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You'll see this eventually, The only pic we've had together.
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Sitting at this damn public library, is like one nerve wrecking task in it own right. Knocked out some more Job applications, dropped into a few stores. Anywhom, I had received a text saying "AJ messaged me today". Now instinctively I already know how that is about to end, just like the rest of the things that came around over and over again. I will say this I've let it be known time and time again, I was and still am all about Azidula (Most of you already know her name). I've been righting what little wrongs there was, in a big attempt to get her back even if "Love doesnt live here anymore"
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Like deadass though, Thats all understandable. I refuse to be portrayed as someone who is trying to vie for one's attention while being in another woman's grill, fuck that. We all know where my heart was at and where it still is, if anyone one has wondered? Yes, I did call that nigga and told her I hoped she was happy that me and Azidula was no longer together. Yes, I said we were beefed out and said a few "Fuck Her"'s in the process. Was it out of anger? Yes, did I mean it? No, so everything that has happened is not and will not be worth regret from her side, then come to find out later that it was exactly what she wanted. This is why i specifically asked to spend one last evening with you rather it was the end, or a new beginning. No one believes me for what reason? Lack of proof? Who is to say there is none? Who is there to say its not substantial?
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Yes, My love for you is still at its pique and will not change even if its for the time being...but how can one attempt to deal with trying to earn someone back and right there own wrongs, and balance dealing with someone else who says:

"Rick and I had our ups and downs and he is currently at a place where neither him nor I want him to be, nonetheless, I am at a point where I understand that I cannot live for anyone but me and my sanity comes first."

"Plus I have the courage to step out the box as far as men go and venture to the man of maturity and stability. For those that know me... It is sooooo good to talk to some one that is of their own."
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What else is there more to say I mean really? I keep getting short ended, mostly of my own fuck-up's. Which I'm more than willing to admit, and if Azidula is mad nor know when she is going to stop being mad. I'm around, rather my phone will be off or not I'll stay around waiting on the day I hear the words I yearn to hear "Lets try it again". It would be all good if everything wouldn't have went certain directions or false hopes, but shit cant change and I refuse to believe people change that quickly in under 4hours of sleep. So I say for now, Whenever you want to see my phone for the proof or whatever your searching for or could change everything let me know. It'll be here....



"Whats star when his most important fan is missing?" - Drake