar & should have been as much of a world known classic as “Phone Tap” was. It also saddens me for the fact it was really only about what you had to say. Nothing more, no jewels or endorsing. Just the words were really where the power once lied. There was no need for anything else. Just a Lowkey crate digger sample, a extraordinary baseline & and some kicks and snares (Post 808's). Wit a poet spilling effortless thoughts over the kicks.

Nas & AZ have always had a knack for getting the point across. It also makes me revisit the deepest thoughts I was all into the stories they told. I wanted to be just like them, emulating their east coast styles & slang. (Hence the slight new york twitch to me). It also brings me back to times when nothing mattered but music. None of these blogs, or websites, or people I interact with or none of this feeling like I needed to be this and have all of that. Just strictly the music, also who wanted to take that ride with me to wherever I was or could be taking them too. It personally saddens me because in which somewhere I am always lost in many a sense. When I was just a kid with headphones, a computer full of music & some bummy ass AF1's sneakers. Wearing the same clothes every week, Some place it still exists til this very day (Mind you I'm 23 now). I got a tad more clothing, and sneakers. So my sneakers are not bummy. Those songs and albums I vividly listen to often are big part of my growing up. From bus rides to get home after putting in hours on someones MPC or FL Studio right after school. The long walks I took (and still take) when life or my days became hectic at my home (at Whatever time). Songs like those take me somewhere else that I feel continuous undying comfort and love. Their stories took me away and inspired me to do so myself, I know its impossible to revert to where I was, but it was so innocent. I miss it so much. I haven’t listened to Nas in a very long time. (Nas is my favorite rapper of all time Along with Fab and many others).I think I’m going to revisit my It Was Written album. Along with a few unfinished blogs, yes I STILL believe “I Am” > “Illmatic”. these times to never be forgotten, I hope you enjoyed what I left you with if and when you are reading this. Thank you for your time.