Post 300!! Lets get it, Open a lil more to you my readers

Now since it is my 300th post, I should attempt to give you more personal insight to me as a person. Which seemingly I do without staying on topic, Which probably makes me seem deadass type: Rambler. Though its in good intentions, So without further a do lets get it.

Shouts to Juli B, My homie I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For the words shared and opinion given, I aint the best. Though, Its a work in progess. I'll try to keep my head up...


I've struggled in recent years with the fact that I have a easy time trusting, Yet not trusting women. I typically always have some sketchy things going down in most relationships I'm in. Could be that I’m just very lenient when it comes to ladies? Probably. I’ve never been the type to read your texts, or ask how you know papio hittin you up. My advice to that, come up with whatever you feel is the truth is based on that person's behavior, and then check if you can live with that. Deadass though, I had it set in my mind that a diablo who had been with however many dudes, came to find out she had really only been with a handful.

Yeah, its about to get emo.

I believe the main reason why I don’t believe much of anyone is because in my teen years, I used to kinda front to women often… about everything. That whole thing about suspecting people to do things you probably would do in a certain situation is actually the truth. If ya chick said she was going out, Why isn’t she responding to text messages? Doesn’t she keep her phone right next to her? In my past, I was never that duder who thought I was being cheated on. Because I know that at one point in life, when I was with one chick I would just never ignore my cell phone. Like straight up ignore it.

I another reason why I feel my trust in women is faulting because a lot of messed up shit has happened to me since I started getting real attached with women. First, I lost my piece of my sanity to a little fro having person who has now probably legally bipolar (Watch the comments for a harsh one fired off).I honestly wanted her forever and more, but she said very harsh things and thought I couldnt do this, that and the 3rd. No need for the politics of it so we had to let it go. early on after we made it official, she cheated on me with probably one of her random male friends. Nuff said on that note.

Then, the next girl I was with...Everyone knows how that story went. Shit I lived it out through my blog.but…le sigh. Ash Jenks didn’t help, I was trying to build some shit with who I thought was going to be the girl of my dreams until she wrote me a FB letter and broke up with me, Then Ruby also played me to be with some dude who is probably gonna ended up playing her. This is when I started to believe that not only was she not to be trusted, but she wasn’t that smart either, and it bothered me that she wasn’t that smart because I was attracted to her.

Deadass let me tell you, it doesn’t get any better from there.

"Raise your hand if you’ve ever been trying to talk to a girl and shoot the straight one only to find out you’re like her #2 option. The messed up part about it is, your #1 option treats you like a #2, and your #2 option, probably feels the same way about you. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been deaded and the next dude your shorty was talking to was a complete dirtbag. Makes you wonder why she would rather that than you. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been flat out lied to, like right to your face. The messed up part is that often times when you know you’re being lied to, you can’t even tell the person how you know because you did some psycho shit. Raise your hand if you’ve ever decided to give it one more chance and that person let you down, just like all the rest of the ones before did." - One of my favorite blogs.

My paw has been raised this entire blog.

So deadass, I am just alil too trusting of women, because I have interacted with too many women, romantically, that I can/cant trust. I think that women in general do what’s best for them, when it’s best for them. I think that if a person thinks they will get away with something, they just do what the hell they want to do. That’s how life is, I’ve kinda came to grips with it. I’ve sorta tried all the remedies and suggestions and no avail that shit ever work. Trust is given, or trust is earned, I think those are two bullshit. I think my strategy works alil, I don’t try to trust you as far as I can see you. I’ve had a conversations with women up until this point in my life where they ask me if I trust them, and I say, I do but then again dont need to trust you. At the end of the night, if I’m not in bed with you, or on the phone with you. You could be anywhere in the world, doing whatever/whoever. People have told me that they were going to sleep and come to find out they were in their car,when i told them they were fronting. So I have been led to believe that more times than not, I shouldn’t have been trusting the person. So I don’t really trust them.


I’m working on my shit deadass though. I’m kinda getting better. It’s a major work in progress. I try force myself to trust less now, in hopes that it becomes habit later. Cannot say that I actually feel it working, but also I think that I’m not likely to do anything psycho, and I’m not liable to blow up anytime soon.. That’s progress right? Closer today than I was yesterday. (This is actually a motivational quote I learned. Try it out sometime.) Deadass though.