Umm Yeah...

Yeah I'm back again for like the millionth time since i have been going through it, but i just got back in from a long walked around the hood...Yes the hood nigga...if your from detroit and seen where i lived you'd ask me who does that at this time of night?
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stupid? yes none the less but when u buggin out like i've been buggin out that is one of many mistakes that cannot be changed. Anywhom i had a conversation with LaLa today she called me out the random while i was going through it and i happen to have needed someone to talk to and my brothers wasnt answering their phones Ty was probably busy with Chicky wing and Chicky wings momma...Egan was gettin fresh to go get fresh wit a Chick....Chris Was sleep or going through shit wit his baby momma...
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The more i sit here i wish i had my own Macbook pro (Preferably) Because of Garage band and so much more shit i could do on there with out the use of a MPC but its all good hopefully i'll land this hoeass job so i can work toward getting the shit off my ass,ALSO!!! Yes umm I found out a shocking lil tid bit of CH (Charles Hamilton) I did not know he dropped out of HS and copped his G.E.D (Sounds close to home doesnt it?) also and he cant read music either but he did learn eventually still aint too talented with it (Like Me right?) yet everything i continue to find out and or look up
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Dudes music is completely dumb crazy i relate to it, and i assume everyone around me is slowly catching on slowly but surely.Not to say i'm jockin dude but listen to this.
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For those that do know me tell me if you dont hear alot of me out of there? lol minus the pink shit which makes up for my fascination with purple and Yellow...which i'll kick knowledge on that too..
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In human color psychology, purple is also associated with royalty, regality, and nobility (stemming from antiquity where Tyrian Purple was only affordable to the elites). dead ass though i do know my shit from time to time but i felt like being alil more informational today i'll get back to the point of this blog later i'm just getting out some shit for now... on to my other obssession Yellow
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Stars of spectral classes F and G, such as our sun Sol, have color temperatures that make them look "yellowish".[11] The first astronomer to classify stars according to their color was F. G. W. Struve in 1827. One of his classifications was flavae, or yellow, and this roughly corresponded to stars in the modern spectral range F5 to K0.[12] The Strömgren photometric system for stellar classification includes a 'y' or yellow filter that is centered at a wavelength of 550 nm and has a bandwidth of 20–30 nm
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Anywhom hopefully you've made it thus far to get back to what and why this blog was being written anywhom the more i bang out to this CH dude he makes me realize shit will be ok and will get better gradually i just wish she would see it, not to mention he has these exact same problems with his "NowAndLater"
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The more I listen to the "Pink Lavalamp" Its really became a daily routine to bang that out to keep what little bit of sanity i attempt to claim and keep but yet if She has listened to that song either on her macbook or itunes cuz she does have the songs on her computer...I tryed to google the lyrics so i wont have to type them out but eventually i will
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I'm like super like hurt but then again i can honestly admit something to this woman i never even thought of admitted to her and it goes a tad bit beyond love...only if she'll listen to that song while reading this blog
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I'm not into this bloggin shit for the response just to show someone else out there in this blasted fuckin world that my life may be better than yours and you can learn from my mistakes...or show the other person my life is completely worse than you can possibly fuckin father so be humble or subtle about the things and or blessings in your life...
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Its not hard being me, never will be but i will not trade this shit for the world...I've garnered alot of bullshit in my life good and or bad but the one thing i would love to keep the most out of all of it is my Team (FAMILIA ROYALE!!!!) and her even through her bullshit she gives me and the shit i give or gave her...she dont know now i'm tellin the secret is out..even though she is not married to me nor having a child by me i would die and go to hell for this woman...
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Ty and E And Chris know, Especially Ty who even knew when he posed the question of rick letting her go that easily? No, Even though it may not work out and or crash and burn like it already has the black box has yet to be found...but i am and truly expressing my heart and feelings off of raw emotion like i've told E about it recently on one of his endeavors
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Non one outside of my own crew really understands my pain and or my problems and she comes close maybe even in their leauge but she does not take the time out to see why i am the way i am, and all of this shit i just kicked to you or whoever is reading this...this is my fucking promise i'll be there for you cuz i'm Rick and always will be around no matter what..you might want to replay that song above cuz i say it with and hand over my heart and tears pour as i type every last letter and space in this fucking blog
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I believe i've pledged more than enough shit to any and everyone i come across ever in life, and this is more for you (YES YOU!!) I happen to be focused on the wrong things or not so wat who cares long as i'm here by your side you should be content with that as things get better and happen to be happy for wat little i do have and or own...and that reaches out to friends and or family and whoever else is on this, I mean i literally cant pledge my heart off...this is why i run and do not look back and yet i'm going in alil too personal but i made it this far so fuck it hopefully after who the hell ever reads this I hope u feel u know me a tad bit more becuz this is Roderic exposed at his worse/best
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I'm pretty much done and i've been writing this since you've sent me that message @ 3:48am and every time i dream i dream of you every time i think dream girl i think of u...i will admit i wanna treat u like how these dope boyz treat their women materialistically but i cant right now so understand the other influence's i've gotten and make up for outside of all that...each and everyday i make it through with a heartache and pain even when my crew make it looks easy...I'm Done....Yes..done, i'm not writing this to get you back or win you over i really do not give a fuck in the least bit i just know i left it all on the table i'll end up in the garbage either which way but just know Roderic Ray Jr. Will always been there and if not there i'm always around.....