The letter to the woman who gave birth to me. She'll probably never see.

Dear Ann,


I really do love you and commend you for giving birth to me, minus all of the other bullshit that happens to surround us. I honestly love you til my very last breath, yet there are alot of things...Let me rephrase the. There are alot of "pointless" things that you do that really irks me, now I know as parents you all are not really totally wrong let alone right. I will say how I viewed you coming up to this point really changed how I look at you especially how you act toward me, I mean ok. Yeah, I fucked up plenty of times in life. Should that make you act differently to your first born child? Or no matter what that thing they speak of "Unconditional love" I believe. I do not think we have that, Well its more so a one-way street than anything.

That is generally speaking, because there are 2 handfuls of things we could personally debate. However the case may be, but I know for a fact things took a total turn for the worse when that infamous lawsuit money came. Not too mention the fact of when I caught my felony (Yes readers, Your boy made a ignorant ass mistake at 18 that cost me having a record.) but more so due to Keith being in your life. There are a lot of questions I'll never have answers to, There are many of things I know not about you. As well as you believe you know about me, though you will never take the time out to ask or probably care, In which case this is just me venting to my own personal blog. Which only feels my interim tears. Not too mention the bond between myself & and my younger siblings, Me & Bitty rarely have the ideal "Big bro lil bro" relationship. Which irks me to no end, but I settle for the sibling relationships I've found outside of my own flesh and blood. Then NaeNae, omg We act alike yet she is turning into a miniature you. Which I really cannot stand with a passion, but fuck it I cant nor will I do shit about it. I just honestly hope they do now have some of the same issues I have with you once they become of age...If they ever do.

Me personally, I never really intended to feel like I dont have the ideal mother I could look to and converse with as you are my bestfriend. I never really looked to you to be the mother who I would have a uncut unadultered conversation with about what goes on in my personal bubble you may know nothing of, Or even the reasoning on some of the things I've probably done that may have caused you to look at me differently. I do know these are things that will probably go unanswered until I am in the grave or if the grandchild(ren) you may have out of me tell you how "Papa really felt"...But as long as my name is Roderic. I'll continue to have this undying affection for you, that is because you are who birthed me. Nothing more nothing less...well maybe less.....